too late to ask her out?

Paco Rodriguez

there is a new girl working at a cafe I frequent and I want to ask her oht. I havent spoken to her much but we are friendly, but not more than usual.

I am terrible at this, because of lack of confidence, and I am just slow at times. Like one day I was asking her about the weekend, and what she had planned for it.......it didnt occur to me to just ask, when she replied that she was doing nothing, and she was smiling to herself.

since then she seems less friendly, but that could be just me over thinking..........should I just bite the bullet or have I made a mess of it?

thanks

silkworm53

All you need to do is start a simple conversation.
You should find out in two minutes what kind of music she likes.
If she likes a particular band and they are playing then arrange to go to the gig with her. Read the entertainment section of the paper. So don't be shy and just go up to her, get her to talk, find out what she likes and pick something to take her to that she would be interested in.
If she agrees, get her number and arrange to meet her or pick her up whenever or wherever.
If she doesn't want to go, no big deal. Her loss. Ask some other girl out instead. Or go to the gig anyway because there are sure to be other girls there on their own who weren't asked out.
Best of luck.

pwd

Personally I think researching her favourite band to ask her out is making too big a deal of it, especially if you're shy.

Just ask her if she wants to go for a drink after work or something. Be direct without being pushy, and keep things relaxed, casual, without pressure.

It does sound like she thought you might ask her out in that conversation, and it sounds like she would have liked to go if you did. I wouldn't think she's gone off you if she's less friendly now; but she might think you're never going to make a move, and therefore doesn't see the point in maintaining interest. That's easily remedied!

Paco Rodriguez

Thanks for the input guys. Well I actually have a spare ticket to a concert but thats next month so too far away.
So I will ask her out to something else. I do want to go to the cinema soon, but i dont think its the best for a first date.....I mean not being able to talk much.
coffee is out as she works in a coffee shop...... a walk somewhere seems impossible with the weather lately, Has anyone anything other ideas for me

thanks

pwd

a pub.
Find one where you can sit together, talk without shouting, have some sort of space to yourselves, one where the atomsphere is comfortablem and where it wouldn't be frowned upon to kiss.

silkworm53

Paco Rodriguez wrote: »

Thanks for the input guys. Well I actually have a spare ticket to a concert but thats next month so too far away.
So I will ask her out to something else. I do want to go to the cinema soon, but i dont think its the best for a first date.....I mean not being able to talk much.
coffee is out as she works in a coffee shop...... a walk somewhere seems impossible with the weather lately, Has anyone anything other ideas for me

thanks

It's a good idea to move from location to location.
You could start by meeting up with her in the evening, going to a cinema, then going to a pub where you could talk, get acquainted, maybe kiss her, go for a romantic walk and then take her to a club to dance the night away?

Paco Rodriguez

I asked her out today, but she declined. I am glad i asked without bottling it. Thanks for the advice again

silkworm53

Paco Rodriguez wrote: »

I asked her out today, but she declined. I am glad i asked without bottling it. Thanks for the advice again

You don't mind talking through how you did it step by step so we can see what you might have done wrong so that we can tell how you might go about doing it with another girl and have a better chance of not getting a refusal?