Hating life, feeling down, no confidence, etc..

LegacyUser

I have a lot of problems going on at the minute I don’t know where to start; I think it’s fair to say i'm not enjoying life at all at the minute

I had really high expectations for my first year of college but its hasn’t turned out at all like I expected.

I live in a house with 4 other idiots which I don’t really get on with while all my friends managed to get in together, so I spend very little time at my own house which leads to me eating very little and I look thin and bony. I hate being at my own house while everyone I know is just hanging out together. I’m paranoid that i’m annoying my friends by always hanging out in their houses, but I hate being left out. I can’t do any study because of it and I skip lots of meals.

I’m a fairly smart person and I know exactly what people think about my look and its not good. Example, when people get drunk they speak their mind a little more. Or someone might say to me when mess fighting "god your so bony" or "ew your feet are so ugly” etc etc that kind of stuff. They don’t mean to insult but still... I hate my own looks, I’m about 5"8 which is average enough and I weigh just over 8 stone. This means i’m shocking thin, I hate looking at pictures of myself

basically I don’t have any confidence due to all this, (sometimes people ask me why i've no confidence) i’m 19 and i’ve only every got with 3 girls on nights out. I’ve fear of rejection and embarrassment on the dance floor if I ever try to make a move. I feel like such a show and I don’t know what to do. I’ve never had luck with any girls so I don’t seem to try anymore. I get with so few people my friends are all suspicious that I’m gay!

I really like one of my close friends but she has a sort of policy that good friends can’t be more than that. Plus I know she find me really unattractive (overheard face book conversation) whenever I hear she got with another person it really kills me inside. There’s no chance ill ever get with her (not in the short term anyway) but I hang out with her everyday so it’s hard to forget about her. When I like someone I really invest in them and have eyes for no one else.

I think I get a touch of anxiety because before I leave the house in the morning I feel a bit nauseous and skip breakfast but I know it’s related to just leaving the house by me while everyone else is having breakfast together. Sometimes when I’m getting ready to go out ill just feel really sick, even though I haven’t even started drinking yet

I finding myself becoming lazy, I don’t really like going out on a Saturday night anymore. I’m really shy and fell everyone else in moving on I college and I’m not.
I just don’t want to look back in 5 years and say to myself I spent my college years lonely and depressed

I don’t know what to do any ideas?

George Orwell 1982

The college counselling service would be a very good start.

kjl

Well your low self esteem isn't helping. I would try going to see a counsellor and maybe get yourself on some gym plan to try and bulk up a bit.

marmalade and jam

Hey OP

I couldn't pass by your post without sayin something.. I remember back a few years ago when i went to college, i was 17 at the time and looking back (its a few years ago now) it was such a horrible time for me. i found the transition awfully difficult and was miserable for the first two years, and despite having plenty of friends and being a chatty, fairly popular girl, i was deeply lonely and felt isolated in my head. i only wish i went to talk to someone because it's what i needed but i was too scared to take that step. I would really recommend ya do that, to see your college counsellor and explain your feelings and talk through them. Or maybe you could confide in a parent/ sibling/ mature friend? Lots of people experience these feelings but hide them well.

It seems that a few things are bothering you and playing on your mind, you mention housemates, girls, your appearance etc. Sometimes when a things are bothering us and playing on our mind, that negative outlook affects how we experience other things in our lives and we think people dislike us etc. It spirals.

You will find that when you sort out your confidence and that, the spiral effect happens in a good way and maybe your appetite will return and you will find a hobby you enjoy to help you fill out a bit and start to believe in yourself (apologies for cliche!). But I bet your not a fraction as bad as you think. I thought I was an absolute minger in college but soon found a few lads who thought I was decent enough to ask out thank god!! If that girl you mentioned does not fancy you, just work on your self confidence and making your life fun for you, and a girl who likes you for who you are will come along (maybe it will be that one), but work on sorting your head out first I would say.

Best wishes, hope you feel better soon

mikemac

problems.problems wrote: »

i’m 19 and i’ve only every got with 3 girls on nights out.

Well that certainly isn't bad at all. I've read threads from people in their thirties with less success then that, chin up OP:)

College can be a lonely place.
Talk to your college counselor, they have seen it all before and will be experienced enough to help you.
Have you a class rep? Get a night out organized only you organize it with the rep.

Your weight is seriously low. Join the college gym and get a trainer, you may have to pay to get a good one, the gym staff are not always the best.
Put on 3 stone of good weight and your confidence will explode.

But first see your counselor, be assured there are thousands of college students in Ireland and many in college who feel lost and lonely.