Best thing to tell kids when you can't afford presents?

grizzly · 22-10-2010 12:59am #1

What's the best way to do this? Santa thought you've enough toys and went to see children without any?

kona · 22-10-2010 1:28am

why not buy something small and inexpensive rather than encouraging them to have a pick of anything in a toyshop?
or even consider secondhand stuff?

Sharpshooter · 22-10-2010 1:43am

grizzly wrote: »

What's the best way to do this? Santa thought you've enough toys and went to see children without any?

I'd say there are a lot of parents worrying about that atm, grizzly.

What age are your little ones?

We can be more helpful to you if we know their age, while we try to come up with a reasonable explanation for Santa not delivering what was asked for.:)

dolphin city · 22-10-2010 7:47am

Seriously, I'm sure if you went to V de Paul they would provide you with some toys for your child - nobody wants to see a child without a toy at christmas - do you not have any family that could help out.

dolphin city · 22-10-2010 7:50am

also, there is no harm in saying that Santa can't afford those presents this year (if the present is expensive) . It has been said to kids for decades. and it teaches them that they cannot have everything they want.

they will be happy with the alternatives.

They will either be too young to know or old enough to understand.

Its not a problem if you think positive about it.

Kids are not supposed to get everything they ask for - if they do, they will never learn to appreciate anything.

stiffler123 · 22-10-2010 7:53am

Tell them that the elves mightn't have it, so ask if the kids to pick a second present just in case. If the second thing is more expensive though- you're screwed!

grizzly · 22-10-2010 9:47pm

They're 4 and 6, but they're not mine. A friend who lost his job last year and his wife just went on a two day week.

Thanks for the replies

smithwicks · 22-10-2010 9:53pm

I would club together all my mates and hit them for 5-10 euro. No embarrassment in such a request these days as everyone understands there is very little between having and not having a job.

Karma

immature ejaculation · 22-10-2010 9:58pm

Long gone are the days of a coloring book and crayons! Second hand presents is always a good way to go or 1 big present both of them could get use out of might work if the budget would stretch.

milli milli · 23-10-2010 6:58am

My Dad was unemployed in the 80s and there was three of us. We had no money but we always had lots of presents at Christmas. My parents put us first over everything. If you put x amount away each week, it will amount to something. Forego the drinking - it's a waste of money and a child's happiness is more important than a night in the pub.
Kick the smoking habit. Sorry to be tough but I'm amazed at the amount of people who say they have no money for this or that, and they spend €100 on a night out.

OP I'm sorry to hear of your friends double loss. I hope he is getting the support he needs

23-10-2010 7:08am

milli milli wrote: »

My Dad was unemployed in the 80s and there was three of us. We had no money but we always had lots of presents at Christmas. My parents put us first over everything. If you put x amount away each week, it will amount to something. Forego the drinking - it's a waste of money and a child's happiness is more important than a night in the pub.
Kick the smoking habit. Sorry to be tough but I'm amazed at the amount of people who say they have no money for this or that, and they spend €100 on a night out.

OP I'm sorry to hear of your friends double loss. I hope he is getting the support he needs

I'm sure the OPs friend is putting his kids first. Do you honestly think anyone would want their kids to go without presents at christmas? but you know, food and shelter and heating is more important than presents so really and truly, get a grip telling people to "kick the smoking habit" and "forego the drink". You're making an awful lot of negative assumptions about the OPs friend.

OP, its gonna be tough for an awful lot of people this year. St. Vincent de Paul are a fantastic charity who are there to help people in need. Tell your friend not to be embarrassed to ask for help. At 4 & 6 yrs old small presents are enough anyway. At that age they're still delighted with anything they get so, as had been used by many families for very many years "Mammy and Daddy have to give Santa the money for the presents" Kids are more understanding than you think.

flower tattoo · 23-10-2010 7:10am

ebay ebay ebay

my kids have known for years that if they get 'used' presents they can get more presents than if they always get brand new stuff.

Actually off to gamestop now to see if there are second hand ds games - they know they're not getting new ones EVER!!

milli milli · 23-10-2010 7:32am

Deleted User wrote: »

Do you honestly think anyone would want their kids to go without presents.

