I've never had sex with a woman.

LegacyUser

I'm 23, I am in college studying a post-graduate, I'm great academically, I'm really into sport, I work out a lot and I have lots of friends but I have never had a relationship with a girl in my life.
I have kissed a few girls once or twice when I had a few pints but I have never had sex, never had a girlfriend and I don't know how to talk to women.
Could someone please tell me what to do?
When I'm out with my friends I never go near women in nightclubs.
They've noticed and they make a laugh out of it.
One of the lads I'm sharing my house with is having sex with a different girl every week.
All my friends have girlfriends and I am finding myself really left out.
I don't like going out anymore and it's really getting me down.
I tried talking some of the girls out on my course and tried talking to other girls on the university campus but when I got around to asking them out they said no or told me they had boyfriends or that they just wanted me as a friend.
I masturbate a lot and I look up a lot of porn because I can't get a girl.
Am I going to be a virgin for the rest of my life?

Sauve

Dude, relax!
You're only 23, I know that might seem like a big deal but honestly, it's not.
If meeting girls at a nightclub doesn't appeal to you, then look elsewhere.
Can't say nightclubs ever appealed to me for meeting guys.
But keep asking girls out, just because a few turned you down shouldnt put you off, there are plenty out there who will say yes, you just need to find them.
And as for the virginity thing, it'll happen in its own good time. Don't rush it so much that you'll end up regretting doing it just for the sake of it. With someone you don't really care about.
Best of luck OP, chin up

Caoimhín

Im going to get hammered for this, but here goes;

Buddy, you have whats called a "duck" That is when a footballer has just been bought for a large sum but seem to score despite his talent.

Now I dont know the fancy "psychological" word for this particular difficulty but it seems to me that you have a sort of a "mental block" when it comes to the ladies.

My solution you may ask? Well thats simple, and again, i may get told off for this.... You need to get this "duck" out of the way, once you have done this the pussy will flow in. So what you need to do is get yourself a lady of the night/easy virtue.

Its very easy, get laid (no shame in paying for it) and off you go, youll be like a new man.

LighterGuy

Nice post Caoimhín (its a realistic post, no "pc" crap you can hear on here)

Op,
I would agree with Caoimhin that you have a mental block. And dont worry about having one. Pulling girls is a skill you learn. No different from riding a bike or learning to drive. You just havent developed yours. And dont worry about being a virgin as well when you think about trying to chat girls up - heck guys who've had various partners can still be crap with women because they havent developed the skill properly themselves. (hey, look at me, i've been with my share of women and i dont still have that skill down)


Caoimhin suggested in going to a prostitute. I would strongly be against that tho. Your first time should be that you pulled a girl and she wanted to do the deed rather than going to a brasser (whats going to give you more confidence when you think about it)

Although I think online dating is a load of bol..... well you get the idea. You should join a dating site. Heck, lets be honest, alot of users on there are just looking for one thing.
I just think you need to build yourself up. First step is to get laid (it would build confidence - break a barrier etc)

Hamiltonion

I'd totally agree about the mental block, had 2 long term gfs and a few flings, but all flings involved alcohol. Back on single street now and I definitely have to learn to pull again, messed up quite a few chances in the past month!:(

magneticimpulse

Relax...lots of people are virgins around 21 or 22 years old. And even older. Big deal...think of it like picking your nose?? Would you make this much fuss about wanting to pick your nose??


Anyway chill. Im 29 and had a few short on/off relationships. And now its back to single land. I used to see all my friends hooking up when I was 21 and in long term relationships. Then they all got the "7 year itch" and all split up and still cant sell the houses that are still on the housing market 4 years latter and now they want to buy houses with new people but cant because they are stilled tied into mortgages with the ex's.

The way I see it, I envied this people and thought they had it all. But in the end i dont have as much baggage as them.

Girls or at least a long term girlfriend will far prefer a guy who has not shagged everyone!! The guys who shag a girl every week will find it hard to settle down with one girl. Whereas the liklihood is that you will be more boyfriend/husband material.

