Performance Anxiety

LegacyUser

Been seeing this girl a while now and we've tried having sex a couple times now but when it comes down to it I can't keep the erection... I'm pretty much hard the entire time I'm around her, I think she's whopper, I'm grand when we're doing other things but just as I go to put it in it flops over like a dead fish.

I'm in no way experienced with sex so I reckon its a fierce dose of performance anxiety coupled with being really turned off by condoms. Any time I put one on I get distracted from the moment and it all goes pear shaped. She's suggested going on the pill which she seems more then happy to do, pending sti checks and all that jazz.

I'm still kinda worried it wont work, its becoming a vicious cycle, psyching myself out before the trousers come off...

I've been thinking of getting some viagra, having one good run at it to get rid of the anxiety and restore my confidence but was wondering if anyone was able to offer any other advice or solutions to the problem!

Thanks

Edit: Is V available over the counter or do I have to consult a doctor first?

Sardonicat

Could I suggest having loads of fun without intercourse for a while. Just take it off the menu altogther for now and review the situation in a few weeks time when you are more relaxed about eachother. Don't put pressure on yourself to perform and your girlfriend should'nt either.

Intercourse is not the be all and end all.

Have fun!

IrishEyes19

Op, how long have you been seeing this girl, its most likely just the fear of doing it. Not anything to do with your performance at all. Viagra I think is for people with actual problems of performance, but to be honest, you just sound nervous and perhaps you need to relax a little more before you go that far.

Wibbs

Performance anxiety. A global issue to all men pretty much. Those who deny it never crops up are on a par with those who claim they don't fiddle with themselves and only read playboy "for the articles". I;ve had the same with condoms. Latex anti viagra. Mainly cos if you're already nervous, then the "lets concentrate on your willy to put this yoke on" is not always conducive to erectile function. Viagra won't help as much as you think, save for the psychological. Which should tell you alll you need to know. IE it's psychological more than physical. The more you know each other the more this will pass.

While the "ignore intercourse for the moment" is very good advice, you know that in the back of your head it'll still be "I need to do the wild thang and she wants me to", so it's only partially true. The more you think about "stay hard, stay hard" the less it's likely to do so. Willies, the levelers of all men. IMHO go with the flow. You may have some hydraulic failure, but that will pass and before you know it, it will be rabbit time. The more chilled out you are the easier it's going to be.

I've had similar myself. One farcical one was with a woman I was well caught on. Gorgeous. I could have snogged her with all the lips on my face and sent out for reinforcements. Back at her place? Playing snooker with a rope/trying to stuff a marshmellow into a money box time. Colour me only scarlet. Taxi ride home? I was in such a solid state, my willy was well capable of leaning over the taxi guys shoulder and inputting my home address on his GPS. All in the mind. But that passed. Not without one following "it's not you, it's me moment" mind you:o:D. Try not to worry so much and it will all come good. Trust me on that.

Antheia

OP It sounds like you are over analysing. Focus on relaxing and enjoying yourself rather than your inexperience and nerves. Talk it through with your girlfriend, I'm sure she will be more than understanding. As the male posters have said, It happens to all men from time to time. Also suggest your girlfriend puts the condom as part of roleplay.