One nights stand boys girlfriend is pregnant

little angel

I have been meeting up with this guy for a year now just for fun and games all on the quiet i have told no one nor has he..i found out he had a girlfriend of 4 yrs a few weeks ago from another indirect source but I know its a 100%..he told me he was single form the start.. although a few months ago he said he started seening this girl other girl which is his girlfriend of 4 yrs and he made out to me its only 4 months he is going out with.. when i heard this i was not impresses and pulled back..Anyway 2 weeks ago he comes out and tells me she is pregnant..then I said thats it im cutting all contact from him and not touching him again..but he keeps txting me and ringing telling me how much his live is messed up with this news and all I can do is agree with him..like what can I say to him?? He is always just going about the pregnancy and the girlfriend..I feel USED!! What should i do all i can say is u're life is ruined!!
We live in different counties miles apart so its hard to meet up and he is with her the whole time now..so doesn't even make sense for him to contact me..He has her and the baby for life now!!
Dont know how he will stick her though she is one moody women that would panic I'd say if she was made change a nappy..its going to be a tough 9months putting up with her and of course for the whole duration of the upbring of the child..Like he obviously doesn't love her when he was playing away with me...he is bored and fed up with her before the ball even starts rolling..
I feel USED, FED UP and nearly feel its me actually having the baby..I cant concentrate sleep and dont know what to do???
Any one have any ideas??
CONFUSED!!!!!!!!

Bottle_of_Smoke

Cut contact.

He's behaved outrageously. Do you want anything from him? If not just cut him loose and tell him its inappropriate to contact. Don't feel bad he'll no doubt find someone else.

Oh, for Goodness sake, just walk away. It's none of your business what his girlfriend is like or what type of mother she'll be. He sounds like a horrible person, but really, none of this is your concern. Cut him off Facebook, block his number, whatever. No good is ever going to come out staying in contact with him.

Cheap Thrills!

little angel wrote: »

I have been meeting up with this guy for a year now just for fun and games all on the quiet i have told no one nor has he..i found out he had a girlfriend of 4 yrs a few weeks ago from another indirect source but I know its a 100%..he told me he was single form the start.. although a few months ago he said he started seening this girl other girl which is his girlfriend of 4 yrs and he made out to me its only 4 months he is going out with.. when i heard this i was not impresses and pulled back..

little angel wrote: »

Anyway 2 weeks ago he comes out and tells me she is pregnant..

I thought you said you pulled back? Were you still seeing him or what ...this is confusing?

little angel wrote: »

then I said thats it im cutting all contact from him and not touching him again..but he keeps txting me and ringing telling me how much his live is messed up with this news and all I can do is agree with him..like what can I say to him??

What can you say to him???? What?? How about NOTHING.
It's totally irrelevant in the grand scheme of things what you say to him. He has made a gobsh!te of his GF and of you and you're worried about phrasing texts to him about a problem that is totally NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS.

little angel wrote: »

He is always just going about the pregnancy and the girlfriend..I feel USED!! What should i do all i can say is u're life is ruined!!

HIS life is ruined? :rolleyes: Og FFS, you sound like his little parrott, repeating what he wants to hear, which is all about 'poor him'

Fcuk him, he made his bed, let him lie in it. It's his GF I feel sorry for.

little angel wrote: »

We live in different counties miles apart so its hard to meet up and he is with her the whole time now..so doesn't even make sense for him to contact me..He has her and the baby for life now!!

Meet up? I thought you'd cut contact?

little angel wrote: »

Dont know how he will stick her though she is one moody women that would panic I'd say if she was made change a nappy..its going to be a tough 9months putting up with her and of course for the whole duration of the upbring of the child..

:rolleyes: Oh my God OP, I'm sorry here but you are terribly naive. How do you know she is 'moody' -from what he's told you.....he is a proven LIAR. Think about it. And even if she was moody, she possibly senses something wrong when her BF has been having an affair for a year.

little angel wrote: »

Like he obviously doesn't love her when he was playing away with me...

