Can't get over him, and miss him

LegacyUser

Men, well one man! Can't get over him, and miss him alot. When I'm on a night out and try to move on, all I can do is think about him and what we could have had. I have other things in my life that keep me busy, but then there are times when he comes into my mind, and it cuts through me like a knife. Like I say when I'm out, I can't move on as he keeps coming into my mind, and I feel heart broken again. I feel like this this evening and its horrible feeling like this, just pure heart broken, just feel like crying again. I guess I need to get this out, and maybe if anyone has any advice on this issue?

Tchaikovsky

Hi OP. Could you maybe give a little more background to your breakup?

Millions of people are/have been in your shoes, believe me, but it's a case of time being a healer.
Talk to family, friends, keep yourself occupied (go for a walk/run/any physical activity, do something creative). With your mind active on other things, you'll gradually forget about him.
Don't be hard on yourself, it's a natural reaction.

LegacyUser

Was it a bad break up and how long ago was it? Maybe if it was a good break up you could try contact him and see if theres anyway for you guys to start again?? Ive been in a similar position, i had broken up with a girl over something very very stupid but after a year i still wasnt over her so decided to contact her and we got back together, we've broken up since but we had drifted apart at that stage and breaking up wasnt that hard for either of us, we're still good friends actually

LegacyUser

OP here. Thanks for the replies. I have gone through this before, and know time heals it all, I am one of these people who needs lots of time. The difficult time is when I am on a night out trying to move on but would think of him, and feel like I am getting no where near been over him. I am not sure if advice is really why I came on here, but maybe just to let it all out, as people here are v nice! Just kind of lost, and "Stuck" at the moment, wanting to move on, but can't really

Princess Peach

I'm the same! I was on and off with my boyfriend for the last few months, but I know now since about last week that it is definitely over and I know I don't want him back. But I still can't stop thinking about him!

I want to move on and meet someone new, but every time I picture myself with a new guy, its always in some sort of situation where my ex is there and he gets jealous, if that makes sense!

I know people say it takes time, but it just seems to be taking ages for me. We were apart for all of the summer, and I couldnt get over him at all. We got back together for just a few weeks a little while ago, and now I know I dont love him anymore, but I'm still pretty down about it.

I guess thats not advice at all, just me doing the same as you! I guess the only thing I can say is that your not the only one, and plenty of people have been like this and gotten over it so there's hope. Just keep doing things that you like to try and keep your mood up, and no need to rush yourself to move on if your not ready. I'd like to meet someone new, but I want to be sure I'm giving the next guy a fair chance, and that I'm with him cause I like him and not to win some race with my ex.

LighterGuy

Op, as you know everyone is different when it comes to getting over another.

But can I ask a question - from the sounds of your original post, especially the line of "what we could of had", did he break up with you?
If so please realise alot of times the person who gets broken up with takes more time to heal then the person who does the breaking.

time thats all time one day you will wake up and he wont be in your head at all ! listen to songs that are about moving on i listened to shake it off by mariah carey kinda helped
get out and do some physical activity this will help with sleep and also release happy endorphins
good luck it sucks .

chainsaws

miserablethisevening wrote: »

Men, well one man! Can't get over him, and miss him alot. When I'm on a night out and try to move on, all I can do is think about him and what we could have had. I have other things in my life that keep me busy, but then there are times when he comes into my mind, and it cuts through me like a knife. Like I say when I'm out, I can't move on as he keeps coming into my mind, and I feel heart broken again. I feel like this this evening and its horrible feeling like this, just pure heart broken, just feel like crying again. I guess I need to get this out, and maybe if anyone has any advice on this issue?

Meet someone else.
Your relationship is over. Get over it and move on. There's no other way around it.
Best of luck

LegacyUser

Op it would help if you provided more information regarding the break up, was it a bad break up?? How long is the relationship over? etc.

LegacyUser

Hi OP, I don't think there's much anyone can do to make you feel any better, but you are not alone. I am in the exact same situation, I feel like I should be over him by now but it's just so hard, especially when I dream about him almost every night. It's been almost 4 months!:( I've tried to keep myself busy but there's this constant niggling feeling always at the back of my mind. I can't even talk to my friends about it anymore because I'm sure they all think I am/should be over him by now. I just feel like I/our relationship wasn't given a proper chance and I can't accept him ending things, hence the lack of moving on.
Sorry to hear you are going through this too, it's the most horrible feeling in the world. I hope you feel better soon.

barackbinladen

I say. Get in touch with him.He could feel exactly the same as you do. Just go for a spin or a coffee and tell him how your feeling. There loads of reasons to meet up.I just think you've tried to move on but you don't want to really. Because the life you could of had is still possible and worth it as i assume neither of you done something like the dirt. You have everything to gain and nothing to loose at all. Your telling all to boards members,when you should be telling him. Harsh I know but I feel strongly about that. Your being advised to move on by others thats fair enough but tell the guy how you feel first.If it's the end you can move on with peace of mind that its definatly time to meet new people. Until you do that you may always look back and wonder.

LegacyUser

OP here, thanks for all the replies it has helped. I have talked to it alot with my friends like one of the posters above, and don't want to burden them with it either. Feeling down about the whole thing or maybe its just one of those days I am having. I know I'll be ok, time is a healer, but the time to get over it can be just as hard.

LegacyUser

OP not sure the circumstances of how you broke up but as others have said he could be feeling the same. If he was the one to finish it then maybe not but you won't really know unless you get in touch.

I'm in a somewhat similar situation, was seeing a girl that I had been good friends with when the whole thing came to an abrupt end. Was a bit of a shock and was really hurt by how she did it by just blanking me for no reason that I could think of. I've seen her once in a pub since but as I was with another girl at that stage anything other than a hello was too awkward.

Have thought on and off whether I should get in touch, think about her an awful lot and wondered was there some misunderstanding that led to her cutting contact? I assumed that she'd just changed her mind, was really confused given she'd said a lot that would have pointed in the other direction. Guess there's a little bit of pride in there as well, if she didn't mean what she said than not worth the heartache of contacting her.

But... there is a much bigger "what if".

Anyway just something to consider. Maybe he feels much the same but hasn't contacted you for reasons of his own. Impossible to guess from what you've said.

LegacyUser

A guy in a similar boat.

Me and my girl (or my ex) broke up a year ago. What was going well for 9 months seemed to just disintegrate overnight.

Communication wasn't the best in our relationship in all honesty, but i still love her to this day and to be honest I've sort of given up on meeting anyone else as despite all the relationship frailties, i felt a spark that i never had with anyone else.

We got back in touch over the summer and were keeping sporadic contact up to recently where the communication line seems to have been severed again and regrettably i blanked her over the weekend...i know its foolish and petty but to me it felt more of a defense mechanism at the time......its the whole fear of rejection really. i got a text late that night from her and while it was still a bit vague it implied that things were finished.

i really don't know what to do in my own situation. i may have burned the bridges unfortunately. deep down i want to try again but i feel the chance is probably gone. will be tough to move on as i cant imagine hitting the same level with anyone else. its a long time since we broke up but she came in to my life again recently i suppose all the old feelings were brought up again

if there is any way the op can patch things up then i hope she can and bid her good luck and learn your lessons from my situation and try not to act the prat like i did