Depressed abroad

LegacyUser

I could really do with some advice and equally need to get this off my chest.

I moved abroad over six weeks ago. Unlike the majority, I left a good job and good prospects to do so - I'm mid twenties, had worked solidly since leaving college (3+ years), figured travel was on the cards at some point, so myself and a friend in the same position got our year-long visas, saved up, handed in our notice and made the big move.

I think what made it easy to do so was viewing our trip as a progressive career step. I work in a field where options in Ireland are limited and the field is far more expansive, multicultural, colourful and by nature of it being a big country and city, job options would be far greater here - or so I thought.

I've not worked for more than six weeks now. I've sent out a million resumes, cold called and emailed as many contacts as I have found and followed up on any leads I had coming over here. The industry I'm trying to break into is incredibly tough and it really is about catching a break...one which just doesn't seem to be happening for me. I have a lot of experience from my job back home, but it just doesn't seem to be recognised or catching attention here and my lack of contacts makes it all the more difficult to get a look in for any of the jobs I've been applying for. Many of them I can't even follow up on as the organisations are so huge, I can't even find a number or name of who the hiring manager etc is.

I'm trying to stay positive and to be quite honest, failing badly. To make matters worse, the friend I came over here with got work within three weeks, she's been getting a huge amount of well paid freelance shifts at a big company and is off doing big interviews with other companies nearly every second day of the week. She's not doing anything different to what I'm doing, but her work would be of more of a technical nature, whereas mine is more editorial, more desired and competitive I suppose you would say.

I don't know what to do. My funds are running low so I feel constrained when it comes to enjoying myself here - I hate spending while I'm not earning and have to take rent, bills, phone, food etc into account for the next while and if nothing develops in the next while, I'll have run out by Christmas time. My best friend is coming to visit next week and as excited as I am to see her, I'm equally worried about how much it's going to drain my bank account - which is utterly sad. I should be thrilled at the prospect of spending a week with my best friend.

That's been another aspect too = I spend virtually all day every day in the apartment, applying for jobs online and have been isolated from friends and family. Obviously the only contact I have is skype, and my life back home would have been quite busy, social, a bit chaotic and always busy. I had NO me-time, whereas here I have so much of it I don't know what to do for myself.

To be honest, I worked so hard out of college that I feel it may have messed me up a little - my job was my life up until I left the country and I'm at a point now where I don't know who I am without work.

I feel as though I may be suffering from some sort of reactive depression. I can stay in bed until 2pm some days and literally mope about the apt all day. I'm eternally anxious and stressed about the lack of work and I feel no element of excitement at all about being in a different environment and culture. I miss home and I miss my former life. I don't even find pleasure in food anymore (and I'm a real foodie!) and can barely find the motivation to leave the house.

I've joined a gym (though I totally can't afford it) and want to get into some sort of a routine with that in the mornings and job searching in the afternoons, but I don't even know if I can summon up enough motivation for that. I know I'll force myself to do it though, if there's one thing I am it's a fighter.

I don't know. I suppose I'd just love to hear from anyone who may have been in this same situation before. I feel like I'm losing my mind and the procrastination, sleep ins, lack of work, lack of activity etc is making me lose all respect for myself. I feel as though I'm at the brink of something horrible and I need to help myself before I fall any further.

I suppose I just need to hear that it's going to get better, because right now I just feel like a big failure and let down and like it's never going to change. I feel as though I may have made a big mistake in leaving, but what do I have to go home to? I handed in my notice afterall.

Thanks for listening x

Ickle Magoo

If you think you may have depression, first and foremost you should make an appointment with your GP and discuss how you are feeling with them.

Is there any employment you could side-step into as a stop-gap until an opening comes along in your chosen profession?

littlefish

I don't think you are depressed as such but maybe down over the situation you are in.

Being abroad isn't for everyone. You seem like a career minded person and it is often easier in your home country to put that accross when applying for a job. Quite often when you are away people assume that you are there for six months or so and they tend not to hand the work to someone like that.

Maybe it would be an option for you to come home? Maybe put all this down as a holiday and have a think about where makes you happy.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the advice guys, it's a real help.

I suppose it's about time I started looking for something menial to tie me over. I've been avoiding that so far as I've wanted to focus 100% on the job search in my field - that's been my priority and in truth my reason for coming over here. I want to further my career and get some relevant experience so I can set myself up for coming home. You're right Littlefish in that I am very career-minded, so it's been hard to take the knock backs and the complete lack of response for the most part that I seem to be dealing with. I knew it wasn't going to be easy, but I really didn't expect it to be this hard.

So far I've had one interview - great feedback but 'overqualified' was the ultimate response - and a meeting with a contact for a job almost identical to the one I had back home, about getting some freelance work. I felt quite positive about that one, but I haven't heard anything back and it's been almost two weeks. I've emailed twice to no response. Patience is a virtue I don't have and I have almost written it off at this stage.

