Coping with the loss of a relationship / bestfriend.

harperlee

Hi,

I'm totally heart broken here. In the past I have had two serious long term relationships, I fancied the both of them like mad and was smitten with them both and was upset when the relationships ended.
This year after a hard lonely 6 months stuck at home with no job and no place of my own, I moved back after getting a job and I became good friends with a new group of friends. Myself and one of the guys became best friends.

One night out of the blue he told me he had feelings for me, I was shocked, I explained to him that he was my friend and he meant the world to me but I didn't feel the same and I didn't want to kiss him and ruin our friendship! bottom line, I didn't fancy him. Later I got to thinking I should give him a chance as he was a kind, gentle, loving person. We got together a week later, this was the first time I had not based my relationship on a sexual attraction and slowly I fell head over heals in love with him, and the attraction soon followed. He moved in with us and the whole gang lived together. He broke up with me after a fight 10 days ago and I'm crushed.

At 29 this must be my first true love, I fell in love with the person on the inside. Maybe it's a sign of growing up. My heart is truly broken and he won't speak to me, he said he wants no contact as it's too hard. We hugged and kissed the day we split but when it came to me leaving I got upset and said I couldn't speak to him. I've told him how I felt but he's just shut down, so I have to respect his wishes and leave him alone.

Anyone gone through similar?

squeakyduck

Sorry to hear that OP it's always hard breaking up with someone.

I think the only way to perk yourself up is to put your head down, work hard (you'll get the benefits) maybe take up a sport or a hobby? Just keep busy so you don't have to dwell on what happened too much as you will drag yourself into a depression. Go out with a few friends have a few drinks, treat yourself, when you are ready flirt! It's a simple way to boost your self esteem!

Someone new will come along, broken hearts are a way of life, some hurt more than others.

Maple

Moved from TLL, feel it better suited here.

Maple

harperlee

squeakyduck wrote: »

Sorry to hear that OP it's always hard breaking up with someone.

I think the only way to perk yourself up is to put your head down, work hard (you'll get the benefits) maybe take up a sport or a hobby? Just keep busy so you don't have to dwell on what happened too much as you will drag yourself into a depression. Go out with a few friends have a few drinks, treat yourself, when you are ready flirt! It's a simple way to boost your self esteem!

Someone new will come along, broken hearts are a way of life, some hurt more than others.

Thanks for your reply, I don't want anyone new. I want my bestfriend back. I am now going to counselling things are that bad, I haven't really eaten since its all happened and I can't stop crying, I have to worst anxiety you can imagine, I find it hard to go outside and my heart is in my mouth all the time when the door bell rings or my phone rings. I hate this it's been 10 days now and it's not getting any better. this is the longest we have both gone since we have knowen each other not to speak or see each other. It's so sad and upsetting I cant move forward.

caavan shooter

harperlee wrote: »

Hi,

I'm totally heart broken here. In the past I have had two serious long term relationships, I fancied the both of them like mad and was smitten with them both and was upset when the relationships ended.
This year after a hard lonely 6 months stuck at home with no job and no place of my own, I moved back after getting a job and I became good friends with a new group of friends. Myself and one of the guys became best friends.

One night out of the blue he told me he had feelings for me, I was shocked, I explained to him that he was my friend and he meant the world to me but I didn't feel the same and I didn't want to kiss him and ruin our friendship! bottom line, I didn't fancy him. Later I got to thinking I should give him a chance as he was a kind, gentle, loving person. We got together a week later, this was the first time I had not based my relationship on a sexual attraction and slowly I fell head over heals in love with him, and the attraction soon followed. He moved in with us and the whole gang lived together. He broke up with me after a fight 10 days ago and I'm crushed.

At 29 this must be my first true love, I fell in love with the person on the inside. Maybe it's a sign of growing up. My heart is truly broken and he won't speak to me, he said he wants no contact as it's too hard. We hugged and kissed the day we split but when it came to me leaving I got upset and said I couldn't speak to him. I've told him how I felt but he's just shut down, so I have to respect his wishes and leave him alone.

Anyone gone through similar?

well.im only 20 harper lee and i know thats very young but i read absolutely evrything you said there and i understand evry word you say,,also seeing a councellor/pschyarist and know exactly what your going through!
My other half and i broke up in around july and i havent been with anyone since,i cant seem ta get over it and it seems all my confidence is totally gone and dont know what to do. I know people say that times a healer etc but i genuinely dont feel im going to get over this!
do u mind me asking,,where you put on any medication??