dealing with non-performance in the bedroom..

LegacyUser

hey there.
ok well i guess ill just put this all out in the open, and hopefully someone can point me in the right direction before this develops into anything more than it should be.

i am out of a long term relationship (7 years)... it has been over a while, since last year, still friends and that, but Its safe to say that its over. She is in another country working at the moment so its never realyl an issue. BUT, I have recently started seeing this girl, who i have know for a few years... lovely girl in all sense of the word, but I have hit a bit of brick wall performance wise. i know its common, and not to make a mountain out of a mole hill ... all of that... but it doesnt make it any easier when faced with the dreaded situation. This girl is cool, she knows about my previous relationship, but the kicker is... she has a significant other in her home country. in my head thats cool, i mean, i wasnt looking for anything too serious myself, however things have been developing, and we both have to ask ourselves some questions....

back to the bedroom, things are very on and off, we spent alot of last week together, but after one mishap, we decided not to force things i guess. i really want to fix this nonsense, because it is all in my head. I understand that sometimes the situation is just - 'not right', but i feel like there is more to it, and that i should address these issues in my own head.

I guess over the last year or so, I have become a little more 'pensive' and close friends wondered whether I was depressed. I reckon Im ok... ocassionally i delve into bad lines of thought, but nothing i cant deal with, and when i get a bit down or whatever, i tend to get active and work on stuff that is important to me. it would be naieve not to think that all of this is pertinent to my current problem so that is that. Ex-GF, new girl on the scene (with a fella in another country) = droopy drawers!!!

i really want to sort this out. if not to further this thing with the new girl, then to just clean my own head from all the crap.

any recommendations on where i can look for a solution? i have been toying with the idea of meditation classes. also i tried some hypnosis cds for performance anxiety, which were kinda funny, and slightly effective. any other avenues to investigate? a shrink or therapist??

it really is a bummer. i just want to have a good time with this girl, because its not very often i get a chance to fool around with someone i really like. ill look forward to your replies..

thanks for your time .....