I love myself beyond belief :0

selfobsessed

I don't know where to start, as this is all just such a mess...

For the last couple of years I have being obsessed with my appearence. I am a 21 year old male, tall, good looking with a decent shaped body. However this is where the problem lies. In secondary school I was loud obnoxious, and possibly one of the most irritating people there at the time. I got on people's nerves, I caused trouble, they hated me. In return I was bullied mostly over the way I looked, I always wondered at the time as I didn't think I looked ugly or too bad at all? I was small and extremly thin, infact my rib cage was on display. I was fragile and sickly looking, pale in complexion. I was taunted for about three years about how I looked like Michael Jackson, I was called alien head, E.T, bag of bones, skeleton, an ugly ****, people even questioned who would want to be with an ugly lad like me. It hurt but I fought back and gave as good as I got. I even changed schools and the same stuff started again, even had the E.T comments again.

Within the last year of completing school the comments had died down and I was starting to mature in myself. I was also starting to fill out in my face and body and beginning to look abit better. Three months after school, I went to college and here for the first time ever I was told by a group of lads one night that I was a really good looking lad and had very handsome features. I was flattered mind you they were drunk at the time but none the less I was happy as it was the first time to be told something like that. This was just the beginning, women would come up to me in clubs and ask me out, people would stare and smile at me in the street, people would comment on bebo about how hot I was and ask for my phone number. Within a year after leaving school, my confidence had grown hugely. I had endless comments from people talling me what a handsome man I was, mostly from women 40 -50 plus mind. My head exploded I thought I was the thing, I still do. Everytime I went to the gym or go out shopping I go into my own word where I think I am the most handsome man to walk into the place and everyone around me was just average looking. I still do this.

Now I don't think like this all the time, I seem to be going through periods of low self esteem where I think I am just average looking. I mean last night a friend took a picture of me and I thought I just looked so plain. I have to take pictures of myself in order to like them. I also feel I can have any woman I want, and all they have to do is just look at me. Nobody has made a negitive comment about my appearence since I left school so I don't really know why I suffer from this low self-esteem at times, it just comes out of nowhere. So at the moment I am hating myself due to seeing that awful picture of myself.

Anyway I need to stop loving myself basically, this is not good to be so obsessed with my appearence and damn my laptop batterry is dead and I can'r elaborate, hope someone can help me

silkworm53

You are extremely good-looking and you can get any woman you want.
So use it and enjoy it.
You have a gift so take full advantage.
Get through as many women as you possible can.
Best of luck:D
You don't have a problem.

LegacyUser

Nobody has made a negitive comment about my appearence since I left school so I don't really know why I suffer from this low self-esteem at times, it just comes out of nowhere. So at the moment I am hating myself due to seeing that awful picture of myself.

Anyway I need to stop loving myself basically, this is not good to be so obsessed with my appearence and damn my laptop batterry is dead and I can'r elaborate, hope someone can help me

Ahh Op maybe you're reaching that stage in life where you are beginning to realise that looks aren't everything?
That one day you might want to find a girlfriend/partner, and you are beginning to see that looks will only get you so far? That personality is also important?
Maybe your scared that your looks are the only thing you have going for you?

In secondary school I was loud obnoxious, and possibly one of the most irritating people there at the time. I got on people's nerves, I caused trouble, they hated me.

Well OP what are you like now? Do people like you? Your looks have changed, but has your personality?

You are extremely good-looking and you can get any woman you want.
So use it and enjoy it.
You have a gift so take full advantage.
Get through as many women as you possible can.
Best of luck
You don't have a problem.

ahh good 'ol short sightedness, no he doesn't have a problem now, but in a few years time maybe...
As women get older they value more than just looks.
Looks won't keep you company at 60 with 3 kids, looks fade.
Yes at 21, a lot of men and women are shallow, but the OP seems to be acknowledging the flaw in relying solely on his looks.

OP concentrate on being a nice guy, treat people with respect, its ok to think you're good looking, its not a crime, but at the same time understand its how we treat others that matters in the long run, not how we look. Understand that people judge you more on your actions than your appearance. Learn to love yourself for your personality.

pwd

I've had girlfriends like this. I wouldn't say you love yourself exactly. Thinking you're good looking when loads of people tell you you are good looking is reasonable rather than conceited. The problem is tying your sense of self-worth to something superficial, and obsessing a bit over it.

Being good-looking is great, it gives you all sorts of advantages. But you should try to think of it in practical terms, rather than as something that defines you. It's the same as money, or your job, or your social position. They're all transient, and part of your situation rather than part of your self.

To try to use an analogy of a game: These are things that should be considered as cards in the hand, rather than as part of the player holding them. You should make practical use of them while you have them, and not sit there staring at them while things pass you by.