Husband with alcohol problems-rehab queries

LegacyUser

My husband has a huge problem with alcohol-secret drinking, binge drinking, smuggling booze to work, even has a ban for drink-driving. He was seeing a brilliant counsellor, but bailed out as soon as the the serious stuff started. He goes to the odd AA meeting, and comes away feeling very positive, but isn't interested in taking part or getting a "sponsor" due to stupid male ego and pride. Over the summer, things kept getting worse, with him being admitted to hospital a few times due to blackouts. He knows that he has a problem and has tried to stop drinking a number of times, but only lasts a week at most.
Long story short, for a number of reasons, he's imploded over the past fortnight, and luckily some of his friends were able to get him out of a messy incident and he's now staying with them for a few days as I wasn't in the country when it happened. He's full of remorse but also seems more determined than ever to get help. He's hoping to go to a rehab place for a month, but I'm not sure that this is the right course of action, I'm not even sure why I feel like this.
Has anybody here had an experience of this type of set-up (I think he's looking at St. John of Gods)?
Has it worked straight away, or is there as high a risk of relapse as with counselling/AA/cold turkey? I can't handle many more relapses!
How much does it cost to get into one of these places?
Could I visit him, or get advice from the staff on how to help him when he gets out?
Any recommendations of where to go?

Sorry if this post is a bit rambly, just hard to put things into words!

Nevyn

http://www.stjohnofgodhospital.ie/alcohol.html

Assessment

Prior to admission to the Unit, patients are assessed to determine their personal needs. A psychological assessment, where it is deemed appropriate, is conducted during or after the four-week programme.
Treatment: In-patient Care

Following full medical examination and detoxification, if necessary, patients are admitted to the RPU. The Programme is of 28 days duration, consisting of group and didactic sessions. These allow the patient to share feelings and fears, gain insight and get support on how to manage their addiction, particularly in the future.
Family Day:

The purpose of Family Day is threefold:

* Feedback for the patient as to how the problem has affected the family
* Group and individual help and support for families to cope with their feelings and attitudes while enabling them to verbalise and share fears and anxieties
* Educational input through the use of videos, discussion groups and an introduction to Al Anon and Al Ateen

Aftercare:

Following residential treatment, all patients are offered a two year Aftercare Programme, where they attend group therapy sessions on a weekly basis. Individual, couple, family and marital therapy can be arranged on referral.

http://www.stjohnofgodhospital.ie/patients-family-information.html

There is plenty of info on the site

VISITING
Family and friends play an important part in our treatment programmes.
Visitors are always encouraged to come to the hospital. All visitors
must report to the nurses’ station on arrival. Patients
attending certain programmes may not be available at the scheduled
visiting hours. Please check the ward programme.
Visiting hours are as follows:
Monday - Friday
4.00pm - 5.30pm and 6.30pm - 8.00pm
Please note that visiting may at times be restricted to members of the
immediate family.

.

But what about you? what help and supports have you got put in place to help you through all of this? Do you know about Al Anon? It is a support group for those who are living with someone who's alcholism impacts on them and thier life.

http://www.al-anon-ireland.org/meetings.htm

Cheap Thrills!

+1 to Al-anon.

The best way you can help him is to totally back off and let him crash and burn himself. Don't be tempted to pick up the pieces after him each time as he will never change and plus it's very energy draining and futile.

He may never change anyway and you've got to be ready for that and start preparing to get on with your own life without him.

LegacyUser

Oh wow, thanks for all that info!!! Had a look on their site but didn't see any of that!
Looked into going to Alanon at some stage over the weekend but the meeting times in my area were a bit awkward (10am on a Saturday morning when I had my first chance of a lie-in in a month?!), but I might go later in the week.
Again, thank you Thaedyal

LegacyUser

I think that I WAS picking up pieces for him, without even knowing it, because he fell apart completely over the past few weeks when I was abroad, couldn't handle being alone in the evenings at all. I also realised while away that I can manage just fine on my own, my confidence has taken an awful battering over the last few years, but I feel much stronger now. Hopefully I can use this to support him, but I also know that if my support gets thrown back at me, I don't need to stay for fear of not having him around.

anfield bound

i'm off to john of gods today at 4.30,they've been really helpful so far.your husband sounds like he's in the same boat as me,major black outs and male pride wise...not saying this is what you should do but the thing that got me to finally do it was the fact that my wife made it pretty clear (without directly saying it) that our marriage would be over if i didn't sort myself out...haven't touched a drop in 3 weeks and feeling pretty good.best of luck to you both anyway,sure i might see him in there!

Reesy

anfield bound wrote: »

i'm off to john of gods today at 4.30,they've been really helpful so far.your husband sounds like he's in the same boat as me,major black outs and male pride wise...not saying this is what you should do but the thing that got me to finally do it was the fact that my wife made it pretty clear (without directly saying it) that our marriage would be over if i didn't sort myself out...haven't touched a drop in 3 weeks and feeling pretty good.best of luck to you both anyway,sure i might see him in there!

Good luck Anfield Bound.