Benefit of the doubt?

LegacyUser

Hey Folks

Have been in a relationship coming up to a year now. The OH was out with a group of her friends the other night and i was on their page to find them kissing someone else and a load of pictures of the two of them.

Confronted her about it and she admitted it said she was drunk and that it will never happen again and that it was the biggest mistake of their life. Naturally i told them where to go.

It is killing me to think that it is over but even if i didnt break up i dont think it would ever be the same.

Was i right to follow my head or should i have taken into account we have been together for quite some time and that it was a genuine mistake that would not happen again?

Any advice is appreciated

Giblet

Biggest mistake of her life was getting caught in a picture.

LegacyUser

Lucky escape, mate. Sounds like she didn't give a crap about you if she went and put up the photos of the 'biggest mistake of her life'...

Ickle Magoo

I think you should view yourself as lucky you ever found out and find someone who can be faithful. I never believe the "I was drunk" excuse - lots of people get drunk and it doesn't seem to render them incapable of fidelity to an absent partner.

Not even a year of going out and she's already doing the dirty would raise some enormous red flags for me. Sorry, not what you want to hear.

All the best

LegacyUser

Sounds very odd Op, I presume her friends knew the 2 of ye were going out? Why on earth would they post pictures on the net when they knew you would see them?

Was i right to follow my head or should i have taken into account we have been together for quite some time and that it was a genuine mistake that would not happen again?

The length of time ye were going out is irrelevant in my opinion, being together a year does not negate the need for fidelity. If the two of you were to stay together for another 6 years does that mean she can shag someone the next time she gets drunk and makes a "genuine mistake"?

It sounds far from a genuine mistake to me, being drunk is not an excuse, the fact that she allowed her friends to take pictures of her and this guy says it all really, if she had a shred of remorse or guilt she wouldn't of allowed her friends to take these pictures. I mean surely the next day even she would of told her friends not to post them up if she really had any sense of guilt? it just doesn't make any sense OP it almost sounds like she wanted to get caught, either way you're well rid.

LighterGuy

Only fools and suckers give someone the benefit of the doubt when faced with other information. You in your case found out. So the truth was clean cut due to seeing pictures. No uncertainty.
But even people with enough information to clearly see through BS still give the benefit of the doubt to their partners. Ignoring even common sense. Which is one of the foolish things a person can do in life.


You did the right thing.
See all this "It will never happen again" - its all bo**ox. Majority of the time cheating is found out upon and not honestly revealed (A partner coming clean has always been in the minority - sadly always will) >>> "it will never happen again" has been said time and time again by people who did it more than once. Just that they only got caught the one time.


So if she tries to ring you or what not dont start thinking "maybe it was a mistake" - your average cheaters conscience doesnt come into play when doing the act, but can do when they are caught and told to get lost (only feeling bad when you get caught - think about that op)

LegacyUser

Its game over. Just walk away now.

In 5 years there could be kids and houses involved.

You deserve better, and will find better.


All the best

Crash Bang Wall

Talk to her....see what she has to say, and then make a call.

However, like the mod on here I dont believe the "I was drunk" cr@p. When your drunk you know what you are doing, and if your drunk enough that you cant remember, from a guy, I wouldnt be able to raise an eyebrow....sorry if slightly off topic