The title of the OP's post states "When you can't afford presents"
I am taking that to mean ANY presents. He didn't say "When you can't afford BIG presents" I'm sorry that I was making assumptions about the smoking and drinking but I do know a lot of people that would put the fags or a nite out first, over everything.

Andrew33 · 23-10-2010 7:44am

I remember getting a second hand record as a christmas pressie when I was a kid and we didn't even have a record player!

Start off by telling them the good news, that they're not going to be sold for medical experiments etc...

MarkR · 23-10-2010 7:47am

If you can give an idea of what the kids want, it might help.

D4RK ONION · 23-10-2010 11:21am

To those making light of the subject, please take your attempts at wit elsewhere. This is a sensitive issue and one I imagine is going to affect a lot of families this year.

Any more "funneh" comments will earn infractions. I don't like to give them out, so please don't give me any reason to.

D4RK ONION · 23-10-2010 11:25am

OP, as someone has already mentioned, the internet is your friend. Try to convince your kids to ask Santa for surprises, because he isn't sure how much money he has this year. My parents always used to tell us they had to pay Santa for some of the toys he brought us, and we bought it!

Go onto ebay, you're sure to find some fantastic bargains on the likes of DVDs, lego, dolls etc. Aldi and Lidl often have some very good deals on toys and stuff, it would be well worth buying as much as you can in there.

littlebitdull · 23-10-2010 11:33am

I think most - if not all - parents are in a similar boat this year.

I would deffinately go down the ask santa for a suprise this year, and bargain hunt like mad.

A friend of mine a few years ago was in the process of moving house, and had done all the christmas shopping ahead of time, as the house move was going to be in early december. All was prepared, and put away safe ready to be taken out on christmas eve.

Except that on christmas eve it could not be found anywhere! All of the Santy stuff missing... so you can just imagine the panic in the house, and barely any shops still open.

So they made do with the little they could find and scrape together on the night. And do you know in all honesty the kids were just as happy the next morning. Her elder two - aged 14 & 15 at the time were astonished - but the two youngest ones - aged 6 & 8 - were as happy as any other christmas morning.

So it was a lesson learnt for her.

Following that lesson I cut back dramaticly last year. And Santa brought many necessities to this house. Including duvet covers, dressing gowns, pyjamas - stuff which I would not normally wrap up from Santa ..... and they were recieved with as much joy and excitement as any of the more expensive items I had purchased other years.

bradlente · 23-10-2010 12:42pm

A 4 and 6 year old wouldn't appreciate the extravagance of pricy presents as much as say a 10 year old or a teen.Ebay as suggested by someone earlier is a great idea.

storm2811 · 23-10-2010 12:47pm

I'd agree to try and get some second hand presents or maybe just a lot of little ones, cheap enough like.

Next year though if they're in the same situation they could try out a celtic hamper catalogue(I think that's what it's called). You pay a few euro a week for the stuff and it's usually paid off by Christmas.

renelounger · 23-10-2010 1:03pm

i have a six year old and a two year old and last xmas found it very hard. so both kids asked for suprises and i did up little hampers. the two year old got colours, toy cars, bob the builder picture for room, socks, sweets etc. the six year old got things for baking, ingredients from tesco, cook book for kids, art supplies. most of the presents were bought in the 2 euro shop but when you put them in a basket with a ribbon they look great. we spent xmas day baking fairy cakes, painting pictures, etc. it was a great day and year for us. there are more important things than the big presents. its what you make of the time you have with the kids that they will remember.:D

phasers · 23-10-2010 1:08pm

I think I'd say some thing about Santa deciding that surprises are much more fun, and then just keep an eye on Adverts/ebay/Smyths for good deals!

Smyths have a "bargain bin" in their shops a lot now where they sell cheap toys that have damaged boxes or were return items, it could be a good place to watch. €2 shops are also deadly, especially for younger kids.

