Alone forever...?

LegacyUser

So I've just hit 40 and Im generally happy in my life. I'm a woman with a young child, own home, car, job etc. On paper, I'm a real catch!

But my child has taken up so much of my time over the past few years, that I feel like Ive only woken up lately and realised that I'm single. So I tried internet dating - I gave it a great chance, and met many men. I had two short term relationships (3 months) with them over the past while, and many dates, but realised that the men I was meeting were pretty socially inept. That's just my opinion of online dating - the men tend to hide behind the internet stuff, and are generally,amazing online and at texting, not great in real life (I'd appreciate if you didn't criticise me for this, as it is my personal experience of internet dating). I tried speed dating and I've done the whole meeting in pubs/clubs stuff.

So I don't know where to go from here. I've also done the whole 'joining a club' thing and havent met anyone there either.

I don't know what to say other than I must be a horrible person. Having said that, I have wonderful friends, and a great family and in my life, I'm generally 'liked'. Over a hundred people turned up for my surprise 40th recently, so I must be ok!! Ok??

I dunno. I'm just a bit lost at the moment, wondering it I'll be alone forever. My child is my life, as she has to be and I adore her, but that also seems to be a turn-off form some men. I feel like I've lost the boat sometimes....what to do???

LegacyUser

It sounds as if you are quite content with your life and the experiences of dating recently have not been that exciting for you. Are you just looking for someone because that is the way it should be, people should be couples? Just enjoy you life, your family, friends and daughter. You are not lonely and I don't see how it is so paramount that you meet someone just now.
Some people are happy being single too. Going through too many short-time realtionships can damage your daughter too, except for you. If you do not actually fall in love with someone I would advice you to give it a rest until something happens naturally. I do nor mean to sound too old-fashioned, but it may also give you a reputation to be a single mother who desperately wants some guy to hook up with. Try to look as if you actually enjoy being single, arent looking for someone and wait until your heart is really in it with starting a new relationship- for your daughters sake and yours. You should teach her independence and that a woman can be perfectly happy without a man.
If it is the sexual aspect you are missing from your life, that is a different story, but it sounds like if you just think you should have an OH because everyone that you know has one. I am a single mother too and I have been single for seven years without any sexual relationships, or even one night stands. I don't really miss it though, I flirt sometimes with guys that I meet, but would only go on a date if I was seriously interested and felt it in my heart that I could live with that person. That's just me, though. You have to make up your own mind how you want to find the right partner, all I am sayingis listen more to your heart in the first place and do not start relationships on a shallow basis of whatever.

force majeure

Its hard to know what to say to be honest as this situation your found yourself in is in fact very common. You are as you say blesses with a daughter you adore and a good number off friends. Only it can be hard seeing yourself tucked up on the sofa in the evening on your own and then off to a cold bed. As you have giving it your all the only thing left I can say is keep looking and keep in mind sometimes 'the one' is their in the most unlikely off places.
All the best FM:)

Mr. Loverman

I personally wouldn't bother with online dating.

Try to spend as much time as possible around people (do courses, join clubs, etc.) and you will meet someone eventually.

The worst thing you can do is stay at home with your kid wondering when you're going to meet a man. You gotta get yourself out there.

kjl

Well, you're not really alone are you OP, as you said you have a lovely child and great friends.