Oh OP, I'd laugh at this if it wasn't so pathetically tragic. People cheat on people, it's nothing to do with love. Neither is sex. It seems like you want to think just because he has sex with you he loves you. It doesn't mean any such thing. It's just scratching an itch. You ARE being used. It's taken long enough for the penny to drop but for God's sake cop on and cut this assh0le dead now.

little angel wrote: »

he is bored and fed up with her before the ball even starts rolling..
I feel USED, FED UP and nearly feel its me actually having the baby..I cant concentrate sleep and dont know what to do???
Any one have any ideas??
CONFUSED!!!!!!!!

What to do is wake up and get real. Cut him dead and leave him to sort out his own messes. Oh and never get involved with someone who is unavailable again, you mentioned your fun and games were 'all on the quiet' -well whose idea was the secrecy? His? If so you should have smelt a rat. Wise up OP!

The minute you find out he lied you should have read him the riot act and cut contact. It's not too late now. Delete his number and texts until he gets the message.

little angel

A bit harsh cheap trills...when I found out about the girlfriend I told him that it wasn't going to work ,I did stay in contact but refused to meet up just to stay as friends..
However one night before I heard the gf was pregnant i did meet up
and my hormones got the better of me..but since then I have been really short with him on txting facebook and on the phone..Its just that he keeps contacting me even when I say stop and I think its rude not to reply or talk.
I no for a fact he defo doesn't love me nor I love him thats a fact...Dont no how he feels about the gf sure he could of 3 more girls somewhere too how do we know..
And I do know the girlfriend met her a few times through friends of friends obviously I didnt no she was going out with the same man I was seeing but didnt like her personality at all not my cup of tea..I suppose im just been harsh though on her..shouldn't even bring her into the equation.
Its the stupidy of the lad is my problem..i suppose you could say he was getting a prostitute for free..

I am a friend

She is nothing to do with you and your comments on her only served to make you sound mean...

You are encouraging him by sleeping with him after saying no and then replying him. Its not rude to stop replying to his booty calls its rude to sleep with someone when your gf is pregnant.

silkworm53

I don't think you should continue to have anything to do with him but you should tell him that his gf could save the two of them a lot of trouble by having an abortion.

little angel

silkworm53 wrote: »

I don't think you should continue to have anything to do with him but you should tell him that his gf could save the two of them a lot of trouble by having an abortion.

I did say that to him.. but think she wants to keep it.. is it hard to go about getting an abortion anyway?
Havent slept with him since he told me she was pregnant and WONT!!

How Strange

You say you two were meeting up for some secret fun and games for a year. Obviously if those were the terms of the arrangement then why do you feel used? You were both using each other for sex.

You said you told him to stop contacting you but he still does through facebook and by text. To me it seems you're saying no no no but in reality you haven't cut yourself off from this at all. You're still in it up to your knees. Delete and block him from facebook, delete his phone no and don't reply to his texts. It really is that simple. He'll soon get the message.

As for your comments about his gf, the pregnancy and their relationship; well it just makes
you sound vindictive and immature. They have a life together that you know nothing about.
She may be a thundering b1tch but it's none of your concern. Neither is the pregnancy
or their future together.

Do yourself a favour and cut this guy out of your life and find a guy whose honest, decent and wants more from you than a secret shag and a shoulder to cry on.

little angel

little angel wrote: »

I did say that to him.. but think she wants to keep it.. is it hard to go about getting an abortion anyway?
Havent slept with him since he told me she was pregnant and WONT!!

Jesus, who do you think you are, suggesting that another woman has an abortion? I'll refrain from saying anything else, just that I feel for the poor girlfriend. You really need to learn how to mind your own business when things don't concern you!

LegacyUser

Jesus, who do you think you are, suggesting that another woman has an abortion? I'll refrain from saying anything else, just that I feel for the poor girlfriend.

