Sex advice

littleHelp123

Hi Guys,
This is probably going to be explicit enough, but im in bits here so i'd really love some advice.

I just started seeing a girl.
She's hot as feic and we get on well.

The other night was the second time we slept together, and 1st time having sex.

It was going great. Im good with my hands and tongue.
Then she went on top, she put on a condom and we ahem.

It was good but *something*. I dont know if i was fully inside her or what? My cock didnt seem to get far in anyway.

Then i went on top and it went pear shaped. Couldnt really penetrate.
So it pretty much ended there. I lost my erection and that was that

She was asking was I tired, did she do something wrong?

To be honest i was never great with missionary or any position really. Girlfriends have been sporadic for me, so i never got 'the motion of the ocean' going.
Last night was my 1st sober sex in a long time

I had training just before, and it was tough, so maybe i was a bit tired.
Maybe lack of alcohol too didnt help

I do also feel my cock is small too. She doesnt i suppose, but i always had problems penetrating in missionary position.

So what to do? How do i get 'good' at sex, quickly enough?
I like this girl. I think she likes me. And i would like to keep this thing going.

But another night like that and i dont know what will happen.

It wasnt awful like, we kissed afterwards and i went down on her. she loved it. But we both wanted one thing and it wasnt happening.

Maybe i should go see someone? Or try other positions? Or anything?

Please help,
Im old enough that i should not have this problem, its very embarressing and worrying
Thank you!

Nody

Be careful of what you think of yourself as small as it really really depends on what you compare yourself to.

If you compare yourself to pornstars ala Rocco, then yea, you're likely to be smaller but compared to the average man are you small? I can't recall the Euro average exactly but I vaguely recall that they had to lower the average size to below 15 cm for a condom because they were made to big. There was another BBC article about India lowering it further due to having smaller size then Europe etc. Even if you would be smaller then average then focus on what you CAN do with it then; rather then if it is smaller. You can be hung like a horse but if you can't use it or hurt the girl then yea good luck with that.

Also from experience I can tell you that finding the right position with a girl takes time; don't hesitate to try new things and let things take time. So what if you go slack, cuddle up, make her cum and try again 30 min! Sex is not about having a 10 min 30 position ****aganza ala a porn movie, it's about enjoying the intimacy and you should not need alcohol for that!

The important part is you like her, she likes you, then utilize that and let things take time. As for new positions, you can find oodles of sites on the internetz with different positions that cater for every type of dick from small to large. With my current gf I can't do certain positions due to size and that's ok, it simply means I'll find others that work for both of us instead to ensure we both enjoy it with out hurting the other. Now we've found several positions that do work for us that we both enjoy but they did not come over night.

So don't worry if you can't do the missionary (never been a favourite of mine), try spoon style, try with her legs closed/open/on your shoulders etc. There are simply so many different ways out there from shallow to deep penetration depending on what you want/need to not to worry about it.

And you know what, yes, some times you will not come / keep it hard and that's ok! As long as you both enjoy each other company; perhaps she can go down on you then and get you hard again, perhaps you're to stressed etc. but be honest with each other about it. Coming is not a sign that you like/dislike her; it is simply a question of being in the right mood to get there. If you're patient, and try new positions, you'll find the right way in time and you'll be in 7th heaven together.

littleHelp123

Thats good advice...
If i had just said - 'thats ok, it will take time', probably everything would've been fine...

Dammit, you live you learn eh?

Fingers crossed there'll be a future with this girl...
Thanks again Nody,
John

silkworm53

Hi OP,

The best way to deal with this problem is to train yourself.
When you masturbate and you feel you are about to cum, stop and allow your erection to go down. Then start masturbating again.
The more you do this and stop just before you are about to cum, the longer you can last.
Instead of lasting a few minutes you could build up to lasting half an hour or more.
Check out the sex and relationships section in a bookshop and there are dozens of books about the kama sutra. We'll worth a read.

littleHelp123

I have no problem with lasting, really.
just that my erection goes down occosionally and unless i get manual stimulation it doesnt reappear
She hasnt been too proactive about this so far...

silkworm53

littleHelp123 wrote: »

I have no problem with lasting, really.
just that my erection goes down occosionally and unless i get manual stimulation it doesnt reappear
She hasnt been too proactive about this so far...

She does give you a hand or oral?

ted1

well if your using your hands and tongue she should be wet enough to slipi straight in. however some girls ight have problems getting wet. you could try using soem lubricants. or with out being to graphic when your using your fingers and tongue have you noticed it being loose, can you slip in a few fingers??

Bottle_of_Smoke

Do you smoke? That isn't good for being hard

Princess Peach

Talk to her about it and figure out what works best with you. I've had problems with things in the bed before, and when the guy spoke to me about it, it became clear it was a usual problem for him and it wasnt something I was doing wrong. This girl may be thinking she is the issue, and might be losing a bit of confidence. If you're sleeping with her, you should be able to talk about these things, and share your insecurities. I've always found talking about it helps, and then ye can work through it together. There will always be things your better at, and if ye discuss it ye can just focus on the good things and have a great time.

silkworm53

Get more exercise maybe, which is good for blood circulation, if you smoke fags, stop, cut down on the booze and fatty or sugary food, eat more fruit and vegetables and fibre and go to bed an hour ealier every night.
That might make an impact.
Because if you are bit healthier and feel better you would be a better lover too.

LegacyUser

Might sound silly, but practice makes perfect.

I would imagine it nerves that are getting to you, which is quiet common, so just try to enjoy yourself. Don't rely on alcohol. A couple of units (like a bottle or couple glasses of wine) and a conversation beforehand might help you ease into it, but getting drunk won't help the situation.

Also, there is no harm in asking for help. If she isn't already, ask her to guide you in with her hand. If you feel you need more direct stimulation, just ask. If she is not comfortable with it, she'll let you know.

And, not suggesting you be selfish, but don't worry to much about being a great performer. Focus on having a good time yourself, and things will eventually click.

littleHelp123

Thanks Guys, I appreciate it...
Its really a pressure thing i suppose. Pressure from myself really.

And communication. I just didnt have the words to explain the situation to her at the time. Hopefully i'll set it right in time

And of course practice will help

FoxT

littleHelp123 wrote: »

Hi Guys,
This is probably going to be explicit enough, but im in bits here so i'd really love some advice.

.
.
.
Last night was my 1st sober sex in a long time
.
.
.
Maybe lack of alcohol too didnt help


Thank you!

OP the above lines stood out for me - alcohol actually reduces your capacity to maintain an erection. If you feel you need to relax, just take your time & cuddle/chat for a while first.

Also, try not to worry too much about the size of your equipment, every man secretly wishes he had another inch or two, it is the way we are wired, I think!

Good luck, FoxT

littleHelp123

Thanks Guys,
Things are going great. We havent slept together since, even though last night she really wanted to, but it wasnt a runner. But we are getting on really well...

Communication is prob the key...
Thanks again Guys...

littleHelp123

Guys, anyone with a bit of ED...
Try:
1 - Talking about it with her, guiding her hand etc
<snip>

Zaph

littleHelp123, please do not link to anything like that again. Buying "supplements" of unknown provenance online is unwise at best, and possibly even unsafe. Your GP should be consulted before taking anything of this nature.