Theres plenty of girls like you who are too shy to approach guys. You just have to join a meetup.com group or some sort of activity that doesnt involve the pub or hobby you like so you can get chatting to some girls.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the advice guys but none of it is any help whatsoever.
I've been told 10,000 times 'to be yourself' and 'relax' and all that stuff but it doesn't work.
When I tried talking to girls and they just aren't attracted to me.
I would never use a prostitute - those women are forced into the sex industry so that's basically rape so I'd rather be a virgin than go down that road.
I need to know what to say and do to get woman.
I've watch my housemate in nightclubs and he just knows exactly what so say to get a girl he just met to kiss him and have sex with him.
I asked him how he does it and you told me 'to be myself' and 'relax.'
That's no good and far too vague.
I don't need to keep my chin, I need to know how other guys do it, step by step.
When you meet a girl how do you chat her up?
How do you get a kiss?
How you turn a kiss into sex?
That's what I want to know.
I'm 23 and I don't want to end up a 40 year old virgin.

I am a friend

OP, why dont you just even for the next 2 or 3 months try to stop looking at each girl as a potential conquest and just see them as a potential friend. Girls can sense (typically) when they are being viewed solely as means to an end and in most cases its a put off. Try to get used to just speaking to girls on a day to day basis and then see, after a few months if you find somsone you fancy and move things forward.

There is nothing wrong with being a virgin at your age... TBH, I would prefer to meet a guy who does not have as large number of 'scores' under his belt..

LegacyUser

I am a friend wrote: »

OP, why dont you just even for the next 2 or 3 months try to stop looking at each girl as a potential conquest and just see them as a potential friend. Girls can sense (typically) when they are being viewed solely as means to an end and in most cases its a put off. Try to get used to just speaking to girls on a day to day basis and then see, after a few months if you find somsone you fancy and move things forward.

There is nothing wrong with being a virgin at your age... TBH, I would prefer to meet a guy who does not have as large number of 'scores' under his belt..

I already said I tried that it didn't work.
I don't care if there is nothing wrong with being a virgin at 23 because I don't want to be a virgin anymore.
I want to have lots of girlfriends but I have no idea how other guys do it so I am asking for help.
As far as I can see getting a woman is like a conquest - being a nice guy isn't working, making friends isn't working and trying to get to know them isn't working - because as soon as I try to become more than friends the draw bridges come up.
I want someone to show me how they got a girlfriend and how they persuaded her to have sex with them.
How do you do it.
It's driving me crazy that there are all these gorgeous women around me all the time and I can't have sex with any of them

LegacyUser

Hey OP, i know you think saying "relax" doesn't help but it kinda of does. Most of the times when you pull it's when you least expect it or aren't looking for it and the same for sex. When you head out with the lads, just go out for the craic, chat to a few girls if the opportunity arises and don't think about scoring them. If you constantly think about kissing a girl while talking to her, it won't happen. This is the mental block because you keep putting more pressure on yourself and its like women can smell it!

Couple of tips on how I'd like to be hit on (I'm a girl). Obviously it wont go exactly like this but just as an example:
-don't ask if they have a boyfriend
-don't talk about relationships, the things you like in a girl etc
-don't bring up sex drugs or rock and roll
-don't be transparent
-try to seem approachable (some guys seem to think that constantly looking at a girl or smiling at them all the time makes them seem friendly and approachable: it doesn't, it's kinda creeepy)
-Preparatory work: when you do approach a girl, make it more of a casual passing by thing, and make sure to get a smile out of them before you leave, then go back to them later. It's horrible when a guy comes up to you and just puts you on the spot.
-If you can't get the preparatory work done, don't bother with them. Move on.
-After the preparatory work, let her stew for a while, go back at a time when she's not in the middle of talking to someone else, have a chat, be a bit touchy feely (not in a sexual way, just something simple and within a context to break down the personal space boundaries a bit).
-Carry on naturally from there.