+1

Why on earth do you harbour such resentment towards this woman?
Ok you may not like her, but she hasn't done anything to you!
It almost feels like you're directing all your anger at her, like shes the one at fault because she f**ked up your little f**k buddy arrangement!

i suppose you could say he was getting a prostitute for free..

And now hes getting a counselor for free too...

Find some self respect and delete his number
Don't respond to his emails/texts/calls anymore. Its that simple.

Sauve

Cut him out of your life.
Himself and his girlfriend have enough problems at the minute without a third party being involved. For everyones' sake, and your own dignity, stay out of it. Nothing good can come out of it if you stay involved.

Sauve

silkworm53 wrote: »

I don't think you should continue to have anything to do with him but you should tell him that his gf could save the two of them a lot of trouble by having an abortion.

I don't think the word abortion should be thrown about in order to 'save a lot of trouble'. It's not a decision for anybody but the parents of the unborn child.

Distorted

OP - I don't know why but I'm just getting the gut instinct that you chased this guy and now he's regretting it and that you are a bit obsessed with him and his girlfriend. I'm not really getting that high an impression of you, somehow. Why don't you just forget about them both and get a new boyfriend?

xzanti

He lied to you about not having a girlfriend.. Then you find out he does have one who's pregnant and.... you're still seeing him??

And the pregnant girlfriend is the one you slate??

You're both as bad as each other and the poor girlfriend is the one I feel sorry for here!

sbsquarepants

silkworm53 wrote: »

I don't think you should continue to have anything to do with him but you should tell him that his gf could save the two of them a lot of trouble by having an abortion.

little angel wrote: »

I did say that to him.. but think she wants to keep it.. is it hard to go about getting an abortion anyway?
Havent slept with him since he told me she was pregnant and WONT!!

WTF??
What you two should do is think before you type. For all either of you know that girl could be delighted to be having a baby and could be a fantastic mother. It's unfortunate the girl has gotten pregnant by total asshole, but that's hardly reason for strangers to suggest she gets an abortion! And little angel, you think it's rude not to answer texts but you're ok making this suggestion? I think it's time you realised your place here, you're her asshole boyfriends (former?) f'uck buddy - not her mother. You've got some f'ucked up manners let me tell you.
I'm not usually shocked by what people say on these forums but words can't describe how ridiculous these two posts are!

missmelo

OP

What age are you, this all sounds very devious and immature, are you jealous of the girlfriend being pregnant?

00112984

little angel wrote: »

I feel USED, FED UP and nearly feel its me actually having the baby..I cant concentrate sleep and dont know what to do???

Wow, just wow! Sounds like you're one of these people with an uncanny ability to make everything about her! You really are coming across very badly. Somewhere in a different county, there's a pregnant woman who (most likely) has no idea that the child's father is playing away. There's a baby who is going to be born into dysfunction and hurt. It's not all about you.

Cut contact with this guy 100%. Change your number if you have to. What he and his girlfriend (or fiancee... or wife for all you know) do about the baby has got nothing to do with you.

He strung you along and you've been burned but you don't have to put up with him any more. Put a complete stop to it, put all thoughts of his girlfriend and their baby out of your head and get on with your own life.

Just be grateful you found all of this out before things got serious between you and him.

Chinafoot

little angel wrote: »

Its just that he keeps contacting me even when I say stop and I think its rude not to reply or talk.

So it's rude not to reply to a guy who lied to both you and his girlfriend but its perfectly acceptable to have sex with the guy even after you found otu about his girlfriend. Wow. The mind absolutely boggles.

little angel wrote: »

And I do know the girlfriend met her a few times through friends of friends obviously I didnt no she was going out with the same man I was seeing but didnt like her personality at all not my cup of tea..

Eh no. You don't know this girl at all. If you *knew* her you'd have known who she was going out with for a start. I'm sure she wouldn't be a big fan of yours either if she *knew* you and what you've been doing.

little angel wrote: »

I suppose im just been harsh though on her..shouldn't even bring her into the equation.

