Average or outstanding?

hadas

Does anyone have an experience of being much more than average (intelligence, looks, sports, rich) and getting teased, harrased made feel embarrased about it?

Torakx

I kind of get embarrassed in some groups that im not suited to.Friends of friends see me as weird or maybe a nerd because i use certain words i learned from reading books,eg convienient. lol? or think too much out of the box.So when they are around i will try to either stop talking because they will give me weird looks sometimes or i will just try not to be in the room.I dont feel accepted by the group because of this and in the past ment i would just stay in my room and leave everyone else to it as i happily researched away online or read books.
I now see thats its important to be around people who accept you fully for how you are and also are more or less on the same level.
Its not that i think im much better,these guys have some great skills in other areas.Its just intellectually i have serious trouble finding people to relate with.I am lucky my flatmate is on my level.Thats one so far! lol
I guess i dont look like how i am inside and can be mistaken for a "thug" with my clothes and general appearance.

hadas

To what extent does it bother you that you can't find others to relate to? I assume that it could feel kind of lonely but I am not sure. It seems to me that being average in every way is easier and being outstanding can isolate one socially.

metrovelvet

I started school knowing how to read, write and do arithmetics. In first grade, the teacher drew a big mountain on the blackboard and listed all the kids in terms of ability along the mountain from top to bottom. The teacher put me and another kid on top of the mountain.

We were ostracized from then onwards.

NapoleonInRags

metrovelvet wrote: »

I started school knowing how to read, write and do arithmetics. In first grade, the teacher drew a big mountain on the blackboard and listed all the kids in terms of ability along the mountain from top to bottom. The teacher put me and another kid on top of the mountain.

We were ostracized from then onwards.

I know where I'd have that teacher on a mountain of teaching ability!

hadas

metrovelvet wrote: »

I started school knowing how to read, write and do arithmetics. In first grade, the teacher drew a big mountain on the blackboard and listed all the kids in terms of ability along the mountain from top to bottom. The teacher put me and another kid on top of the mountain.

We were ostracized from then onwards.

It is so sad that we condemn brilliance rather than celebrate it. I was told that this might be particularly true in the Irish context and that in the States for example, brilliance of any kind is looked at as a fantastic gift. Do you think it is a cultural thing or a human-nature thing?

metrovelvet

hadas wrote: »

It is so sad that we condemn brilliance rather than celebrate it. I was told that this might be particularly true in the Irish context and that in the States for example, brilliance of any kind is looked at as a fantastic gift. Do you think it is a cultural thing or a human-nature thing?

This was in the US. Jealousy, competetiveness is everywhere. If a teacher does this in any country, it is bad news.

And this was a long time ago. This btw is the same school that put me in a dumb class because I was bi lingual in English and Italian and they initially thought I was one of those English as a second language kids. :rolleyes:Q

Kooli

I've worked with lots of college students who were academically gifted in secondary school and were ostracised as a result of it (sometimes deliberately in terms of bullying etc, and sometimes just because they didn't fit in or couldn't relate to others).

Many then found the CTYI (centre for talented youth ireland) and it literally changed their lives.

metrovelvet

Kooli wrote: »

I've worked with lots of college students who were academically gifted in secondary school and were ostracised as a result of it (sometimes deliberately in terms of bullying etc, and sometimes just because they didn't fit in or couldn't relate to others).

Many then found the CTYI (centre for talented youth ireland) and it literally changed their lives.

You also find yourself doing badly on purpose in order not to get teased and bullied.

Rabble Rabble

OP, if you are so intelligent go to a university, or company with very intelligent people. Try MIT, Imperial College, Apple, Google etc.

It may be that you are a outlier in your small town, if at all.

hadas

That's the problem! As kids, we don't have the power to make those decisions such as which school to go to or the groups we should associate with. We arrive to adulthood thinking we are weird and we learn to not to associate to keep safe. Yes - you can go to college that suits your intelligence but what do you do with your fear of people and their rejection and judgement?

Rabble Rabble

hadas wrote: »

That's the problem! As kids, we don't have the power to make those decisions such as which school to go to or the groups we should associate with. We arrive to adulthood thinking we are weird and we learn to not to associate to keep safe. Yes - you can go to college that suits your intelligence but what do you do with your fear of people and their rejection and judgement?

If they are all intelligent they would all be in the same position. We certainly should have streaming for schools, however, the ideolology is opposed to it.