what to do in this situation

snowy2008

a couple and their two young kids moved in upstairs in the apartment where we live, the kids are up at 6am and are really really loud, i dont mind so much on the weekdays but its at the weekend when i want a lie in and all i hear is screaming and running around, i was going to put a note under their door but part of me is saying they are only kids and that happens but another part is saying i deserve my kip after a week at work and not to be woken up so do i grin and bear it?? i knwo its only a one bedroomed apartment so it mustnt be by choice they are living there

lynski

I would not drop a note, but pop up and have a quiet word, they could watch tv until 8, or play more quietly.
I would be completely aware of this if i were in this situation with my 2.

Fittle

Earplugs?

With the best will in the world OP, it's very difficult to keep very young children who wake up at 6am really quiet at that time - particularly if it's a one bedroomed apartment - the second one of them wakes, they're all awake.
I'm not taking sides but as bad as it is for you, I'd say it's doubly bad for the parents.

You could write a note alright - but it might cause conflict between you and your neighbours. For what it's worth, the kids waking that early and being so loud won't last forever. I agree that you deserve your lie-on and I'm sorry that I don't really have an concrete advice for you.

My son used to wake at 6 when he was about 2, but I was always conscious of the neighbours and as he's an only child, there was none of that running around causing havoc-type behaviour. I just stuck on the tv form him and he would relax in front of it.

But once a kid wakes at 6, there's not a hope they'll go back to sleep till later in the day. Sorry I've no better advice OP, but if it was a case of loud music, I'd certainly encourage you to get them to stop it. Kids running amok at 6am isn't as easy to control I'm afraid:rolleyes:

MrsA

I have a 1 year old and a 2 year old and to be honest there is very little that I can do about what time they wake at, and it is very hard to make them stay "quiet" for a couple of hours at any time not to mention first thing in the morning when they are full of energy.

Just be glad you don't have to be up with them!

How Strange

Op we have a family with two very young kids living above us. Mercifully the soundproofing is quite good but the noise can start as early as 6am until 11pm. They are very nice people so we've never said anything to them. Now we have our own little one on the way so we'll be the ones making noise at 6am.

I remember reading an article about apartment living on the continent and it's a common problem there too so it's not just our shoddy building standards to blame.

I'd suggest you try earplugs. I use the waxy ones which are fantastic. I've used them in hostels with lots if snoring and they do work. If that doesn't help then perhaps consider having a word with them but bearing in mind there us little they can do to keep two young kids quiet.

Dades

+1 for earplugs. I use them myself if my two are up early and I'm awarded a lie-in!

The thick foam ones work better for me.

Does the apartment upstairs have wooden floors? If thats the case you could ask them to get a rug or get the kids to wear slippers or something. In my old apartment the people upstairs had discos all night on wood floors. :pac:

cynder

Just to say, THATS LIFE.

There isn't much the parents can do to cut out the noise, besides gag them and tie them up.

Your going to get noise where ever you live. I'm half deaf so I'm lucky i don't hear too much, my husband is driven mad by our neighbours dogs 2 on 1 side of us and 1 at the other side and 2 opposite us. If its not barking its all hours of the day and night its a house alarm going off all day and all night (one house went on for a whole week while the person was on holidays (she got a fierce letter through her door when she got back))or car alarm going off.

If you cant move to a quieter area then the only option is ear plugs.

KittyeeTrix

For 5 years I lived in a normal 3 bed semi detatched house with my husband and 4 children. We were renting the top half of the house while another girl and her son rented the bottom half of the house. There was no soundproofing at all, just a regular house with no divisions.

I ducktaped a rug to the kitchen floor which was over her sittingroom and made sure the kids would either sit on that in the morning or on the couch. I would bring them to the bathroom one by one so as to cut down on the noise. We had lino over floorboards so the noise could've terrible if I let it be........but we managed to control it. The kids knew not to run around their room at night and they also showed great restraint in the morning. That said, of course there were many of times when it was bedlam but we made sure that it was not first thing in the morning or last thing at night""

We've been firm friends ever since with the girl, even though we've moved away 9 years ago. We see each other every weekend and would now class ourselves as best friends.

lynski

I am actually shocked that people think there is no way the op could ask the parents to teach their children a little regard for other people.
6am is no time to be running amok, the op is not complaining about the children making a little noise, they are charging around the place and screaming.
I can't imagine what kind of world we would live in if someone could not ask for a little consideration and courtesy from their neighbours.
I can allow my oh a lie-in on sat morning and he for me on sun with a 4yr old and 2 yr old, it is not impossible, just requires some common regard for other people.

cynder

lynski wrote: »

I can't imagine what kind of world we would live in if someone could not ask for a little consideration and courtesy from their neighbours.
.