Thats the first sensible thing you've said so far.

little angel wrote: »

Its the stupidy of the lad is my problem..i suppose you could say he was getting a prostitute for free..

Well to be completely honest with you, the person here displaying the most stupidity is yourself. You still went back there when you knew he had a girlfriend and only now that she's pregnant do you feel used? How utterly pathetic.

Cut contact and get on with your life. Find your drama elsewhere because you're dealing with an innocent woman and her unborn child here now.

little angel

Well thanks everybody for the replies some were helpful and others were just rude towards me. I no i'm at fault but there is also a man out there that is to blame too.. The last few days I had a serious think to myself and yes I was wrong very wrong and really stupid the minute I heard he had a girlfriend I should of ran like lightening..and not even think of getting anymore involved..for all I no they could be engaged..
Then when there was a baby involved that should of been the final straw..total total cut of from him..And now I do feel really really sorry for the girlfriend and unborn baby like will it be an unstable envirnoment that little one will be coming into??His Dad lying and running away with more women ?? I no its not my problem but its a pitty she doesnt no what a scumbag he really is...I'm walking away and not getting involved..
just glad he didn't get me pregnant too cause somehow I dont think it would be a happy family..
Anyway everyone will be glad to no that I am one friend less on facebook and one less phone number cloggin up my fone and blocked also from my fone and one email address I will never have to see again.And yes I did recieve msgs phone calls and mails since last posting...But did I reply..NO totally ignored his whinning that his life was a mess.. his problem now and not mine..didnt even say nice knowing you good luck with the baby..will never hopefully see him again and hopefully he will be deleted from my life forever..
So yes I have learnt my lesson going to take a month off at least away from men they bring noting but stress and trouble..And will have to hire investigator when I meet my next man to make sure there is no girlfriends/wives/fiancees involved..
I hope my for mentioned man and girlfriend have a happy life together with there new baby and maybe it might even mature him to not lie or cheat again...

Sleepy

little angel wrote: »

i suppose you could say he was getting a prostitute for free..

And I suppose the same could be said for you OP?

You had a no-string arrangement for 4 years with the guy, did you think he was suddenly going to morph into your Prince Charming and that you'd both live happily ever after?

If not, why are you so bothered about this? Cut all contact and move on, it really isn't that difficult for a woman to find someone to sleep with. Who knows, this might be the opportunity for you to find a more meaningful relationship?

missmelo

little angel wrote: »

Well thanks everybody for the replies some were helpful and others were just rude towards me. I no i'm at fault but there is also a man out there that is to blame too.. The last few days I had a serious think to myself and yes I was wrong very wrong and really stupid the minute I heard he had a girlfriend I should of ran like lightening..and not even think of getting anymore involved..for all I no they could be engaged..
Then when there was a baby involved that should of been the final straw..total total cut of from him..And now I do feel really really sorry for the girlfriend and unborn baby like will it be an unstable envirnoment that little one will be coming into??His Dad lying and running away with more women ?? I no its not my problem but its a pitty she doesnt no what a scumbag he really is...I'm walking away and not getting involved..
just glad he didn't get me pregnant too cause somehow I dont think it would be a happy family..
Anyway everyone will be glad to no that I am one friend less on facebook and one less phone number cloggin up my fone and blocked also from my fone and one email address I will never have to see again.And yes I did recieve msgs phone calls and mails since last posting...But did I reply..NO totally ignored his whinning that his life was a mess.. his problem now and not mine..didnt even say nice knowing you good luck with the baby..will never hopefully see him again and hopefully he will be deleted from my life forever..
So yes I have learnt my lesson going to take a month off at least away from men they bring noting but stress and trouble..And will have to hire investigator when I meet my next man to make sure there is no girlfriends/wives/fiancees involved..
I hope my for mentioned man and girlfriend have a happy life together with there new baby and maybe it might even mature him to not lie or cheat again...

Good stuff girl onwards and upwards, hopefully now you will meet someone that you can have a proper relationship with