Need some opinions on break-up please

LegacyUser

Met a girl a few months back in work (both work part-time in a cafe at weekends). She was absolutely beautiful but also really nice and down to earth. We chatted a bit but but i never thought it would go anywhere. Then one night we randomly met each other out and we got together. Everything seemed great and we arranged to meet for a date the following week. We met up and had a great time again. She admitted she always fancied me and i told her likewise.

We then started seeing each other for a few months and everything was perfect but things started to change when she went back to college. We saw less of each other as she had a busy workload and sometimes we would only see each other once a week or at weekends in work. However she always told me how she was looking forward to seeing me and how much she liked me. While i accepted that college is important, something didn't feel right.

A few weeks ago we meet up for a drink where she goes on to tell me that she's too busy for a relationship and doesn't think it is fair on me to be waiting until she is free. She also mentioned how she only got out of a long term relationship a few months previous to meeting me and doesn't want to get serious while she is so busy. She then said she still really likes me and if it was another 6 months to a year down the line things would be different.

Is she letting me down easy or what is going on? She kept saying she still likes me but cant continue with a relationship and she hopes she is not making a mistake by breaking up??? I feel like such a fool for thinking things might work out and i'm crushed by this to be honest.

Ickle Magoo

It sounds like you were much more into the relationship than she was...calling her absolutely beautiful, the relationship perfect and so on - Vs her having fun in college and just out of long-termer. Perhaps she just wanted a bit of fun with a guy she fancied and it's all getting a bit too serious, too soon for her?

I think it might just be a case of unfortunate timing. Sorry OP.

LegacyUser

I'm in a position similar to yours too, OP. Totally crazy about this guy, he really liked me, but he works away an awful lot and we didn't see each other that often. He didn't want a relationship, but I ended up falling for him anyway... stupidly. Anyway, he said similar to your girl - that he loved seeing me, spending time with me, but it was bad timing.

Which is all well and good. I do believe that he genuinely cares about me, and I don't think he's bull****ting me. But at the end of the day, it amounts to the same thing: I want to be with him more than he wants to be with me. And that's why it's not going to work.

To be honest OP, I'd walk away from it now. She's right - no matter how much you care about her and feel like it could 'only if'.... she's not into it. If she wanted to make time for you, she would. I went through a period of a couple of months of trying to cling on to it, before my self-respect kicked in and I walked away. Once you make the decision to do the same, you'll feel a bit better. But I think you should have that conversation with her, to get closure - otherwise you'll drive yourself mad with your thoughts.

LegacyUser

Cheers. I dont think i will bother contacting her for closure, whatever she says will not change the fact that she's not into me. I'll still see her in work so all i can do is be friendly with her and try and move on.
It's just a pity because this was the first meaningful relationship i've had in over 2 years and it felt good. My last GF of 3 years was so manipulative and clingy and our relationship ended messy and i was affected by it alot. Then finding someone new who was such a nice person was so refreshing to me. I dont want to go back to the pub/club scene where everyone is only interesting in shifting randomers or having one night stands.