writing on here so dont contact ex!

LegacyUser

Hi guys,

Am 2 weeks out of a relationship, its killing me, but my ex ended it and there is no going back. All I do each day is fill time to make myself not contact him to ask to try again (its pointless as I know he wont and I dont want to make a fool of myself). I sound like a stalker I'm not, I am just so used to speaking with him every day and planning our evenings etc, now I feel very lonely and blank, going round in a daze!!

Anyone know these feeling I men, I know there are a few who have been in relationships that have ended?

IrishEyes19

Hi OP,

Breaking up is horrible. Especially when you're the person who has been broken up with, you're in that horrible position where you cant contact them and yet every moment you have, you're thinking about them especially when it was sudden and it hurt.

No contact really is the best rule. As especially in the early days of the break up, any contact you make will just annoy or make them feel uncomfortable and you could end being blocked or embarassed by that person.

It does get better. But for a couple of weeks, months depending on the length of the relationship, it is lonely and empty feeling. Rejection is a terrible thing, and when you are used to doing this together for so long, its almost like someone has died, such a terrible comparssion to make I know, but it really does feel like that sometimes.

The best cure for it, self improvement, I cant advise it enough and I mean, getting fit, so gym perhaps, buy new clothes if you can, go out with your GOOD friends, I dont buy into the "get trashed" advice, if anything its destructive, you dont want to make mistakes while drunk that you could regret or contact the ex and be humiliated when he doesnt reply, or if he sends a very cold answer to leave him be. But if you take up new interests, invest in some quality time for you to feel better about yourself because at the end of the day, every relationship that ends often isnt about losing that person, but in fact, that the person has rejected you, he's hit at your self eesteem and made you question it. And right now you need a good confidence and happy boost. Close friends can give you a hand with that, and take the time to enjoy time with them now, make plans with them and do thing you might have been able to do when not single.

nodirectionhome

Thanks, your right on everything, I am trying and it is getting easier, its been nearly 2 weeks, but after nearly 3 years and living together it's a big wrench, plus feel horrible cos I'm staying at my mam's till I can afford to move on and at 28 it's not very cool lol

R.D. aka MR.D

Hi!

I broke up with my boyfriend of over 3 years and had lived with as well.

Believe me it gets easier!! I did the breaking up but I thought that it would never get easier not contacting him.

But 3 months later and I think about him so so so much less. Like I might think about him twice a day and thats it!

I don't have the urge to contact him either, even when i see him online on facebook or whatever.

so hang in there!!!

music lover 2

Totally agree with all Irish Eyes 19 said.

I have never contacted an ex after we broke up and staying away from the booze had definitely helped me with this.Not saying i haven't thought about them, obsessed about them and wanted to contact them but no contact is the only way to go.

Its painful seems to go on forever for the first few weeks.What I found helped was getting a diary - writing down every day how I felt and marking the days off of no contact.We need need some outlet for our sadness and writng down how you feel can be very theraputic. I think it important to feel the sad feelings but not to stay stuck with them I know its easier said than done!!I also found a great article I will PM it to you as its very long but I read it every day.

Best of luck

LegacyUser

Hey there OP,

I'm pretty much going through the exact same thing as you right now. And it's okay to feel that way.
I know you may want to try again etc but end of the day, he ended it with you, so no matter how much you are willing to beg, would you really want to be with someone who doesn't feel the same about you as you do them? I tried this, and believe me, it's horrible.
The only advice I can give, is the advice that has been given to me. Do not contact each other, it makes things worse by pro-longing heartbreak.
It will be really hard, like all break ups are, but I promise you, it gets easier everyday.
Its been less than a week since me and the ex split and I'm surprisingly okay. I fill my days with stuff to do/people to see etc, however going to bed alone every night has been upsetting, but what can I do? - Move on from it.
Keep yourself busy, see your friends and family, and be strong. If you can get through one night alone, without contacting him, you can do it again and again and eventually you will find happiness again - because at the end of the day, you were perfectly happy before you met him.

LegacyUser

Op I'm in exactly the same place, and its been two months. She was the love of my life and it came from no where. It does get easier but its gradual, loneliness is the worst of it I find. Try and make a note of times when you're happy and stay busy.

What I do now is if I begin to get overwhelmed, have a good cry for 10 minutes then go for a walk to clear my head and put on some upbeat music when I'm back. It sounds crazy but i find it helps. if you want anyone to talk to feel free to PM me, not being able to let it all out is the worst so do talk to people who care about you. Its hard to see but it will get better

LegacyUser

op here, well it's been 10 days lol, feel like a recovering addict!! But it's starting to get a bit easier, there is no contact, and its staying that way. I know now I could never take him back, not that he will try anyway methinks!! Am starting to not think about him quite as much, but it's very hard. We had split a couple of times before, and it was a toxic relationship in it's own way, but I hadnt told anyone about our plroblems, neither had he, so everyone is totally shocked- explaining it to people is awful!!

LegacyUser

Hey there OP,

glad to hear things are getting better. and i feel the exact same when you say you feel like you're a recoving addict, I seem to be counting the days/hours etc since I had my last fix of him, so you're not alone feeling like that.
Best of luck to you x