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Councelling??

  • 04-11-2010 10:57am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Can anyone recommend a good, non religious, relationship councellor?

    I have been with my boyfriend for around 9 years. For various reasons we only started living together in the last year. Prior to this he worked away in another county for 2 years. He has since lost his job and our relationship has become very strained.

    He drinking is getting out of hand - like clockwork he goes on a bender each wednesday after collecting the dole. I am in a fortunate position that I earn enough for us to live comfortably but that is not the point.

    He has recently started a part time college course but I have serious doubts as to whether or not he is acutally attending lectures. This is annouying as it is an expensive private course.

    Without going into too much detail I don't want to throw away 9 years without even trying to rescue what is left of our life. i don't have the energy or will to have to start over. If the relationship ends I will be finished, but the way things are going I cannot stay with him.

    Any suggestions?


Comments

  • #2
    Oryx
    Subscribers Posts: 19,425 ✭✭✭✭Oryx


    Your post is short, but in it you come across as his minder, or his mother. He drinks all his money, so you support him. Are you paying for the college course too?

    Have you told him you want to go to counselling and is he willing to go with you?

    You could try here for counselling. http://www.mrcs.ie/site/relationship-counselling/


  • #3
    Nevyn
    Closed Accounts Posts: 43,045 ✭✭✭✭Nevyn


    You can not help him if he does not want to be helped, you can not change him if does not want to be changed.

    What you can do is get help and support for you.
    Al anon has support group meetings for those who are living with an alcholic,
    they provide a safe space, discussion and support.

    http://www.al-anon-ireland.org/meetings.htm


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Oryx wrote: »
    Your post is short, but in it you come across as his minder, or his mother. He drinks all his money, so you support him. Are you paying for the college course too?

    Have you told him you want to go to counselling and is he willing to go with you?

    You could try here for counselling. http://www.mrcs.ie/site/relationship-counselling/

    How do I come across as a minder? Is is unreasonable to expect that he contribute some of what is has to the running of the household and not just go on a bender each week as though he doesn't have a care in the world? If I did that my job would be in jeopardy and we would both loose the roof over our heads.

    The reason I think that we have a future is that the drinking has only been an issue for the last year - short enough that I hope he can recover. The constant friction and arguements have stemmed from the increase in drinking and general lack of get up and go which for a 32 year old is not right


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