Some neighbours are not approachable.

The kids are in an apartment they have no garden they have to run round . It may sound like a herd of elephants but in fairness wooden floors make it sound worse than it actually is. So what if they run from bedroom to sitting room, do they have to tip toe? At least they can run, it would be worse if they couldn't. Im sure they bounce on the bed what kids don't? Kids will be kids.



also
If its a one bed apartment they wont be there too long. Think of them as your alarm clock, get up early go to the gym or for a swim or jog, you could turn in into something positive. You don't sound like the whiny type, if you want to give a gentle hint to them do. Instead of hearing running screaming and laughter you will be hearing "quite, shut up, sit down, don't wake the person up down stairs, for pete's sake will ye ever shut up, stop running, sit down and watch the tv, turn the tv down," so you could be hearing more of the parents then the kids.


Do any of the kids suffer from adhd or an asd or pddnos which might contribute to the noise? or perhaps epilepsy? and might be having a fit on the floor or an adult for that matter.

Hellrazer

lynski wrote: »

I am actually shocked that people think there is no way the op could ask the parents to teach their children a little regard for other people.

Theres teaching regards to the kids but to be honest depending on the age you may aswell be debating politics with them

In my case a 2 and a 3 year old wouldnt understand it.Theyre both early risers and I think the last time I had a lie in was about 2006

6am is no time to be running amok,

You wouldnt mind calling up to my houase at 7.00am on a Sunday and telling my lot that would you??

the op is not complaining about the children making a little noise, they are charging around the place and screaming.

Its probably more to do with the apartment soundproofing than the fact that the kids are "charging around the place screaming"

I can't imagine what kind of world we would live in if someone could not ask for a little consideration and courtesy from their neighbours.

Id actually be quite put out if someone asked me to keep my kids quiet in my own home.

I can allow my oh a lie-in on sat morning and he for me on sun with a 4yr old and 2 yr old, it is not impossible, just requires some common regard for other people.

Thats the way we try to do it but mrs hellrazer wins and gets lie ins both days
I dont mind actually since I get to have all day with the kids.

littlebitdull

Count me in as another who thinks it should be ok to ask that children keep quiet at 6am .

I have three kids and would find this unacceptable myself.

6am is the middle of the night as far as I'm concerned, I can not imagine the horror of being woken up at that time every day. I guess I am coming from the viewpoint of someone who once woken up is awake, ... it takes me a while to get asleep and if I was woken up at 6am I would be awake for the rest of the day then. So if the OP is like that he/she has my full sympathy.

So if I was the OP - especially if I did not have children myself - I would be asking for a bit of neighbourly consideration. I dont feel its asking too much to teach the children that the day starts at a reasonable time.

cynder

What about crying babies?

They make noise and all through the night too (well mine did).

What if the person who live above the op popped a sprog in the morning, would it ok to ask them to shut the crying baby up because they cant get any sleep?

I find people playing music till 4am more annoying.

My brothers appartment is that bad you can even hear the shower from the next apartment, or the toilet flush.

littlebitdull

grindelwald wrote: »

What about crying babies?

..............

.....


I find people playing music till 4am more annoying.

.

Neither of which the op is talking about. So I don't see the point your making here.

cynder

My point is kids will be kids, and that it could be worse.

The person should count themselves lucky that that don't have a baby crying 27/7 or someone playing music all hours day and night. They could have it way worse, waking up to bombs exploding, gunfire, road works or traffic. I think a lot of people expect the world to revolve around them, you have to take the good with the bad, and count your blessings that its not worse. Its only kids playing! or are they only aloud to play when boardies say they can, after what 9 or 10 in a morning so they can have a lie in?

Gone are the days where kids are seen and not heard. I think more people on boards are making it into a BIG ISSUE, the op isn't half as whiny in their first post.

Why always focus on the bad instead of the good? I'm sure the kids are not running wild at 2 in the morning unlike a drunk who could be living in the flat above throwing parties and playing music, and making general noise until the early hours.

littlebitdull

Kids will indeed be kids. And if you live in close proxmity to a family you have to accept that fact.

The OP is not even vaguely suggesting that children should be seen and not heard. He is simply asking if it is reasonable to expect that there could be a time when the noice level could be a bit controled.

Personally I feel that in this case he should accept the noice level during the day and at a reasonable hour of the morning.

6am is not day or morning in most peoples book. For one thing its still dark ! And also if you read his opening post - he is only looking for some extra consideration at the weekends.

So to answer the original question .... I dont feel its unacceptable to ask the parents/guardians nicely to keep the children to a lower noice level at weekends.

Now if you like we can address all the many and varied things that could be worse than his situation.

Sure he could be dealing with new parents and a crying newborn. In which case all of us would be advising him that its a short lived situation, and that most babies settle in and it will pass. But he is not currently dealing with that.

