Only one, am i okay?

LegacyUser

Hi, I am a 24 yr old male, I have only had one serious relationship in my life and she is the only girl I have ever had sex with. Most of my friends have had alot of sex, the usual one night stands, lots of different girlfriends etc. I am considered good looking and my ex girlfriend was shocked to find out I was a virgin when she got with me, that was when I was 21. Basically I am worried that the next girl i get with will think I am weird or something because I maybe wont be as experienced as someone my age should be. Opinions please. Thanks.

LighterGuy

There is nothing wrong with being 24 and only having one sexual partner.
As for future partners? ... dont tell future girls you have only had one partner unless they ask. Which of course such a question is usually only asked after quite a few dates in, most commonly when in a relationship. So dont worry op. If someone is willing to date you, number of partners wont come into it then.

To be so frank only a slapper would have an issue with you having one partner. Remember that.

Zen65

abitworried wrote: »

I am worried that the next girl i get with will think I am weird or something because I maybe wont be as experienced as someone my age should be.

There are no targets for sexual experience. You are as experienced as you are, and adding numbers to your CV does not make you any more desirable as a partner.

You should enjoy your relationships for what they are, and for the pleasure each brings. Striving to reach a "headcount" of sexual experiences cheapens your life and your experiences, and in the long run will not bring you any increased happiness.

Be at peace,

Z

solovely

You've only had one serious relationship in your life, and you're only 24. I would say it's perfectly normal and nothing to be weird or embarrassed about. I was the same at your age, and I would say 70% of my friends were (not that all would admit it).

I'm sure if you do tell the next girl, she will be totally fine about it, and if not, she's not worth bothering with.

My advice would be don't make a big deal out of it in your own head, as then when it comes to the next time you could be nervous or anxious and your own fears and anxieties might turn what is not a big deal, into one!! Just chill and enjoy being 24 and single and the great life opportunities that will bring!

LegacyUser

I'm a girl and I'm in the same position as you OP! I'm 23! i'd be delighted to hear my new boyfriend had only had one sexual partner, and that was within a relationship - I spose i'd think of it as meaning that it's not something you treat really lightly/you're respectful to women. so don't worry about it at all!

Princess Peach

I honestly would not be bothered if a guy told me he had only one partner. To be very honest, I do get a little turned off by guys who have slept around a lot. It always worried me that I will just be another notch on their bedpost. In your next relationship I think you should be honest and tell her. I don't see how it would be any kind of problem, not being as experienced. Sex is different with everyone, so it will take time for you to learn what a new girl likes, and the same for her with you. If you are in a relationship with the girl you are sleeping with, you'll get lots of experience from that.

Maybe girls who have a lot of one night stands like a guy to be more experienced, but for a girl who is looking for a relationship, I dont see how it would be any problem, because she's not with you just for the sex!

LegacyUser

Like one of the previous posters, I'd prefer my boyfriend to have only had one partner that meant something to them, than 30 who didn't... sex is fun, but it has to have SOME meaning for me, too...

Dudess

LighterGuy wrote: »

To be so frank only a slapper would have an issue with you having one partner. Remember that.

Pity Boards doesn't have an "Unfounded nonsense" eraser.

At the same time though, OP, there is absolutely nothing wrong with having only one partner - and if you were in a relationship with her and the sex was regular, well you have had more sex than many people your age who have had a number of one-night stands. Amount of partners isn't necessarily commensurate with sexual experience at all.

LighterGuy

Dudess wrote: »

Pity Boards doesn't have an "Unfounded nonsense" eraser.

Live in the real world.

Some women in this world have slagged a guy for his performance in bed....or for having a small penis. Or what about the ever popular "he couldnt keep it up" ...

Sex is an important part of a relationship. It aint the be all end all tho. You could have great sex with someone who is devoid of any personality. Or someone who is a down right jerk.

So Dudess, if "slappers" isnt the right term for such people that would have an issue with the op only having one partner .... what would you call such women?

Lets be honest, I personally think majority of women wouldnt see an issue with it. But you know yourself some would. So what are they?

LegacyUser

Not that it helps you, but I'm 26 and still a virgin. At least you know women aren't afraid or disgusted by you. Just thought you should know that you could be worse off.

Dudess

Well "slapper" is an awful, misogynistic term, but it refers to women (and only women) who are extremely promiscuous, so what you're saying is, a woman who doesn't like the idea of a guy only having one previous sexual partner is automatically really promiscuous, and of course you've no way of knowing that for sure.

Sure, I would however consider a woman who sees this as a deal-breaker to be silly, shallow, bitchy etc.

RonFan

Dudess wrote: »

Well "slapper" is an awful, misogynistic term, but it refers to women (and only women) who are extremely promiscuous, so what you're saying is, a woman who doesn't like the idea of a guy only having one previous sexual partner is automatically really promiscuous, and of course you've no way of knowing that for sure.

Sure, I would however consider a woman who sees this as a deal-breaker to be silly, shallow, bitchy etc.

Derogatory terms like 'slapper' have a tendency to morph it's meaning into a general term for a female who engages in any negative actions, such as being silly, shallow, bitchy etc. That is what the poster meant by the term. The fact that it is exclusively female does not make it misogynistic. Unless your claiming that it's wrong that women are judged for having many sexual partners while men aren't. Which is ludicrous by any logical means.

Oryx

Guys this is not a discussion on the term 'slapper'. Keep all replies relevant and helpful to the op, please.