Bubs99 · 23-10-2010 1:13pm

I agree with some of the others, the internet is great for loads of cheap and funky little gifts rather than one big expensive one.
Instead of ebay, try www.play.com, it is the best and you dont have to pay for postage either...ever. Theres so many things to buy on it plus you can sell too.
Good Luck.

candy-gal1 · 24-10-2010 7:21am

Sorry to hear that

, imho you can just say that Santa has beeb running out of equipment so it will have to be a small present this year.

Paige Turner · 25-10-2010 10:23pm

D4RK ONION · 26-10-2010 12:02am

Adding a thanks isn't enough, that's a fantastic post Paige Turner. GG

:)

dolphin city · 26-10-2010 8:35am

so okay, first of all the kids are only 4 and 6 - they're babies. They do not need top of the range stuff - they will be happy with whatever they are given if you put the right spin on it. A simple explanation at this age is enough - Santa didn't have time to make the Big fire engine, but gave you this instead. They will love anything Santa gets them at this age. They don't have the sense to know otherwise. It all depends on the parents and what they are telling them.

Second of all, they are not your kids - so how do you know that their parents have not got everything sorted already for them. Also, if you are that worried about it, could you not purchase something for them?

Third - I don't think hitting up friends and family for 5 - 10 Euro is a good idea. You don't know how other people are struggling at the minute and asking them for money for presents for very small children is a complete waste. The kids won't know any different from what they receive from Santa. Keep the asking for money for when the electric or heating gets cut off.

efb · 26-10-2010 8:47am

Again with the SVdeP.

We buy presents in work for them and they do a great job.

They're there to help, not judge and thank all that is good those days are gone with the Celtic tiger of the snobby nouvoux riche.

I grew up in the 80's and my dad lost his job it was tough with 6 of us.

I knew at 8 and only asked Santa for something small.

Tell ur friend to talk to the older kids. At 8/9 they know who Santa is.

dolphin city · 26-10-2010 9:45am

i thought the kids were 4 and 6 - did they age a few years over the weekend?

Hells Belle · 26-10-2010 10:11am

Mine are 3 & 6 and as we are going away early next year we've had to majorly cut down on the presents. I've told them Mammy & Daddy have to pay Santa and the elves to make the presents and they can have 1 big present each (€50 or under) and 2 small presents (under a tenner) and thats it. My house is overun with plastic tat as it is!

They are both fine with that in fairness to them and I'll keep them so busy Christmas day with baking, colouring and jigsaws that they won't notice they didn't get 15 presents each.

ilovesleep · 26-10-2010 2:41pm

Thats very tough indeed.
some ideas that i hope might help:

ask santa to do a treasure hunt and hide any gifts. Or maybe if santa was to leave gifts under the tree he could lock the room afterwards and do a treasure hunt with the key.

have a board game the family can sit down and play on xmas.

maybe santa could leave a dvd and popcorn.

Will definately donate to SVP after reading this thread.

Ciaramb92 · 26-10-2010 10:48pm

I know what it's like for money to be tight in a household but:

Could they not keep €10-€20 out of each months Child Benefit and try and save money on household things (I know they are probably doing this but if not). They would hopefully have €50 or so by Christmas.

They could get loads for that (books, jigzaws, clothes (pennys))..

I really hope they sort something out and that their money problems improve!

Moonbeam · 29-10-2010 3:09pm

jumbletown.ie and ikea have some really nice things for under a tenner.

Cutie18Ireland · 01-11-2010 3:41pm

When we were kids, my mam always said santa only gave toys to the poor children and that she had to pay santa for our toys..

