Feeling very alone in the world..

happyfeet2010

Hi,

Just writing this post as I just feel so lonely! I've just finished college with a good degree.. I have no job.. all my friends are either still at college or are working.. either way.. I don't have any friends that live at home... which is where I am now based..

I go to fitness classes in the evening and although the people there are very nice.. they are all married with kids.. so they are not people that I could head out clubbing with..

The friends that I have at home only come home for weekends every now and then... but they always talk about people they know from away and I'm left out of the conversation..

I miss college so much.. I had a great social life and a great circle of friends from different areas of college- through sports, activities, lectures... and now I feel like I have nothing..
I somehow felt that I got on better with the group of friends from college... I always thought that I somehow don't fit in at home..

I'm not looking for sympathy and I'm not looking for a group of people to get pissed with... just something as simple as a phone-call or lunch would do! I miss talking to people of my own age..

Just wondering if anyone else is in the same boat as me?

Wibbs

Better bet in here as you'll get a broader base of posters replying.

Leelaa22

Hey I hope things work out for you here. I know how you feel I left my circle of friends to move with my family out in the country and there is no one here my age, no one to go out to, no one to talk to. Im still in college but I dont go out with them cause I live so far away now and im jobless with no money and a car to fund. I know exactly how you feel. Its harder when it comes into winter, its going to be colder, darker and more depressing in general. Just hang in there.

lisnsooz

I'm prob a bit older than you as have been outta uni over 10 years now, but I left Dublin 2 years ago and moved home to the south as well. Am living on my own, but it has been tough as all my friends were still in Dublin.

I was lucky in that I fell in with a fairly social crowd in work (but they're a lot younger, and still finding it tough to find folk to go out clubbing with regularly to places with folk more my age).

And I do wonder about maybe moving back to Dublin. All my friends at this stage tho are hooked up and aren't interested in 'going on the pull'. So yeah - it's tough. But I guess you just have to work with it the best you can.

What's happening with your college friends? Any of them in the same boat as you, but at their own homes? Is there anyway you can tap into something in the locale like community/charity work or something, which might be attracting ppl from all age groups?

It's so tough - but to be quite honest, the worst at this stage is prob behind you cos you've had to make the move, you've had to settle back to a whole new situation (I think I was in despair for about 3 months when I first moved home). At least this point maybe it's time to really find your feet now? Or are you in a sort of limbo trying to get back out of your homeplace to get work somewhere else?

*big hug for you*

LegacyUser

I could have written that post word for word.

I just graduated there with a good grade in the last week and I miss college so much it is unreal. I absolutely loved college, had a great circle of friends and knew loads of people. I miss being on campus filled with people who are the same age as myself, having a goals, working towards them, my days being planned, staying up all night talking shíte with my house mates, seeing people who you had spent the hole night previous talking bollox to the next morning at 9am looking like hell and giving them the nod, bitching about how crap my lecturers where, copying each other assignments and making the smallest changes to make them look different, hell I nearly even miss studying for exams (well mostly being in the Library, looking at all the hot girls and avoiding study ).

There are so many things I miss about it and now I am back living with the parents on the dole with nothing to do but try and find work. I try to keep myself busy by keeping fit and playing football but other then that I have nothing to do during the day.

Out of my friends from college most have gone back to college to do masters, the odd few have gotten employment and then there is like 5 of my mates who are in the same boat as me looking for work but the problem is that we all live in other sides of the country so cant exactly meet up.

While living at home has caused it own problems, my parents are getting my nerves big time asking me about jobs and getting me to do jobs around the house. As I havent lived a home really for the last few years so I have drifted away from my friends from school even the guys I hang around with now at the moment we have differ greatly from our goals in life to what makes a good night and the only real thing we have in common any more is sport.

When I was going down for my graduation I was in my car with my parents and I just couldnt believe that it has been four year since I was in the car with them moving down to college and living away from home for the first time.

I would give anything to go back and start 1st year again but I guess thats life and the hole phrase 'all good things must come to an end'. Going out to the big bad world scares the hell out of me but I guess this is what growing up means.

All that said if I went back now I would probably find it really lonely as all my mates have all left.

Leelaa22

It seems to be a growing thing... all these people with degress and the like and no work for them. It does scare me too that this time next year Im going to be in that boat too.

happyfeet2010

Graduatedole,

I feel exactly the same way as you!

One group of my friends from home are lovely and I have never fallen out with them nor do I intend to. However, I have always felt that we were never on the same wavelength- both before and after college! Whearas, I could pick up the phone/ meet up with my friends from college and talk to them for hours and hours on end.

I agree it would never be the same going back to college. Maybe you wouldn't like it as much second time round! Just be glad that you had the opportunity to go and experience it for yourself, as some people never had the opportunity to do so.

Anyway, as you said life moves on. Maybe in time I will have established another group of friends (fingers crossed)!

Just wish we could come up with a solution!

Just out of interest.. what would you regard as a good night and what would your friends regard as a good night?

tenchi-fan

I feel I missed out by going to college in my home town.

On the other hand, I've got a good group of friends for the past 10 years (most of us went to college together but I'd consider then better friends than just a group of classmates)

Now.. I feel like I'm in a rut. I have a job and between working and commuting and going to bed early to be up early I feel I don't have a life. I don't have enough time to do stuff with people in the evenings.

Seeing as you're single I think you should consider moving to a different, busier city where you can build a nice life and nice lifestyle. Don't be afraid to look for a job away from home.

LegacyUser

I was in this situation, now in something similar after finishing my masters though its not exactly the same this time round as I have friends around and have a better idea about what I want to do. Basically it was tough the first time but what helps I think is getting excercise, this generally made me feel better and applying for jobs or investigating future college options. I love college so much that I plan to stay there forever by becoming a lecturer. I like learning, researching and so forth and generally like university campuses, the whole environment essentially.

LegacyUser

The mad to think that I hated college for the first few weeks in 1st year.

I also find I dont have the same drive to do stuff, like I did while at college. Like I was very neat and organised but now I am far from that.

happyfeet2010 wrote: »

I agree it would never be the same going back to college. Maybe you wouldn't like it as much second time round! Just be glad that you had the opportunity to go and experience it for yourself, as some people never had the opportunity to do so.

......
Just out of interest.. what would you regard as a good night and what would your friends regard as a good night?

Yeah, very true a lot of my friends who I grew up with never went to college or dropped out very soon after starting or even to a lesser extent like tenchi-fan said went to the local college and missed out on the hole living away from home while at college. Some of my friends have started having children which I havent even thought about.

Kinda hard to explain but most of my friends from college are all into the same music so we are often going off to gigs together and often going to places we have never been before while my mates at home always just go to the same pub and club every weekend which I just find boring so much so that I dont really head out with them any more.

I also miss the fact that no two people that you get talking to have the same accent and I kinda liked being the only person from my group of friends from my county.

Living at home is just depressing so the sooner I get employment the better.