LegacyUser

true-or-false wrote: »

Couple of tips on how I'd like to be hit on (I'm a girl). Obviously it wont go exactly like this but just as an example:
-don't ask if they have a boyfriend
-don't talk about relationships, the things you like in a girl etc
-don't bring up sex drugs or rock and roll
-don't be transparent
-try to seem approachable (some guys seem to think that constantly looking at a girl or smiling at them all the time makes them seem friendly and approachable: it doesn't, it's kinda creeepy)
-Preparatory work: when you do approach a girl, make it more of a casual passing by thing, and make sure to get a smile out of them before you leave, then go back to them later. It's horrible when a guy comes up to you and just puts you on the spot.
-If you can't get the preparatory work done, don't bother with them. Move on.
-After the preparatory work, let her stew for a while, go back at a time when she's not in the middle of talking to someone else, have a chat, be a bit touchy feely (not in a sexual way, just something simple and within a context to break down the personal space boundaries a bit).
-Carry on naturally from there.

Carry on how? I don't need vague advice - I need specific information.

You meet a girl, you get talking to her etc what then? How do you know she wants you to kiss her????
How do you persuade her to go on a date? How do you tell her you want to be more than friends? How do you make progress from there to getting her to agree to go back to your place and how do you persuade her to let you touch her breasts or give her oral or have sex with her?
I need that kind of advice.
I need to know how to start from ground zero and go all the way to having sex with her.
My housemate meets girls all the time - complete strangers and ends up having sex with them.
I want to know how to do that.
I don't want vague stuff like 'carry on naturally from there' or 'don't be transparent.'
What do you mean by 'preparatory' work?
What does this mean? 'be a bit touchy feely (not in a sexual way, just something simple and within a context to break down the personal space boundaries a bit).'
I want someone to show me each step by step.
Give me specific information not vague stuff like my friends already gave me.

LegacyUser

I want someone to show me how they got a girlfriend and how they persuaded her to have sex with them.
How do you do it.

I've watch my housemate in nightclubs and he just knows exactly what so say to get a girl he just met to kiss him and have sex with him.

I need to know how other guys do it, step by step.

OK OP i'm going to be harsh but i think you need to hear the truth tbh...(26 yr old, attractive woman here btw)
Even from what you've written you sound incredibly unattractive to me, you are the type of man i would avoid like the plague on a night out, why?
Your attitude towards woman is well downright creepy and sleasy, scarily desperate and needy and a bit sickening to be frank.
Women are not just objects for men "to have sex with", we can't be persuaded into having sex with a man. We have sex with men because we want to. Because we find the man attractive, because he has something to offer us. And for most men that works the other way aswell, for you however you seem to think a woman is just a pair of tits and a vagina, and if you say the right words she'll just strip naked and spread.

being a nice guy isn't working, making friends isn't working and trying to get to know them isn't working - because as soon as I try to become more than friends the draw bridges come up.

lol why do you think this isn't working OP? I'll tell you why, because you're using the "making friends", "getting to know them" tactic as a ploy to get them to sleep with you! You don't actually have any interest in these women other than them being a means to get sex?
Do you think women are F***ing stupid or something??! (and it really sounds like you do from what you've written). We know when a guy is just trying to get into our pants ffs!

You seem to think a girlfriend = a woman who will let you have sex with her
You are so wrong.

So why are all your friends pulling women OP and you aren't?
Because they have something to offer these women, they don't treat them like prizes or objects which can be won. Your friends treat women as equals, and women respect that.

I asked him how he does it and you told me 'to be myself' and 'relax.'

Your friend is right on the money here, when hes talking to women he's not trying to "persuade" her into doing anything. He's talking to these women without any ulterior motive, he has something to offer them, his personality.

What have you got to offer a woman OP ?
not much by the sounds of it, any good points you may have (Sporty, academic etc) are negated by your desperate need to have sex. No woman wants a man who doesn't respect her, or view her as anything more than a glorified sex toy.

