I was openly discussed at a meeting I was not present for,unable to def myself

LegacyUser

Hi

I really hope somebody can discuss this with me, i'm highly distressed at the moment and I my anxiety has shot through the roof.

I left my job during the summer to return to college and I have never been happier. Today I received a call from a good friend at my last job and she said that at a conference the team openly mocked me in front of everyone. I don't know what I have done to deserve this. They also said I sent pictures to a team member on my work phone. This is untrue, my work phone had a wap fault and i was never able to sent mms. I did bluetooth a picture of a dog to my personal phone, but thats it.

I have no way of defending myself and im absolutely horrified that this was discussed and laughed at, at a businees conference for a highly reputable company.

I want to confront the ringleader but I wasnt there and Im afraid. This is very distressing to me, and I am in tears right now.

CliffHuxtabel

OP theres several pieces of information not included in your post that maybe you can expand upon :

In what way did those people mock you?
What did they say according to your friend?
Do you plan on going back to the company after college?
Whats the big deal about sending pictures on your work phone?

If it was the case that those guys just made fun of you then theres not much you can do really. People can be making fun of you all the time behind your back without you knowing it. If your friend didn't give you that very helpful (:rolleyes:) information you would have been none the wiser for it. All it means is that your former colleagues are cowardly people who can only belittle someone else from a distance.

Perhaps if its the case that you are going to return to the company then that will complicate matters but you said yourself that you've never been happier away from that job.

I can understand some of your anxiety (trust me I've been ridiculed behind my back and to my face many times) but based on your post its clear that those guys are losers and you've moved on to better things.

It would be helpful though if you could provide more information.

Taltos

Verydistressed wrote: »

Hi

I really hope somebody can discuss this with me, i'm highly distressed at the moment and I my anxiety has shot through the roof.

I left my job during the summer to return to college and I have never been happier. Today I received a call from a good friend at my last job and she said that at a conference the team openly mocked me in front of everyone. I don't know what I have done to deserve this. They also said I sent pictures to a team member on my work phone. This is untrue, my work phone had a wap fault and i was never able to sent mms. I did bluetooth a picture of a dog to my personal phone, but thats it.

I have no way of defending myself and im absolutely horrified that this was discussed and laughed at, at a businees conference for a highly reputable company.

I want to confront the ringleader but I wasnt there and Im afraid. This is very distressing to me, and I am in tears right now.

OP - here's the thing - who cares...
Seriously - you have left these people behind, you have moved on with your life and it is full of opportunities right now.
You will always - ALWAYS meet people who do not out grow the school yard mentality. Best advice I can give is to let it wash over you.
Don't waste any time or energy on these wasters. It is more of a reflection on them, the company culture and management that their bitching session was not called to a stop.

Put them out of your mind and just get on with the great new life ahead of you. Maybe you haven't met folk like this before - but the best thing to do is to learn how to just ignore - by responding / defending you just give credence to their gossip mongering...

marxcoo

This is very frustrating but the best thing you can probably do is forget about it and move on. To be honest your friend should have prob never brought it up! Everyone discusses everyone else and while it is completely unprofessional for this to happen in such a context, to follow it up will prob cause you more stress. Unless of course you plan on returning to that job- in that case you might want to clear the air. Otherwise, you're moving on to bigger and better things, let the childish antics up to the lesser people.

seamus

If you feel that lies were told about you which would tarnish your reputation, then contact a solicitor with a view to suing the company/individuals involved for defamation.

IrishEyes19

seamus wrote: »

If you feel that lies were told about you which would tarnish your reputation, then contact a solicitor with a view to suing the company/individuals involved for defamation.

That is all well and good. But condsidering she wasn't there, Seamus, her friend is liable to get some brow beating if it was ever discovered who told her. Obviously two wrongs dont make a right and the OP shouldnt be talked about, however, sometimes in these situations the best thing we can do is be the bigger person and move on from them.

LegacyUser

Thanks for all the replies guys,

I spoke to another member of the team today, and she said that they insinuated that I was sending pictures of myself to a work collegue, she said they insinuated that I was having a relationship with this person. I have a partner and am very happy and have never even thought about looking elsewhere. Anyway a few of the other girls discussed how they thought i had a relationship with this person and laughed and joked at me, but she didn't give specifics. Which was frustrating.

When I heard this last night I was devastated, I would never hurt my partner. The thing is, these people were very nasty to me while I was there, so I have no idea why I was shocked. There was a few good people who I became friends with and because he didn't join in, in their bitching I reckon that is where it came from. I have no intention of returning to that rat race so thankfully I can forget about them for good.

I slept on it and woke up with a sense of fcuk them!!! I spent my day with wonderful people who reinforced the fact that i made the right decision changing my career so late in life. Thank again for all the replies, and kind words

love
Notdistressedanymore xxxx

IrishEyes19

Good for you, OP, they sound like busy bodies who have nothing better to do with their time than gossip. Glad that it worked out for you alone. As you said, to hell with them. People like this dont even have a personal reason to dislike others, once their target leaves or gets over it, they find another scapegoat to bully. Best of luck to you!!!

marxcoo

Good for you, sounds like you made the right decision moving on to where you are now. People like that will always be like that, they will find some new unfortunate prey soon enough and you will be forgotten. Mean Girls...

Sauve

One word OP -

Jealousy.