Milly33 · 02-11-2010 3:21pm

Just incase anyone was in the Cork area. I am doing a big clear out have why too much that I do not use,and also I am a big kid so I have lotsa kids stuff..If anyone wanted some decent teddies or a few bits I have a big box full of things I can check to see what is there..

magentas · 02-11-2010 3:54pm

renelounger wrote: »

i have a six year old and a two year old and last xmas found it very hard. so both kids asked for suprises and i did up little hampers. the two year old got colours, toy cars, bob the builder picture for room, socks, sweets etc. the six year old got things for baking, ingredients from tesco, cook book for kids, art supplies. most of the presents were bought in the 2 euro shop but when you put them in a basket with a ribbon they look great. we spent xmas day baking fairy cakes, painting pictures, etc. it was a great day and year for us. there are more important things than the big presents. its what you make of the time you have with the kids that they will remember.:D

I love this post...the last line speaks volumes

I know of people that spoil their kids rotten with big expensive presents and are almost competitive with other parents about what they buy/ how much they spend

I realise it must be so hard for parents that are cash-strapped this year but kids will remember the fun time they had playing games, painting pictures or baking with mom or dad on christmas morning quicker than any present

memories are priceless:)

the_syco · 02-11-2010 4:42pm

grizzly wrote: »

his wife just went on a two day week.

I hope she's aware that she can claim (welfare-related) monies for having her work week reduced.

Check the adverts.ie free section - they may spot something that the kid has looking for.

Clothes that they want can be a present. It allows the parents to cloth them, and also let them think that it was part of Santas present. I know clothes are not free, but if the parents have bought them clothes, rather than just giving the clothes to the kids, give them clothes "via Santa".

Milly33 · 03-11-2010 12:51am

I was just looking in that box of stuff and I have the Enchanted DS game which is in the box with all the manuals and in perfect nick I played it once and can clear everything on it if anyone would like it. And a pilates DVD the 10 minute solution - Laura Hudson. Which I watched once so tis in perfect nick too if anyone would like that

elvis jones · 03-11-2010 9:03am

The person above who mentioned time is spot on, ok my little fella is only 14 months ( and another one on the way ) so Santa isn't a big deal yet. But santa has put a limit on the spending so January won't be a month of eating bread and water.

Whats more important to us is time off with him at Christmas, i work 2 jobs all year and have a long daily commute so a full week off to play with him is worth more than any toy. I can tell that by thr way his face lights up when i come home in the evening.

I've seen other family members spend silly money at Christmas in the past and borrow to buy toys that just sit in the corner days later.

Kids just want something to open that morning, it doesn't have to be the latest thing or what their friends get. As mentioned above use ebay, 2nd hand and the best of all the old suprise.

I hope all goes well for the OP's friend and family and you remember Santa don't have the bring the earth and stars to see a childs face light up:)

Butterflylove · 03-11-2010 2:10pm

My sister has two girls and a boy, for the girls PJ's and slippers,bits of jewellery from pennys who also they have cute handbags etc for next to nothing!

And toy cars, books, secondhand ds games for her little lad, also it the child wants a bike ask around you'd be surprised how quick some kids grow out of their my Little brother passed on his we sprayed with spray paint got loads of ben 10 stickers and nephew was none the wiser, he loved it!

The Euro shops have great little dolls with outfits etc for only two euro.

I use to buy the girls dress up clothes when they were younger -all the costumes on sale after halloween

For people who are saying can you not put something away a week for the year a fiver a week only amounts to 260 at the end of the year the price of some presents are crazy the 260 would just cover one!

I know I would just manage a fiver a week, and I dont have any kids (yet)

To answer actually question I heard a friend say to her son well its a recession for santy too, and limited what he could ask for if they picked something to big and something else make sure its something they really want and state that they cant get anything else if they chose this as, santy had loads of other kids to get to this year. My sister also uses this approach makes the child really think about it and give you time to find it at a budget.

ntlbell · 03-11-2010 2:12pm

If you go to the SVDP they will generally or have been known to in the past provide you with some gifts for the kids.

Chicken Run · 04-11-2010 11:46am

magentas wrote: »

I know of people that spoil their kids rotten with big expensive presents and are almost competitive with other parents about what they buy/ how much they spend

I realise it must be so hard for parents that are cash-strapped this year but kids will remember the fun time they had playing games, painting pictures or baking with mom or dad on christmas morning quicker than any present

memories are priceless:)

Completely agree with this !!
The Christmases that my little girl remembers are the ones where we played snowballs in pyjamas and wellies at 8am or had toasted marshmallows and selection pack chocolates for breakfast, rather that what she GOT.

