Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie

when is it the disease...

Options
  • 17-10-2010 3:08pm
    #1
    metrovelvet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,376 ✭✭✭


    And when is it just someone being a jerk?


Comments

  • Options
    #2
    looksee
    Registered Users Posts: 28,295 ✭✭✭✭looksee


    If I could figure that out my life would have been a lot easier for the past god knows how many years.


  • Options
    #3
    metrovelvet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,376 ✭✭✭metrovelvet


    looksee wrote: »
    If I could figure that out my life would have been a lot easier for the past god knows how many years.

    I guess I'll just have to offer it up.


  • Options
    #4
    Torakx
    Registered Users Posts: 3,831 ✭✭✭Torakx


    For me there is literally a reason for every single action or feeling that takes place in this existance.
    When somebody disrespects me i sometimes might take offence at first.But i then search for the reason that particular response or action occurred.
    Like if that person is conscious of the hurt they are causing and wether they FEEL they have the power to not act on their emotions or feelings or whatever it was that caused that action.

    Its just a way for me to create a massive amount of patience while i cool off and i find turning my anger or resentment into curiousity has gotten me to research these questions with enthusiasm and come back with sometimes solutions or just a good explanation that helps me if anything to cope with other peoples unreasonable or irrational behaviour.
    Worst case scenario i am not the one with a problem that is causing this action so i am better able to step away and see the situation as it really is and not take it too personal.
    No matter what was said i have the power of fore and hindsight and can see clearer if someone is being over irrational as an outsider looking in.

    Im presuming your supporting somebody who has an ailment and its becoming taxing.If its so i commend you for your patience and choice of outlet.I cant say alot about others using this forum for certain reasons, but i have experienced this situation and it can be quite taxing when i am trying so hard to understand why they do this irrational or apparently selfish thing while wondering am i being selfish for resenting that behaviour.
    Its certainly not selfish and more a byproduct, but boy is it challenging sometimes.

    Dont know if this is any use or applicable at all to your situation metrovelvet.Maybe your a counsellor?
    I find anyway exercise helps my mind rest(and get out that pent up frustration that wants to make me grind my teeth into my head) and a good diet really changed my mood and ability to take more mental and physical strain.
    If all else fails there is always a story that will make mine look like a picnic.
    I am chatting on a different forum for example with a young woman that lives at home with her disabled younger brother and senile father.
    Has no friends or social life, feels extremely lonely and must or feels responsible for taking care of both her brother and her father while working the bills and worrying if her dad will be able to sign the next check for the rent.With a low sense of self entitlement and depression and anxiety she is really struggling to just stay afloat.Poor girl :( even meds dont help and there isnt alot to advise in this case as she requires mostly support.I do encourage her to try get time for herself maybe yogo or something and she is considering getting something organised for herself.

    Not that i think we should rejoice in others misery but just that i find it reassuring when i know im not the only one out there going through this.
    I really love forums for this as its a fast easy way for people to reach out and just release.
    Forums are also my form of therapy i use for myself.Which is why nearly every post i make is from the heart and ussually way too long for what is expected or maybe required.
    Im working on making more contacts offline lately to get back into the swing of life so i wont feel the need to write so much and maybe get a little on peoples nerves here haha.
    Anyway whatever brought you to post that, i wish you well with your situation.


  • Options
    #5
    metrovelvet
    Closed Accounts Posts: 9,376 ✭✭✭metrovelvet


    Sorry- I meant disease in a more universal sense, like when a person has a mental illness like depression, npd, or an addiction like alcoholism, not just physical diseases.


  • Options
    #6
    Torakx
    Registered Users Posts: 3,831 ✭✭✭Torakx


    I did too :) For me it applies to anyone who is not quite themselves as they could be.I dont like to say normal or abnormal because thats relative to what you grow up being used to experiencing.
    Just from the very short and direct question it wasnt clear to me if you were dealing with a personal issue or just curious.
    Since i like to share anyway i figured il go with the former lol
    No harm done im sure :)

    Since you mention those other ones i believe they are more likely to apply anyway to what was saying since some of the ones you named really take a person out of who they "could" be.And sufferers in any mental or physical discomfort can very easy transfer frustration onto a target that just feels easier at that moment to release on.
    So when it happens to me either on a night out drinking or a friend or family member i ussually try to think of all i had posted earlier to calm down and relook at the motives so i can move on and not hold a grudge or harbour resentment.
    Resentment is the worst and im prone to it if i dont monitor my feelings and admit to myself they are justified fully but also the behaviour they are showing is also justified albeit in their warped view of reality.

    I guess because i used to live in many of those "realities" i have alot of personal experienceand memories of whatits like and i suppose its made me alot more patient than if i had a more or less run of the mill easy life.

    I look back at the dark parts of my past as a hardcore bootcamp for my mental constitution lol
    If i didnt see it in a positive light i would resent myself and others for that situation and never heal.I had both physical and mental illness all in the one go at age 23 which caused a major mental breakdown or as i say a mental reset.
    If it doesnt apply to yourself i will content myself with the idea that somebody in the future might peek at this thread for the reasons in my first post and find it similar or useful :)

    Either way its an interesting and valid question you asked.
    And i would be open to discussing it objectively as a topic of interest too.
    As in the effects of the things you mentioned and how we may think it effects the personality and when it really is just the personality.
    If you like that is.Im easy either way i just figured there was a reason for posting.although with 6k posts on boards maybe you were bored :)


  • Advertisement
Advertisement