Want to move out

LegacyUser

I'm living at home at the moment, and it's ok I suppose, no serious problems or hassle.
I have always shared a fairly small room with my sister and it just feels like it's getting smaller and smaller. I am getting very snappy with my siblings also, I have been feeling like I need to break away from the family unit for the past while. I am the eldest of a fairly large family just to give you some context.

So I've been thinking that moving out might help with this. I'm 23 have a job (retail) and am currently doing a part-time college course.

The thing is, I don't know how to tell my parents about this. My mother has said to me before that she expects me to live at home until I get married! So I'm not sure how to go about it with her. I think my Dad will go with whatever my mum says. I was considering setting up viewings etc and then telling them, but would that be too sudden? On the other hand if I said to them that I was considering it I think they would try to dissuade me.

What should I do? It just seems to be a fairly big scary step and I'm worried about how to go about it without pissing them off.

Thanks for reading.

niceoneted

Can you afford to live away from home ie cover rent, bills, social life etc.
You are an adult so it is your decision. Find a place and then tell them your moving out. Tell them you need some space and you feel at this age of your life that you deserve a room and some space of your own.
If that fails you could always tell them your getting married, - sorry couldn't resist.

LegacyUser

I have always shared a fairly small room with my sister and it just feels like it's getting smaller and smaller.

wow op still sharing a room at 23?! thats a bit much, is there any way you could at least ask your parents if you could have a room of your own? At 23 i'm very surprised that they think its ok for you to have to share a room tbh, i know its their house but surely they would understand you need a bit of privacy as an adult!

What should I do? It just seems to be a fairly big scary step and I'm worried about how to go about it without pissing them off.

Op you're 23, do you really want to be 30+ and still sharing a room with your sister?!!, i think maybe its time to move out, get some independence, privacy. I don't see how its being unreasonable to want you're own space at 23! I know its hard being the eldest because parents tend to set standards for siblings through you, but just tell them straight that you need your own space, and want your own independence! I mean its highly unlikely all your brothers/sisters are going to live at home until they get married! One of you has to be the first to leave, your parents will have to get used to it at some stage, so why not now?

Knasher

I'd have to disagree with niceoneted. You are an adult your parents need to get used to you acting like one. You should tell them that you are considering getting a place. They may try to talk you out of it, but in the end you just need to be firm and press ahead. Above all you need to be calm about it, if you get drawn into a fight over it you will only end up feeling guilty and talking yourself out of it. In the end its your decision, you can explain your reasons for making it if you want but you absolutely shouldn't ask their permission to do so.

I honestly think that going behind there back is only putting off a confrontation and exacerbating it. It sends them exactly two messages, one that you don't care what they think and two that you are acting childishly and impulsively and therefore not ready to live on your own. Obviously neither is true and you need to convey this to them.

Just my two cents, and good luck with your move.

LegacyUser

So I had the chat with the parents, and while supportive at first my mum then went on to say that I had to prioritise my life, my course or moving out. I don't see how my moving out would mean that I would have to give up my course (I wouldn't do it anyway, I have wanted to do this for years).

She also through some completely un-related issues into the mix, for no other reason than seemingly to get her point across. In fairness to her she did have some valid points, such as that I should consider what I am leaving at home is so bad that I feel I need to move out, and having to think logically about money and all that. She has suggested converting the garage so that I would have my own room and space and I would be able to concentrate on college instead of having to worry about work and money. But at the same time it would take a few months to get that done.

Im just so confused about the whole situation, I would love to move out but now I'm considering staying put just because it looks like the easier option.

Thanks for the replies. Hopefully I'll get sorted sometime soon whether it be living at home or in a house.