Fallen for a girl living in a different country

LegacyUser

I'm male, 33, and I have felt very low the last couple of days, I cried last night for the first time in years.
Some background info. Whilst on holidays this year I met a girl from the UK.
We got on great. She came to visit me in Ireland and I went over to her last week.
I had a really great time. I have been single more or less for the last 7 years but the week we spent together made me realise what I have been missing in terms of a relationship, the passion, the intimacy. It was like a lightbulb went off in my head.
The fact we live in different countries means we are not going to see each other regularly.All I want is to be with this girl. Its so so hard, I really feel low right now. I am thinking maybe the best thing to do is cut my losses as this is never going to work and the heartbreak will get worse. Any advise?

A.Partridge

ehhh...ever thought about moving to the UK to be with her?

Just a thought.

Jenneke87

A.Partridge wrote: »

ehhh...ever thought about moving to the UK to be with her?

Just a thought.

That´s easier said that done. He has to be in a position to do so(even if the country is nearby) and if they are only in the early stage of their relationship, moving over may not be an option just yet.

OP, if you´re really into this girl, then don´t cut your loss, but go for it! You´re not that far away from each other and with some careful planning, you could see each other on a regular basis. Don´t let something that feels good slip because of distance, you´ll end up regretting it.

LighterGuy

It is only the uk, op.
You could meet every saturday or sunday. Plane fares are cheap to uk I say if you like her go for it.

Either way, that "lightbulb" went off in your head you feel you are missing out. Which sadly you are. So either way its time to get out there and date, ideally her, if not get back out there on the scene

LegacyUser

LighterGuy wrote: »

Either way, that "lightbulb" went off in your head you feel you are missing out. Which sadly you are. So either way its time to get out there and date, ideally her, if not get back out there on the scene

Very true my friend.
Thanks for the replies guys.

silkworm53

sosolow wrote: »

I'm male, 33, and I have felt very low the last couple of days, I cried last night for the first time in years.
Some background info. Whilst on holidays this year I met a girl from the UK.
We got on great. She came to visit me in Ireland and I went over to her last week.
I had a really great time. I have been single more or less for the last 7 years but the week we spent together made me realise what I have been missing in terms of a relationship, the passion, the intimacy. It was like a lightbulb went off in my head.
The fact we live in different countries means we are not going to see each other regularly.All I want is to be with this girl. Its so so hard, I really feel low right now. I am thinking maybe the best thing to do is cut my losses as this is never going to work and the heartbreak will get worse. Any advise?

Stop focusing on just one woman especially a woman too far away.

Where you live there are surely women who are available?

You have discovered passion and intimacy - so start using that to attract and start dating women where you live.

shortys94

Iv been going out with a girl from New York for one and a half years, its pretty damn hard, spend summers together and see each other at christmas and spring, honestly the UK sounds easy, no time difference, flights are cheap. If you really like her you can do it.

Funky Kingston

Hi OP ,

Im currently in a relationship with someone from the uk , fares are cheap .... we see each other evey two or three weeks , its just a matter of planning and getting tickets early ! The distance is daunting but as a previous poster said it could be alot worse !

Enjoy dating whatever you decide to do

taram

I live in the UK and am with a guy from Cork. It sucks, and it hurts a LOT sometimes, but at the end of the day we both have meteor phones (he can ring me free meteor to meteor), we email, we text, we write, we skype. I once spent 9 months not seeing him due to college and work, and we got through it. Talk to her lots, write to her- letters are so much more powerful than a text! Check up flights plenty in advance, same with trains to get to/from airports, if you search around will be cheap enough. If you really feel that strongly about this girl, do everything you can! It'll be worth it in the end Good luck!

inmyday

silkworm53 wrote: »

Stop focusing on just one woman especially a woman too far away.

Where you live there are surely women who are available?

You have discovered passion and intimacy - so start using that to attract and start dating women where you live.

Could you say that to every man? "Stop focusing on just one woman".... Maybe he doesnt want to stop focusing on her. Hes been single for 7years, dont you think he has tried, dated a few women?

Funk Kingston and Taram make good points above. But they use words like "sucks" & "daunting", it is not going to be all rainbows and pots of gold... But it can work, and what relationship is perfect?

I've been in love twice, and one was a woman from Scotland. I have so many amazing memories of us.

Red Hand

Live is too f*cking short, mate. In 200 years, you will be just dust and few memories of you will remain. If you find someone you connect with, go for it. You may just end up regretting it when older.

Flights to the UK, if you plan carefully, can work out to be not overly expensive. There are a number of computor apps like Gmail and Skype which allow free phoning, and text chat.

Letters can be great...you put a lot more thought and effort into writing a letter than a text/email and who knows, if ye are together in a few years, ye will have a stack of romantic remainders of when ye were apart.:)

Supercell

OP life is too short to have regrets.
If she lights your fire then go for it, distance is no barrier, you will regret this when you are older if you let the chance of happiness go.
My wife is in China right now waiting for her visa to comelive here with me..doesnt get much further than that.

But daily webcams, phonecalls, emails , chat etc..can make the distance seem shorter and the time together more special.
If I hadnt gone for it I'd have always wondered would things have been different if I'd just left it at a holiday romance....

Trixielicious

OP don't give up, long distance relationships work. A friend of mine is now getting married to a guy she met from the UK. For 5 years they emailed, wrote, phoned, text one another and every couple of weeks they met up, taking it in turns which country they would meet in. Then 2 years ago she went through a rough time and he moved here to support her and never left. They are getting married in May and to be honest they have the best relationship out of all of my friends. Every relationship is hard work and to be honest it isn't that much different if you were in Donegal and she was in Cork, it still would be long distance. If she is worth it then you will make it work!!!

SeekUp

Go ahead and try to make it work as best you can if you both are on the same page . . . lightbulbs don't turn on for just anyone, y'know?

LegacyUser

inmyday wrote: »

Could you say that to every man? "Stop focusing on just one woman".... Maybe he doesnt want to stop focusing on her. Hes been single for 7years, dont you think he has tried, dated a few women?

This is exactly it. I have been with quite a few women in those 7 years, had the time of my life in many ways. Yet I have never felt this way about a girl before. i am meeting her again in a few weeks. Your replies have given me the will to make this work. Thanks everyone.

Overheal

Yeah I was going to say, we're talking about a 45 minute flight here. My good man whip out a calendar and circle the bank holidays in red.