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will we be ok?

  • 02-11-2010 7:19pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I am feeling very insecure about my relationship these days and I don't know what to do.

    A year and a half ago I got back with I guy I had a six month relationship with four years previously. He asked me out because he was 'sick of going to weddings on his own' and there was another one coming up. Not knowing where the relationship was going this time, I made the horrible mistake of getting too drunk (more drunk than I have been since or intend to be again) one night a month after our second 'first date' (before we agreed to 'go steady') and sleeping with somebody else.

    Although my relationship with the old flame has been going from strength to strength since then, despite the fact that it is long-distance (3 hour drive), the guilt of what I had done was eating me up and I felt that he deserved to know the real history of our relationship - so a month ago, I told him. He thanked me for telling him and said he still loved me, still wants to settle down with me, and that he would get over it. He has told me to forget it ever happened.

    But since then, I have been feeling really insecure. I can't believe he still feels the same way, even though he is still being a fantastic boyfriend. Although I had to tell him what happened, I am worried that by doing so I might have ruined what we had.

    Has anybody been through this and come out the other side?

    Please don't be too harsh. :(


Comments

  • #2
    LighterGuy
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,243 ✭✭✭LighterGuy


    Hmmm, well no-one can say if things will be ok.

    You told him he slept with someone else (good on you for doing so. most people wouldnt :) ) and he said he still wants to settle down with you (which would indicate he does truly love you)

    I think what helps is the fact that this was early on... and it was before you both agreed to be steady. Judging from his reaction things look good so far. So just take things as they come op :) i know you are fearing he might turn around and things will change over this... but it doesnt sound like it so far.


  • #3
    Taltos
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    I am wondering if your feelings of insecurity are coming more from your possible lack of commitment to this relationship?

    It is fine and dandy blaming drink - but the fact is you did go off with someone else. Are you sure that you really love your BF enough to stay faithful or is there a part of you that is just settling to be with someone???


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