I need to know how other guys do it

When I tried talking to girls and they just aren't attracted to me.

They can do it because their attitude towards woman is the complete opposite of yours. Their attitude towards woman is attractive to women.
Yours is not.

If you ever want any hope of finding a woman, wake up and realise its 2010. Start treating women with respect and as your equal, instead of intellectually inferior creatures who can be "tricked" into putting out.

You sound like a cave man to be honest.

liah

lovesick777 wrote: »

I already said I tried that it didn't work.
I don't care if there is nothing wrong with being a virgin at 23 because I don't want to be a virgin anymore.
I want to have lots of girlfriends but I have no idea how other guys do it so I am asking for help.
As far as I can see getting a woman is like a conquest - being a nice guy isn't working, making friends isn't working and trying to get to know them isn't working - because as soon as I try to become more than friends the draw bridges come up.
I want someone to show me how they got a girlfriend and how they persuaded her to have sex with them.
How do you do it.
It's driving me crazy that there are all these gorgeous women around me all the time and I can't have sex with any of them

For one, stop looking at us as "prizes" and "conquests" and you might actually get somewhere.

For another, I'd reckon you're coming off as desperate, a doormat, and bitter to any women you're trying to pick up, judging by the way you're talking about women. The fact that you want to "persuade" someone into having sex with you is a bit frightening. What's so bad about coming to a mutual agreement where neither party bull****s or tries to trick the other into bed? If someone ever tried to "persuade" me into having sex with them they'd be out on their ear.

I'd steer clear of women altogether until you get those issues sorted out. You have some messed up views of girls.

LegacyUser

liah wrote: »

For one, stop looking at us as "prizes" and "conquests" and you might actually get somewhere.

For another, I'd reckon you're coming off as desperate, a doormat, and bitter to any women you're trying to pick up, judging by the way you're talking about women. The fact that you want to "persuade" someone into having sex with you is a bit frightening. What's so bad about coming to a mutual agreement where neither party bull****s or tries to trick the other into bed? If someone ever tried to "persuade" me into having sex with them they'd be out on their ear.

I'd steer clear of women altogether until you get those issues sorted out. You have some messed up views of girls.

I came onto boards.ie because I want someone to tell me how to get a woman to have sex with me not to be shouted out.
What is so frightening about asking straight out how to get a woman to have sex with me?
Persuasion or 'mutual agreement' whatever you want to call it - how do you get a woman to have sex???
That is the issue I wanted sorted out.
I'm desperate because I have been listening to people telling me 'to be myself' 'relax' and 'be natural' without explaining how to do it and without explaining to me how that is going to get a girl to have sex with me.
I want someone to give me proper instructions.

magneticimpulse

Having you tried dating websites? Again these are not to be used to get sex. But it will give you experience in talking to girls and getting to know girls. Girls run away from sleazy, sex driven men who see women as objects just to have sex with. No woman would ever be up for that. Also at least go along to meetup.com Its a great way to talk to women in a non sleazy way and get practice at talking to women.

You might want to think about moving out as it sounds like your housemate is giving you the wrong impression about the normal way men behave with women. Unless he looks like Ken or David Beckham, I seriously dont know how he is attracting that many women. Its normally nothing that guys say to get women to have a ONS. Most women dont go out looking for ONS (of course a few do...but definitely not all). If anything if it does happen they might be just completey wasted...in which case its never good to take advantage of a woman in that state. He also might have very low standards and pick anyone at all.