My son is a drummer and he could be living in the apartment above the OP, or why stop there ... the OP could have a hundred children living in the apartment above him... or he could have a rock band practicing all day and night... or or or ... you get the point.

cynder

littlebitdull wrote: »

Kids will indeed be kids. And if you live in close proxmity to a family you have to accept that fact.

The OP is not even vaguely suggesting that children should be seen and not heard. He is simply asking if it is reasonable to expect that there could be a time when the noice level could be a bit controled.

Personally I feel that in this case he should accept the noice level during the day and at a reasonable hour of the morning.

6am is not day or morning in most peoples book. For one thing its still dark ! And also if you read his opening post - he is only looking for some extra consideration at the weekends.

So to answer the original question .... I dont feel its unacceptable to ask the parents/guardians nicely to keep the children to a lower noice level at weekends.

Now if you like we can address all the many and varied things that could be worse than his situation.

Sure he could be dealing with new parents and a crying newborn. In which case all of us would be advising him that its a short lived situation, and that most babies settle in and it will pass. But he is not currently dealing with that.

My son is a drummer and he could be living in the apartment above the OP, or why stop there ... the OP could have a hundred children living in the apartment above him... or he could have a rock band practicing all day and night... or or or ... you get the point.

I also think that boardies are making a bigger deal with it than the original poster.

A baby crying all hours of the night is not short lived and can go on for a year or more for one reason or another.

If that's the case i can Tell the op that as the kids get older they understand better and take in consideration other people but at toddler stage they don't really comprehend that. So wait a year or 2 and the noise level will reduce.


The people in the flat above probably don't realise how loud it is beneath them, its probably normal and to ask them to shut the kids up till after 10am isn't going to work, toddlers have energy and with 2 of them of course they are going to play and run and scream, what so you want the parents to do stick them in the naughty corner for 3 hours, or sit them in front of the tv for 3 hours (and how many people have said that sticking kids in front of the TV to babysit them is bad). Its too early to take them for a walk. Playing a tip toe game for 3 hours isnt going to work either.

Squiggler

It is really important for neighbours living in close proximity to be considerate of each other. Most apartment complexes have a list of rules, including noise rules. In complexes I've lived in these rules have stated that there should be NO NOISE (of any kind) coming from any apartment between certain hours (usually after 10pm and before 8am).

If the OP was having loud parties after the childrens' bedtime you could be sure that the people upstairs would be complaining.

In my opinion the nature of the noise shouldn't matter, every endeavour should be made to avoid causing distress or discomfort to the others you share the building with.

It is quite possible that the upstairs neighbours are not aware of the disruption they are causing. Telling them, kindly and politely, would be doing them a favour. After all, it is very likely that the OP could make an official complaint about the noise to the Management Company or residents association.

Oh, and in most cases there is something a parent can do to relieve the distress of a crying baby.

snowy2008

thanks for the replies, the kids are school going ages, i think they are 4 and 5, i would rather slip a note under the door but i really feel for them, it cant be much fun living in a one bedroomed apartment, im just knackered come the weekend and if im woken early i find it hard to go back to sleep

cynder

snowy2008 wrote: »

thanks for the replies, the kids are school going ages, i think they are 4 and 5, i would rather slip a note under the door but i really feel for them, it cant be much fun living in a one bedroomed apartment, im just knackered come the weekend and if im woken early i find it hard to go back to sleep

I say they will get a council house within 6 months. You sound like a really nice considerate person.

best of luck,

How Strange

snowy2008 wrote: »

thanks for the replies, the kids are school going ages, i think they are 4 and 5, i would rather slip a note under the door but i really feel for them, it cant be much fun living in a one bedroomed apartment, im just knackered come the weekend and if im woken early i find it hard to go back to sleep

Ah that gives a different slant on it. I thought they were younger. I think in that situation I'd have a polite word with the parents stressing you understand they are
kids etc etc but if they could try to keep them quiet for a couple of hours on a sat and sun morning. They could put a dvd on for them to watch. Ok they won't be euiet until 11am but at least until 8 or 9.

Fairs fair and the kids are old enough to be entertained quietly even if one of the parents has to get up with them.

Khannie

littlebitdull wrote: »

Count me in as another who thinks it should be ok to ask that children keep quiet at 6am .

I have three kids and would find this unacceptable myself.

6am is the middle of the night as far as I'm concerned

Agreed on all points. 6am = middle of the flippin' night, especially at weekends. I have 3 kids too. At the weekends if one of them woke early, we'd take turns going down / looking after them.

Beyond 3 years old though, 6am = "it's still the middle of the night pet....go on back to bed" in this house. It's only happened once that I can recall thankfully.

