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Cant Climax through Sex

  • 15-10-2010 2:39pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭


    I'm a guy of 29 and have a loving caring relationship tiwh my gf and we are very sexually active but we have one problem. i cant climax through intercourse. Shes saying nothing and is being awesome but I know its not just eating away at me. I had a circumcision done 2 years ago and havent been able to climax through sex since. I dont have the same sensitivity there that I used to have. Its driving me mad. I satisfy her and can make her climax but I think she feels she cant satisfy me but doesnt want to bring up the convo with me. I love her and I know she loves me and thats all that matters at the end of the day but I would like to get this sorted. Oral dont do it for me either. Only thing that does it for me is masturbation whether it be me or her that does it. Can anyone help?


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,204 ✭✭✭FoxT


    It sounds like you love your partner. Does she understand your situation, do you think? Why don't you show her your post, or, if you feel you cannot do that right now, at least sit down and tell her what you have told us boardsies? She may have concerns - she may feel that deep down you do not find her attractive , or she may feel that in some unconscious way you feel your relationship with her does not have a future. Don't let it fester.

    I am not a medic so have no idea about whether circumcision has an impact on male sexual experience - I was circumcised myself in my 20's & found sex even more delicious afterwards.

    Best of luck , FoxT


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Oh we have talked about it and she knows its not her. She knows its since I had the circumscision. She knows everything I have said in my post. I was just wondering if anyone else has had similar problems and how they got it sorted. Our relationship is very strong. Shes extremely attractive and I am crazy about her. We dont talk about it much anymore. She accepts its the way things are and I think she feels that if she mentions it she feels like shes putting pressure on me so I think thats why she does not mention it anymore.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,698 ✭✭✭✭Princess Peach


    I used to be with a guy with the same problem, he was circumcised and never came from sex and it took a long time for him to climax through other things, and rarely did at all. It used to make me feel awful, like I wasn't doing it right. He'd forever tell me I wasn't the problem but it still made me feel bad that I'd had a great time and he didn't get anything out of it. I can't say if the problem was ever resolved. We did talk about it a few times, and he assured me he did enjoy himself during sex but it was just hard for him to climax, but that he was having a good time. But I still felt bad on the times I couldn't get anything out of him. It made me feel like we were only having sex for my benefit if you get me. He always would talk about how great things were, but I dont know why I still felt inadequate, no matter what he said!

    Reading over it, I don't seem to be giving much advice to you here, just sharing my experience. I guess one thing I did like was when I wouldnt see the guy, and we would have a bit of dirty texting when he would tell me how great the last time was and what he liked and what he would like next time. That always put a bit of confidence in me. Just keep assuring your girlfriend that you do enjoy it, and tell her lots how sexy she is!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 753 ✭✭✭Roselm


    Would you consider trying a vibrator during sex?
    I should heed my own advice! :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 135 ✭✭Johnny Favourite


    I haven't been circumcised but i do find it difficult to cum during penetrative sex.

    One thing I found that helps is to stop masturbating for as long a possible before you know you are going to be having sex. I sometimes leave it for up to week. Then when I do have sex I'm going into it with a seriously loaded weapon and normally manage to cum.

    If I have cum the day before I will usually have to pull out and finish the job by hand either hers or mine.

    It is a pain in the ass though and It wreaks my head. When I was younger it was never a problem,


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    unreg2171 wrote: »
    I'm a guy of 29 and have a loving caring relationship tiwh my gf and we are very sexually active but we have one problem. i cant climax through intercourse. Shes saying nothing and is being awesome but I know its not just eating away at me. I had a circumcision done 2 years ago and havent been able to climax through sex since. I dont have the same sensitivity there that I used to have. Its driving me mad. I satisfy her and can make her climax but I think she feels she cant satisfy me but doesnt want to bring up the convo with me. I love her and I know she loves me and thats all that matters at the end of the day but I would like to get this sorted. Oral dont do it for me either. Only thing that does it for me is masturbation whether it be me or her that does it. Can anyone help?

    Try contacting ACCORD for counselling; they'll offer you the services of a psycho-sexual therapist if you'd like.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,243 ✭✭✭LighterGuy


    Hmmm, it could be that the circumcision has made you alot less sensitve. Although I would think / even try the following:

    • Condoms - alot of guys cant climax through a condom. Its possible the circumcision has made you less sensitive while wearing a condom. If your partner is comfortable with it, she could go on the pill to see if that will solve your problem.
    • chokin' the chicken - if you "jerk it" in your spare time I would suggest you stop. This improves a guys sexual performance.
    • Try different sexual positions. For example, maybe missionary was your position of choice to climax. Doggy (etc) could hit the spot.
    • Alot is mental. You didnt indicate that you cant climax at all. Only though sex. So I say it could be a mental barrier you have to overcome.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,012 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Cheers for all the replies folks.

    Princess thank you. Its helped to hear your experience from the girls perspective in that situation. I'm doing everything you suggested.

    Roselm, no hadnt considered a vibrator.

    As for chokin the chicken, it makes no difference really whether I've done it recently or left it for a while. Circumscision has left me with very little sensation there. Sorry for the graphical nature of the post but I dont know how else to explain it.

    As for condoms - we're not suing condoms. Shes on the pill. Condoms takes away even more of the sensation. She decided to go on the pill which was totally her decision and I didnt influence her one way or the other on that.

    We've tried and continue to try numerous positions. Some feel better than others but still I have no results. The circumcision was something I couldnt avoid as there was antoehr problem that gave me no option. I'd just love a quick solution.

    Maybe it is a mental barrier I dont know. Theres nothing I can think of that is or should cause a barrier. Certainly nothing from my past thats causing a barrier. Its not just with this girl i have the problem. In past relationships it was the same too.

    Its driving me mad.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 3,243 ✭✭✭LighterGuy


    Hmmmm. Well op you're doing the right thing. You've tried alot to fix your problem.

    You could try and go to the doctors but I am not sure what they could do. Its worth a shot tho. Could be a cream or something that improves sensitivity.


    You could try Viagra.
    Not as in every time you want to have sex. But Viagra does increase the bloodflow big time in the penis. You could get some sensation back.


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