If you keep acting the way you are in the threads, no woman would want to sleep with you. Most women would prefer a boyfriend and have regular sex with one man, then to be treated like a sex object for 1 night. Seriously I could 100 % say I would never want to sleep with your housemate no matter what he said to me. Im just not that kinda One night stand girl. Theres lots of girls that would love an educated guy like yourself who doesnt sleep around with lots of women...so why are you trying to act like a sleaze bag thats horny and up for everything.

liah

lovesick777 wrote: »

I came onto boards.ie because I want someone to tell me how to get a woman to have sex with me not to be shouted out.
What is so frightening about asking straight out how to get a woman to have sex with me?
Persuasion or 'mutual agreement' whatever you want to call it - how do you get a woman to have sex???
That is the issue I wanted sorted out.
I'm desperate because I have been listening to people telling me 'to be myself' 'relax' and 'be natural' without explaining how to do it and without explaining to me how that is going to get a girl to have sex with me.
I want someone to give me proper instructions.

I hate to break it to you, but no matter what anyone says there's no manual for this stuff. Life experience never comes with instructions.

If your only goal is to have sex, and you refuse to see a prostitute, then you are not going to have much luck unless you stop getting so defensive when people tell you to be yourself. There's a reason they're telling you that: it works.

The problem you seem to have is that it doesn't work fast enough. If so-- tough. If you want a lay, then yeah, change yourself, become a user and a dick and what amounts to a horrible, selfish person. But if you want to find "that" girl (and I have a feeling you do), you're not going to find her by adhering to any set of instructions.

You have to chill out and if you see a girl you like, go up and say hi, make conversation about something innocuous and not sexually charged, then ask her to go for lunch or coffee. Just be you. If they're drawing up bridges, they're not the right girl for you. It's that simple.

It might not be as fast as you want, but it's the only thing that will ever work and land you with an amazing person.

LegacyUser

magneticimpulse wrote: »

Having you tried dating websites? Again these are not to be used to get sex. But it will give you experience in talking to girls and getting to know girls. Girls run away from sleazy, sex driven men who see women as objects just to have sex with. No woman would ever be up for that. Also at least go along to meetup.com Its a great way to talk to women in a non sleazy way and get practice at talking to women.

My housemate is a sleazy, sex driven man who sees women as objects and he gets more women than all my friends put together.
The nice guy thing is not working - girl I have tried to get to know don't want to have sex with me. They keep telling me I'm really sweet and then tell me to 'relax' and 'be myself' while their boyfriends are really rude and treat them badly. My friends are not rude and don't treat women badly but they just have this amazing ability.They are able to get women as if they have a magic power. They go to nightclubs and women are literally all over them.
I know for a fact that dating sites are just a money racket - most of the profiles are fakes with girls photos taken off facebook. I might be rubbish with women but I'm not a total loser.

You might want to think about moving out as it sounds like your housemate is giving you the wrong impression about the normal way men behave with women. Unless he looks like Ken or David Beckham, I seriously dont know how he is attracting that many women. Its normally nothing that guys say to get women to have a ONS. Most women dont go out looking for ONS (of course a few do...but definitely not all). If anything if it does happen they might be just completey wasted...in which case its never good to take advantage of a woman in that state. He also might have very low standards and pick anyone at all.

I am six foot, I work out and I play rugby.
My house mate is a head shorter than me, he's a science geek, is skinny and wears glasses but he dates gorgeous women. He meets girls all over the place and has sex with them in his room.He doesn't go for drunk girls. He talks to girls on campus during the middle of the day.He just starts talking to them - like he has this formula - and they lap it up, he gets their numbers and he has a string of options for the week.
He says I'm much better good looking than him and should be able to get a woman.

If you keep acting the way you are in the threads, no woman would want to sleep with you. Most women would prefer a boyfriend and have regular sex with one man, then to be treated like a sex object for 1 night. Seriously I could 100 % say I would never want to sleep with your housemate no matter what he said to me. Im just not that kinda One night stand girl. Theres lots of girls that would love an educated guy like yourself who doesnt sleep around with lots of women...so why are you trying to act like a sleaze bag thats horny and up for everything.

I know I am a nice educated guy who doesn't sleep with women - women don't show any interest in me sexually at all. That's the whole problem.
My housemate has sex with girls all the time who are up for a one nightstand.
So everything you have just written is completely unhelpful.

