Oh god

LegacyUser

I have finally told my husband that I think our relationship is over. He said he was with me 100% if I chose to work on it. I told him I didn't think I could commit to that which is the truth. By doing this, I ended it.

I feel physically ill.

Please God someone tell me that this feeling will get better.

LegacyUser

It will get better. x

Are you positive that it's what you want, though? The end of a marriage/relationship is always sad and you're bound to feel fairly crap, but is there even a tiny sense of relief?

miec

Hi Op

Ending a marriage is a traumatic thing, but somehow I get the sense you did right by yourself. You were being very honest but being honest is not easy, it takes great courage. I'm not surprised you are feeling ill. It will get easier but there may be rough times ahead emotionally, what you have done is very difficult. I wish I could offer you more, I ended a marriage a long time ago and it was hard but I did the right thing (despite feeling sick and traumatised initially).

LegacyUser

Thanks to both of you. I'm fairly sure this is what I want. I just feel so awful and sad. My husband has gone out and I don't feel its even my place to ask him where he is. I just hope he's ok. We've been together since we were so young. I've never even had a proper break up as he was my first proper boyfriend. God this hurts so much.

LegacyUser

Thats a sad situation. Do you mind me asking why the marriage broke down? The reason I ask is that I'm in a similar situation in that my wife and I are childhood sweethearts and very happy now but if there was something I could do now to avoid a similar situation...

LegacyUser

I went through this over a year ago, all i can say is you will in time feel better. Its not going to be an easy time, but you will move on. I never thought id get over my break up, i was so low for so long, but i did. You need to have good friends and family with you at a time like this and don't discount something like councilling ( i did for ages ), its one of the things that got me through the whole thing. Anyway, take it easy on yourself, you will move on, and remember your not on your own, plenty of people have lived to tell the tale.

LegacyUser

I didn't sleep a wink last night. Cried off and on all day. Gave in and told my husband that I wanted to give us another chance. He says he will do this. I do WANT to try but I can't make the feelings I had for him come back. How can I move forward from here? I'm not sure where exactly things went wrong. We started doing less and less things together and ended up here. He feels that he has tried hard for us over the last few months and he has, which helps him in moving on. I don't feel that I have tried hard enough so that's why I can't give up yet. I know this is all over the place. I am all over the place.

Moomoo1

what_have_i_done wrote: »

I didn't sleep a wink last night. Cried off and on all day. Gave in and told my husband that I wanted to give us another chance. He says he will do this. I do WANT to try but I can't make the feelings I had for him come back. How can I move forward from here? I'm not sure where exactly things went wrong. We started doing less and less things together and ended up here. He feels that he has tried hard for us over the last few months and he has, which helps him in moving on. I don't feel that I have tried hard enough so that's why I can't give up yet. I know this is all over the place. I am all over the place.

I must say, it sounds like you are affected by it much more than he is, given that you are the one who wants to break up.

tinkerbell

OP, have you tried couples counselling?

LegacyUser

I have just started seeing a counsellor this week and he is seeing his own one. Hopefully at some point we will be able to go together and try and stop hurting each other.

AWard

Counseling will help if you want it to, or it will justify your reasons for leaving if that's what you are looking for. You have to be honest about your motives for going...it is to check one more thing proving you "gave it your best"?

Things can change from a complete train wreck of a relationship to something worthwhile and strong if both people give 100% honesty and effort. It won't be easy, but it can be done....*IF* you want it to be.

Peace and I wish the best for you guys...if you didn't feel anything when you did it, then that would be a lot more abnormal. Feeling pain can mean you take the relationship seriously.

I am a friend

Its not fair on your husband when you keep changing your mind. Maybe he didnt come across as too upset by it as he expected you to back down. Have you done this before?

LegacyUser

Never did this before. It's not the kind of thing I would do. Believe me I recognise how head wrecking this is. I'm just so confused myself. I'm just trying to get my own head together at this stage before I do any more damage.

Beruthiel

Go talk to a professional so you can get your head together.