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Losing Control....

  • 01-11-2010 5:44pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    I don't really know how to write or communicate this but here goes, forgive me if I don't make sence....!

    A long time ago, I witnessed quite regular domestic violence at home (15-18 years ago). It was quite extreme back then, I was a child of no more than 8 or 9 years.

    I moved out of the family home almost four years ago, to the other end of the country. I thought getting away was the answer, but I have also been drawn back so many times.

    When I moved, I thought I was initially doing well, I started a new college course and made some friends (more like just a few!).

    As time went on, I started to get more and more down in myself...and my life has changed for the worse over the past few years because I can't forget of what happened in my family when I was a child.

    Up to now, I have struggled through college...barely passing my exams to the point I am now going to fail (there's no doubt in it!).

    I have sought professional help, been to my GP, college councellor and mental health team, I feel sad to say this but none of them have changed the way I feel.

    I spent two years on medication, and felt completely raw on them...Until last week I suppose I was 'under control'. Like I was self harming on medication and I feel worse that I am without them.

    I went to my GP the other day and saw the team as well, they all feel that meds are not the answer, that I need to face my problems head on...I don't think I can do this even though I know at some point I have to!

    Anyway...I don't know if there's anyone out there that has been in a similar situation, does anyone know what I should do...I feel as every day goes on, I'm losing more and more control over my life....

    So sorry about the rant..


Comments

  • #2
    thefeatheredcat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,282 ✭✭✭thefeatheredcat


    Running away from a problem is never the answer, and luckily you have learned this now in life. Feelings of guilt of situations where perhaps, you felt you ought to have done something but didn't (and perhaps were not able to understand the situation or do anything about it anyway) can haunt a person for a long time.

    Medication imo is only ever a quick fix to the problem, so I think facing the whole problem head on is exactly what you need especially if all those helping you with your health are advising this route.

    You need to be strong and you need to summon that inner strength within you. If you feel that you don't have it in you, then you must believe in yourself.

    Did the medical health team give you any guidance as to how to tackle it head on? As in, did they advice confronting your parents? And has this actual violent situation continued since you've left and still goes on? (that wasn't clear)

    Maybe you need to be armed with kindness, compassion and empathy to re-build bridges as well as be willing to help the situation that has been left behind in order to move forward from this and move on?


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