Is it possible to move on from friends?

LegacyUser

Hi all I'm really confused about this and I'd love to hear other peoples opinions, I suppose I've an idea but would like to verify that I'm right! Here goes....
I met this man about 4 years ago through work and we were both single so we started hanging out together and one thing led to another but he said he didn't want a relationship which was fine until a month later he started going out with someone, I was a bit hurt but didn't want anything more at the time so we stayed friends and a fee months later I also started a new relationship.

We kept in touch and would meet for coffee, send texts and talk on the phone a few times a month and from time to time he said he regretted we hadn't made a go of it when we had the chance, his relationship had ended but mine was going well so I brushed it off.
So after a while my relationship ran into trouble and I told him about it, he came over the following day and told me he'd always liked me and really wanted to give it a chance so we did. He started to call over late at night to stay over but didn't ever want anything more until I ended it.
A couple of months ago he begged me to give him another chance and said he really wanted to try it properly but it ended up the same way!

So any opinions/advice? I've told him it's over and he asked to stay friends but I think the whole thing will prob start again! Should I give him a chance but say that it's all or nothing or should I leave the friendship completely and not have the temptation!

Wow that turned into a very long post so thank you for reading this far, I think writing it all down has helped clarify it to me!

Adelie

Well, you've given him 3 chances already. I think you'd be better off cutting him out of your life and moving on so he can't mess with your head anymore. It doesn't sound like it would ever be a healthy friendship let alone relationship. He sounds like he has no idea what he wants. That or he's just an asshole. There are loads of far less complicated potential friends out there!

wasper

Confused and lost wrote: »

Hi all I'm really confused about this and I'd love to hear other peoples opinions, I suppose I've an idea but would like to verify that I'm right! Here goes....
I met this man about 4 years ago through work and we were both single so we started hanging out together and one thing led to another but he said he didn't want a relationship which was fine until a month later he started going out with someone, I was a bit hurt but didn't want anything more at the time so we stayed friends and a fee months later I also started a new relationship.

We kept in touch and would meet for coffee, send texts and talk on the phone a few times a month and from time to time he said he regretted we hadn't made a go of it when we had the chance, his relationship had ended but mine was going well so I brushed it off.
So after a while my relationship ran into trouble and I told him about it, he came over the following day and told me he'd always liked me and really wanted to give it a chance so we did. He started to call over late at night to stay over but didn't ever want anything more until I ended it.
A couple of months ago he begged me to give him another chance and said he really wanted to try it properly but it ended up the same way!

So any opinions/advice? I've told him it's over and he asked to stay friends but I think the whole thing will prob start again! Should I give him a chance but say that it's all or nothing or should I leave the friendship completely and not have the temptation!

Wow that turned into a very long post so thank you for reading this far, I think writing it all down has helped clarify it to me!

My rule of thumb is not to re visit the old haunts. What I mean is he ditched you for another girl after a month. He started noticing you again as a possible GF once his relationship was over.
I think you are hesitating as well because you don't to keep repeating the old record.
I say move on & minimise contacts & stop letting him in late in the evening. He will wear you down until he gets his way & then probably will lose interest again.

seenitall

wasper wrote: »

He will wear you down until he gets his way & then probably will lose interest again.

^^^^^^ This, OP. Play the fool no more!

Best wishes.