I go out regularly with a group of friends from rugby and from my science course who are wizards with women. None of them are sleazebags at all. I got to know them gradually and tried to get them to tell me how they do it. None of them were able to tell me except to say 'act natural' and 'be yourself'. I am being myself and it doesn't work. They say I am a great guy and they can't understand how I am still a virgin.
I don't know how to talk to women, how to get a kiss unless I'm very lucky and I would not know how to turn that kiss into a date or sex.
So thanks for your advice but you are not helping me at all.

LegacyUser

liah wrote: »

I hate to break it to you, but no matter what anyone says there's no manual for this stuff. Life experience never comes with instructions.

If your only goal is to have sex, and you refuse to see a prostitute, then you are not going to have much luck unless you stop getting so defensive when people tell you to be yourself. There's a reason they're telling you that: it works.

The problem you seem to have is that it doesn't work fast enough. If so-- tough. If you want a lay, then yeah, change yourself, become a user and a dick and what amounts to a horrible, selfish person. But if you want to find "that" girl (and I have a feeling you do), you're not going to find her by adhering to any set of instructions.

You have to chill out and if you see a girl you like, go up and say hi, make conversation about something innocuous and not sexually charged, then ask her to go for lunch or coffee. Just be you. If they're drawing up bridges, they're not the right girl for you. It's that simple.

It might not be as fast as you want, but it's the only thing that will ever work and land you with an amazing person.

Your advice is no help whatsoever.

I already do chill out and I do talk to girl that I see and go up and say hi. I even make conversation about something innocuous. When I ask girls to lunch or coffee they say no everytime. I am being me. It's not working. That's what I am trying to tell you.
What is wrong is I don't know what other guys do to turn an innocuous conversation into a kiss and a date and sex.
I've seen my friends chat up girls they just met and in only a few minutes kiss them, get their number. My housemate does it all the time. He just seems to know what to do without even thinking about it. What he does is almost like hypnotism.
Everytime I've tried to do something about my problem, I've run right into a brick wall because I didn't know what to do next after making friendly conversation.
If somebody could show me how to go from A to Z step by step my problems would be over.

trebor28

lovesick777 wrote: »

I came onto boards.ie because I want someone to tell me how to get a woman to have sex with me not to be shouted out.
What is so frightening about asking straight out how to get a woman to have sex with me?
Persuasion or 'mutual agreement' whatever you want to call it - how do you get a woman to have sex???
That is the issue I wanted sorted out.
I'm desperate because I have been listening to people telling me 'to be myself' 'relax' and 'be natural' without explaining how to do it and without explaining to me how that is going to get a girl to have sex with me.
I want someone to give me proper instructions.

the above, to me, is one reason you are not getting any!
you are probably carrying that attitude around with you on a night out and its sending out all the wrong signals.

there is no formula for anyone to get sex, unless you pay for it of course.

there is the saying which you have probably heard "how do you eat an elephant?, one bite at a time."
you are looking at the elephant and trying to fit your mouth around it and are unsuccessful and this is frustrating you.

as you have heard a million times already, you need to relax, be confident in your own skin, smile, and be a bit "bould".

you said you have tried "talking to girls", what are you saying??
talking about the weather, work, how much the club smell of puke isnt going to get a girl to sleep with you.

half your problem to could be the type of girl you are going for.
just because you fancy a girl doesnt mean she will fancy you.
no matter how good looking you are you need to work your way up from the bottom.

you need to start small, one bite at a time, and build up to it.

LegacyUser

lovesick777 wrote: »

I want someone to tell me how to get a woman to have sex with me not to be shouted out.

What is so frightening about asking straight out how to get a woman to have sex with me?

how do you get a woman to have sex???

I'm desperate

me how that is going to get a girl to have sex with me.

I want someone to give me proper instructions.

I hope that the same attitude you are displaying on this forum is not your approach when it comes to chatting with women! No woman likes pushy desperate guys so, you want to know how then?