OP - for 4 and 6 year-olds, silly stuff, the stuff that mum & dad wouldn't normally let them have given by Father Christmas is a good start.
Joke shop type things like whoopee cushions, squirty flowers, etc went down well.
Places online like Hawkin's Bazaar http://www.hawkin.com/ and Stockingfillers http://www.stocking-fillers.co.uk/ I've used in the past

But take the time to have a laugh with them and make the memories that will last long after the presents are covered in dust.

weatherguy · 06-11-2010 9:22pm

Milly. You are very generous. A giver.
In a perverse sort of way maybe this Christmas will bring everyone back down to earth and realise what Christmas is all about.
For years I've resented the fact that the festive season is a piss up for adults and materialistic for children.
I loved xmas as a child. We didn't get much, but I have really happy memories of the parties, the games we played, the laughs, watching TV.
Feeling wanted and cosy with my lovely parents with a blazing fire and beautiful xmas tree.
We would go for a long walk around Howth in our wellies and mackintoshes on Christmas morning which was usually wet. We'd visit relations in Malahide, Sutton and Clontarf. We'd be back home by 1pm and my Gran and Grandad, who lived with us, would have started the dinner.
My mam and dad always had time for us.
I remember however the other side.
An uncle and aunt always had to be better than the rest of their siblings in what they gave their children. They were also heavy drinkers, not just at Christmas but during the year too. You see, their rationale was to buy their three children very expensive pressies and then let them skidaddle off to play while they got sozzled.
I remember visiting their home one xmas morning at around 11.30am. Their kids were crying, cowering under the stairs as we arrived while their parents were having a blazing row in their dining room unaware one of their kids let us all in.
It was so embarrassing.
When they visited our home for a xmas party, they always liked to tell what they got their kids and how much it cost.
i don't go near them now. I still keep in touch with their children who turned out lovely people. But their mother and father are alone in their large house with all mod cons but no true spirit.

Capt'n Midnight · 09-11-2010 2:52am

young kids will probably spend as much time playing with the box as with the toy

remember how little you had as a kid ( ask your parents ) christmas is not about lining the pockets of multinationals

My Uncle used to give us books or book tokens, after a while it was the best present (for me)

you can reuse toys , one year I got a castle that my grandfather made for my father, one of my cousins got it later

littlemis · 12-11-2010 2:51pm

When you cant afford too much Santa ,try telling your children that Santa has lots more children this year, as you count as many countries as you can and don't forget to include all the new babies...If their school is involved in the Christmas shoe box appeal,then remind them that Santa has to visit those children...better yet start your Santa shop all year round most shops do work on the deposit system.....the trick is only pick and pay off one item at a time,that way you don't get in dept and Christmas,birthdays etc. are covered in advance....also buy 2nd hand...My children have never got what they wanted from Santa on the year that they asked,they may get it the following year,and never once has there been a complaint,they are just happy that he came.....:)

baby and crumble · 14-11-2010 2:28pm

I don't know if this helps anyone, but look at the website instructables.com (Link)

You could easily make up a pack of stuff to make some of the stuff in there and print out the instructions, and not only will the kids make something cool and have stuff to do on Christmas day, most of the stuff is really amazing, it's hard to believe people come up with it!

I know a lot of my presents this year will be made by me as per instructions on there. Needs have as needs must. I think a lot of people are taking stock in the last few years and realising that materialism isn't the way to go...

Plus, I agree with posters who've already said that Christmas for kids, for anyone, is about the atmosphere and memories from the day. My favourite Christmases as a kid- I couldn't for the life of me tell you the presents I got but I remember the days vividly!

limerick_lady · 15-11-2010 3:11pm

Wow - this thread has made me feel so fortunate not to have trouble buying my wee lad (14 months old) his christmas pressies this year, not that he'll notice the size/value anyway. since reading it yesterday, I've decided that we're going to get him something very small (and encourage both sets of grand parents to do the same) and give a donation to VdP.

Thanks for reminding so many of us of the important things at christmas!

Best thing to tell kids when you can't afford presents?

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