He upped and left after first time sex

LegacyUser

Had a 3rd date last night with this guy I met (both mid 30's). Last time he was pretty pushy for sex but it didnt happen. We ended up in my friends company last night unintentionally and they all thought he was sound. I explained to him later that I had no slept with anyone since my ex and that I was not into a one night stand. He said it wasnt (he has been eager and the one doing the contacting & arranging) ...

He has just finished 7 nights of nights and was knackered when he met me last night. He slept on all day today in my place and when he got up at 4 pm he immediately said he had to go. Didnt want to have food, didnt explain why he had to go and just asked me about my week ahead and got a peck on the lips and left. He said he would contact me later...

Have I been played? Surely if he had someone to meet he would have said it rather than walking out the door, saying I have to go and p'ing off?

Silverfish

Give him a chance to get in contact before you write him off as a player.

Yes, it's very bad manners to hop up and leave straight away, but perhaps he has an explanation he didn't give at the time.

Miss Fluff

You can't second guess him. You're just going to have to wait and see. He said he would contact so wait and see and give him a chance until his actions (or lack thereof) prove otherwise....

LighterGuy

Agreed that its too early to tell.
You'll get your answer this time next week. If contact over the next 7 days is sparce or non-exsistant. Then yes he used you for sex.

LegacyUser

Got a text about something he is watching on tv this evening... Ok its contact but still think it was bad manners to jump and run... Am surprised as he seemed mannerly... Anyway, will see what pans out...

Miss Fluff

Have i been had? wrote: »

Got a text about something he is watching on tv this evening... Ok its contact but still think it was bad manners to jump and run... Am surprised as he seemed mannerly... Anyway, will see what pans out...

OK so you got a text, he said he would make contact. He did.

I'm not sure if what you were expecting when you woke up this morning was a four-piece string-instrument quartet with roses in their mouths making you breakfast in bed perhaps?

I know when I stay in someone else's place, regardless of how much I like them or whatever, I just want to get home and do my own thing. ESPECIALLY if I am wrecked. You have to bear in mind that he has worked seven night-shifts on the trot so I am sure he is a pretty tired guy, especially if you guys had a busy and fun night together and he got little sleep

I don't want to offend you here but you seem very very quick to jump on the busy bus to the town called "Cynical" and that's an awful shame. I'm just a couple of years younger than you and we do of course build our defences a little from meeting thoroughly vile or ill-mannered boys. But it would be a terrible shame to write them all off judging them on our OWN experiences or preconceptions rather then giving the poor unfortunates a chance at least m'dear! You could potentially be writing off really good guys because of your own "issues"....try and relax a little if you can!:)

LegacyUser

I just got paid last week and I bet all of my cash that he just didn't want to take a dump in your bathroom...

I'm serious by the way , give him a chance to get back in touch , he was probably touching cloth when he woke and just wanted to get out of there ....

give him time , if he takes too much time though then don't reply , just find someone who deserves you.

sorry if it reads a bit crass.

LegacyUser

I did hear from him. I appreciate your comments (esp Ms Fluff) and will note same. I am just not used to this 'scene' and was probably over tired myself. Cheers

LegacyUser

on the doorstep wrote: »

I just got paid last week and I bet all of my cash that he just didn't want to take a dump in your bathroom...

Brilliant : ). You'd be better off thinking this OP! There are still nice men left

LegacyUser

Give on the doorstep a prize for best post!

Also makes sense!

Darthhoob

on the doorstep wrote: »

I just got paid last week and I bet all of my cash that he just didn't want to take a dump in your bathroom...

I'm serious by the way , give him a chance to get back in touch , he was probably touching cloth when he woke and just wanted to get out of there ....

give him time , if he takes too much time though then don't reply , just find someone who deserves you.

sorry if it reads a bit crass.

excellent LOL i bet that's true as well...he probably penguin walked (ran) home to take a dump in private ROFL

Overheal

Have i been had? wrote: »

I did hear from him. I appreciate your comments (esp Ms Fluff) and will note same. I am just not used to this 'scene' and was probably over tired myself. Cheers

It takes time to phase into a relationship. That is if you want it to last. Don't be alarmed if he's not there every morning or evening. I'll wager a guess that since you mentioned you haven't been intimate with anyone since your ex that it's still a sore spot for you, and that you might be a little hesitant to start trusting someone that closely again. But it sounds like this guy is into you and it's worth giving it time to mature. It's hard to overcome that anxiety when you don't know where they are or if they're going to call you back but if you can get through that, I think there's a very good chance you're going to be well rewarded here