I got woken at 6am by some crazy lady out the front shouting at her dog this morning. I'm fairly tired today as a result. Good god, if she did it every morning I'd lose my reason.

cynder

Just wondering if they are up at 6am before the hour went back, are they up at 5am now??

or was it 7am normally and when the hour went back 6am?( For that weekend only)

wolfpawnat

I have a 20 month old, he wakes at about that time. I do all I can to keep him quiet. I let him play with his toys and all. But he gets tantrums. It is a conflict for me. I do not pay attention to tantrums but I am not the sort of person to allow him wake others. I am lucky our sitting room is under, above and beside our neighbours sitting rooms. We have carpeted floors so that muffs alot of the noise.

Our neighbours downstairs do not have the same consideration. We have to listen to their children tantruming followed closely by mother and father roaring abuse at them at any and all hours.

Consideration is always necessary. But writing letters doesn't always get the result wanted. My neighbours above me have wooden floors and they are moving furniture around the whole time until 2am some nights. We sent them a letter, which was very polite just saying that they may not know how loud it is and could they please not do it at night as it wakes my child.............. They have escalated it so much we have to stay up til they go to bed.

Does your apartment complex have a manager, if so complain to them!

ellee

Personally, I wouldn't go near them about it. I'm sure they're already trying to keep the kids quiet and in reality, there's not a whole lot anyone can do about it. You risk doing nothing except adding to their stress and causing at best some awkwardness with your neighbours and at worst some actual conflict.

Earplugs are actually quite effective try the wax ones, they're less irritating. I once managed with using these about 6 months before I managed to get rid of an extremly loud snory tenant. I mean this guy was loud, you could hear him out on the street!

Definitely don't put a note under the door, if you must do something, wait til you bump into them and maybe slip a comment into the conversation somewhere. Notes never go down well in my experience. But if they like you, maybe they'll try harder.

But really, live and let live I say, even the d#m noisy kids!

padr81

My 2 kids aged 4 and 2, are wired to the moon from 6a.m. onwards. I can ask them to be quiet all I want, put on t.v. or even read to them but theres gonna be fireworks. Comes with kids I'm afraid. If theres one thing I know about siblings of a simular age, its how much they like to pick at each other, argue, take things off each other etc... They are kids and they get jealous.

I feel for the op as alot of people wouldn't be so considerate, but 6 a.m. is a fairly standard waking time for kids and its impossible to keep them quiet. When I was living with my kids full time all I ever heard from my next door neighbour to her kids was "shut up", "stop", "sit down" and it got progressively worse, louder and the language got worse till about 10am. Never once did the kids making a bit of noise annoy me but I could of strangled her.

In general I'm wondering if the op can hear for example the t.v. from upstairs etc..., wooden floors amplify everything and kids do alot of running.

I'd say these kids aren't crazy or wild, just your normal average kids, doing things normal average kids do. If it gets to the point where its affecting your work/social life than I'd have a quiet word (phrased as politely as possible), if not than as above, ear plugs and patience as theres no way they'll stay in that 1 bed for too long. Plus eventually it becomes like living next to a waterfall. These days I could sleep with 2 kids jumping on my head.

MissHoneyBun

littlebitdull wrote: »

Kids will indeed be kids. And if you live in close proxmity to a family you have to accept that fact.

And adults will be adults. And if people live in close proximity to other adults they have to accept the fact that the whole world doesnt want or need to listen to their little darlings screaming. The world doesnt revolve around the whims of children, for good reason.

padr81 wrote: »

My 2 kids aged 4 and 2, are wired to the moon from 6a.m. onwards. I can ask them to be quiet all I want, put on t.v. or even read to them but theres gonna be fireworks. Comes with kids I'm afraid.

So you defer to your children in case they throw a tantrum? Firstly, you don't ask a child to do something, you tell them. Good behaviour is learned and children largely rely on their parents as a primary resource of how to behave. This it 'comes with kids' attitude is just a cop out for a parent who can't be bothered to discipline their child correctly.

OP have a word with the family and ensure they make every effort to address the problems they are causing. You can be sure it would be expected of you if the shoe was on the other foot. An earlier poster here identified a number of ways that she minimised the noise levels of her children out of respect for her neighbours so measures clearly can be taken.

Their kids, their problem. Onus on them to find a solution.

lynski

You can be damn sure if you were playing loud music or stomping around your place at 10 pm they would be knocking on your door.
Don't put a note in, knock on their door say welcome and hello and then try to explain your situation; explain you understand that they are young and you don't expect much but if they could ask them to keep it down a little, just an hr or so, so you can lie on? they could bring the children into bed and cuddle and watch a bit of tv for an hr or so, we do that with ours on a sat or sunday if we dont fancy the 6/7 am start,