1. find a party or club/pub where women of suitable age are present.
2. casually scan the room for hotties...
3. Notice nice girl looking your way, make eye contact with said girl and smile back warmly..
4. Casually walk up to girl, strike up conversation, make her laugh. The content of the conversation is not important, what is important is the conversation flows, get her to talk about herself, what woman doesn't like that!
5. Once talking for about an hour, say you have to go to your friends and get her number.
6. casually text girl next day saying was nice to meet her and you hope you can get together soon, say Thursday for a drink/coffee.
7. Meet with girl, bring her on some further dates, get to know her.
8. After a few nice dates to the pub etc, suggest going back to hers/yours.
9. Let the magic begin!
10. Now you have reached level 1, and the "elephant is off your back"!

LegacyUser

trebor28 wrote: »

the above, to me, is one reason you are not getting any!
you are probably carrying that attitude around with you on a night out and its sending out all the wrong signals.

What signals? How does my attitude send out signals? Telepathy only exists in science fiction last time I heard.

there is no formula for anyone to get sex, unless you pay for it of course.

So it just happens by magic does it?
There must a pattern of behaviour that I can imitate and this will make a woman want to have sex with me.
That is surely what every guy who has ever had sex has figured out.
I want to be told how they do it.

there is the saying which you have probably heard "how do you eat an elephant?, one bite at a time."
you are looking at the elephant and trying to fit your mouth around it and are unsuccessful and this is frustrating you.

So how to do you eat the elephant one bite at a time? Break it down for me so I can understand would you? Be specific. I do A then I do B then I do C etc etc.
That's what I need to know.

as you have heard a million times already, you need to relax, be confident in your own skin, smile, and be a bit "bould".

you said you have tried "talking to girls", what are you saying??
talking about the weather, work, how much the club smell of puke isnt going to get a girl to sleep with you.

Don't be ridiculous. Of course I don't talk about the smell of puke in the nightclub.
The guys who chat up women and get sex must know what to talk to women about the right way.
So again. I keep asking again and again on this thread.
What do I talk about??

half your problem to could be the type of girl you are going for.
just because you fancy a girl doesnt mean she will fancy you.
no matter how good looking you are you need to work your way up from the bottom.

That's rubbish. I see guys all the time in clubs who see a girl they like go up and chat to her, kiss her and take her home for sex. So they must have a system that works. That's the only logical explanation.
What do you mean 'need to work your way up from the bottom'? That's very vague.

you need to start small, one bite at a time, and build up to it.

So where do I start. Tell me how to do it.
That's what I came on to boards.ie to find out.

Everyone responding to this thread keeps saying the same stuff but they aren't telling me what I should be doing.

Distorted

lovesick777 wrote: »

I came onto boards.ie because I want someone to tell me how to get a woman to have sex with me not to be shouted out.
What is so frightening about asking straight out how to get a woman to have sex with me?
Persuasion or 'mutual agreement' whatever you want to call it - how do you get a woman to have sex???
That is the issue I wanted sorted out.
I'm desperate because I have been listening to people telling me 'to be myself' 'relax' and 'be natural' without explaining how to do it and without explaining to me how that is going to get a girl to have sex with me.
I want someone to give me proper instructions.

OP - are you actually attracted to women? If so, presumably you have seen or even met a few women who seem in some way special to you. ie you get that adrenalin-butterflies in the stomach feeling when you meet them. You can tell by their body language when you speak to them whether they are attracted to you or not - many things but most common are longer eye contact than normal, natural smiling, etc.. When you are in close proximity and comfortable with each other, you may want to try stroking the girl's face or her hair. If she doesn't pull back you might then lean in for a kiss.

As for talking about sex in terms of conquests, yes, it is very off-putting to a woman to think a man has this attitude. Women are equally human beings and as such, theres got to be something in it for them to want to have sex with a person. Such as finding them attractive, pleasant and fun to be with, chemistry, etc..

Ickle Magoo

OP, The purpose of this forum is not to provide you with a step-by-step guide to "getting women to have sex with you".