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Feeling like a bit of a loser..

  • 24-10-2010 05:19PM
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm 17 and I'm a lesbian. I don't look 'typically gay' and my parents get really pissed off if I dress in any way masculine. Feel like a bit of an idiot asking this, but I'm just wondering, how on earth does anybody meet anyone outside of youth groups/bars? I have no gay friends and I'm only kind of half out (to my family and one or two friends who I don't speak to anymore, long story). I feel like a bit of a loser to be honest because all of my straight friends have boyfriends, and I'm going to be 18 this year and I've kissed one girl (and I was drunk then even) and I've never gone out with anyone. Is that not a bit weird? I'm going to be in college never having gone out with anyone!


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I can't give too much advice on where to meet other gay girls your age. Check if there is maybe a support group in your area, that you could meet and talk to others your age.

    My advice in on the not having been with anyone at your age. I was 21 before I even kissed a boy! I know I'm pretty rare but we do exist, I've written on other similar threads. Yes its easier for girls to get with boys at your age that with other girls, but I still struggled! And it didn't really have any bad affect on me at all. I did a bit of kissing the randoms in clubs and then I got a boyfriend at 22 and slept with him. Don't be worrying in anyway about lack of experience. Just because these things happen later for you doesn't mean anything in the long run.

    And if your planning on going to college you'll have so many opportunities. Most college have a gay/lesbian society where you can meet people. And once you turn 18 you can start going out to clubs and pubs and you will meet loads of new people. Just keep looking forward to that!


  • #3
    dory
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators Posts: 4,623 Mod ✭✭✭✭dory


    First off, I think you'd get a better response in the GLBT forum here, as many of the things you've written about are very common in the gay world.

    First up, going to college never having gone out with someone is perfectly normal. I'd say 60 - 70% of my class in college had never gone out with someone before college. It's especially common among gay youth as we tend to take a bit longer to discover who we are and then where we find other gay people. And it's even more common among gay folk from rural areas.
    So if you're gay and from a rural area you'll be among the 95% who have never gone out with someone before college. Many gay (and not gay) people don't even have their first kiss til they reach their mid-20s.

    As for where to meet people, it completely depends on where you are living. In Dublin there are groups, there are websites and support meetings that people from all over Ireland can use. There are gay sport groups. Personally I've never needed the gay events to meet people. If you meet someone and there is a mutual attraction you rarely need to find out if they're gay or not, you can tell with their mannerisms.

    Good luck!


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