This whole experience is pointing to an underlying problem that I seem to have in how I let work define me. The lack of work, which is two months long at this stage, has utterly shattered my confidence and is nearly changing how I perceive myself. But everyone needs to work!

I don't want to have to come home with my tail between my legs. I made such an hurrah in the fact that I was leaving for a year and it would just feel like a massive failure to come home, I feel as though I would regret it. But my God a year of this seems more like a lifetime at the moment. I think I'd be coming home in a strait jacket!

But - and I don't mean to offend anyone - I really don't want to work in a cafe for a year over here. That wasn't my intention coming over here, plus I'd be utterly ****e at it, I haven't worked a job like that in years. And even the other Irish people I've met over here have said it's pretty tough to get something like that without experience. Am I going to have to face another soul-destroying job search on that one but for a job that I don't even want?

It's hard to know what to do really. Maybe I just need to be patient, or maybe I need to swallow my pride and get something, anything, to plump up my bank account, which is depleting at an alarming rate.

And Littlefish I think you're right - I don't feel as though I need to visit a doctor and get some sort of official diagnosis, it's probably more a case of letting all of this get to me more than it should, coupled with the loneliness and sudden radical change of lifestyle. I just really don't feel like 'me' right now and in truth this has been one of the most difficult and isolating experiences of my life. I'm going through it alone really as my friend is off working every day.

I think I just need to establish a bit of a routine for myself, get more exercise and get out of the apartment more. It's sad but I can't think of a single moment over here where I've actually enjoyed myself and I'm here nearly two months.

Thanks again for the posts. It's helpful just to get this all out.

LegacyUser

Hi

I was in a similar situation to you some time ago... ended up almost 3 months before I found something! Everyone else was working, I was running out of funds fast, trouble sleeping, became very anxious and down, so can understand your situation op!

I would be career minded too and wanted to build on my career. I did some cafe work for a few weeks and it did help, it didn't pay much but at that point it was more about my mental health! I enjoyed just having somewhere to go and having someone to talk to. It was only a few shifts here and there but felt more positive when I did that.

I also did exercise, if your in Oz the weather will be improving now. Parks and jog tracks are free. I know this is very difficult, it is expected to "be having a great time" and you just can't relax or enjoy yourself when your constantly worried about work / propects etc

Interviews are often just the luck of the draw, you will get something eventually, depends how long you can wait, if I hadn't gotten something I was def going to pack it in after the 3-4 month mark. good luck!

tenchi-fan

Hi
I went to australia a few years ago when I was in my mid-20s and didn't look for a job in my field. Funds ran low, and I came home.. biggest regret ever!

I'll point out where I think you are going wrong.

#1. Get a menial job - even a part-time, 20 hours a week job to keep you ticking over and gives you plenty of time to jobhunt. It can be good craic and it will pay the bills. It is a much better alternative than being unemployed for 3-6 months and coming home penniless.

I can't imagine how demotivating it can be for you to wait around your house all day for your friend to come home and tell you about her day. Even if you are in a dead-end job for a few months at least you will have something to talk about! And when you are eventually called to an interview you can discuss your experience, and tell the interviewer how you took the job while you were jobhunting .. it shows you are motivated, and that's what employers want to see.

#2. Get out of bed before 2pm. You know it's lazy and pointless and it's making you lose respect for yourself. You are obviously in a stressful situation and from personal experience my reaction can be to become lethargic and physically tired. Do yourself a huge favour and set your alarm for 8.30am every morning to be at the gym at 9. Have your workout, have a shower, and face the day with a positive attitude! Don't worry about the cost of the gym.. if you use it it's worth every penny.

#3. Stop spending all your time in your apartment. You would be much better off dropping cvs in to places in person even if it means a leisurely walk of a few miles with nothing else to do along the way apart from buying a cup of coffee. How bad does it look to a recruiter to see the applicant waited until 11.30pm to email their cv?!

#4. Budget for your friend coming. Tell yourself you will spend $200 max (if you can afford that much). Your friend is coming with plenty of money and is there for a good time. I'm sure you had your fun for the first few weeks but by now the party's over until you find a job.. don't forget that. No mon no fun It will do you no good to match your friend dollar for dollar, and spending too much time with them when you should be focussed on finding a job.

#5. Overqualified for a job?? It sounds like you didn't tailor your cv for the job. If dumbing down your cv is necessary to find a job, dumb it down. Each cv needs to be designed specifically for the job you want. I know people (myself included) who omitted their masters from their cv just to get onto the first rung of the ladder in a job.

Tomorrow's Sunday.. get up early and enjoy your day. But get serious about jobhunting on Monday

I honestly wish you the best of luck. I blew my opportunity a few years ago by making some of the same mistakes as you.

I'm heading off to Canada in a few weeks and I really want to be successful so I'll be taking my own advice.