dating...where to find them!!!??!!!

LegacyUser

Hey,
I'm a regular bloke, had some ups and downs but fairly comfortable with myself and have great friends and family. My problem is trying to meet decent guys. I go out reasonably regularly but meeting guys on the scene who are inetersted in more than a one night fling is really hard. I'm kind of at the stage where I'd like to date around and meet people with a potential for a relationship. Where to do this, the internet seems to be a dead end as well, gaydar and the like.
Anyone know what is going on??

gmale

You would be surprised where you might meet "the one", online, in a pub, at work, out with mates.

If you find that you are having no luck with guys you need to broaden your horizons. What are your interests? What do you like to do? Is there a club/social group that is focused on that? It doesnt necessarilly have to be a gay social or sporting group, remember the gays have infiltrated all levels of society

But dont give up onthe scene or the internet as well.

Dont try too hard either, it will happen

Rick_

If you find any, let me know...!

akaspike

This type of thread pops up from time to time?

Sometimes it might be right in front of your face.

I don’t want to be coming off as Cila Black here, but it seems that there is a few people here that all want the same thing. Or am i wrong?

Common scene comes into play.
What do you want? I'm sure if people narrowed down their search then it would be easier to direct them in the right path.

Being gay is no different than being straight in terms of finding love. Your looking for a partner, one that share's the same interest so you go to place's that your interested in. They don't have to be gay bars, we're everywhere these days.
I dont generally go to gay bars, i enjoy them from time to time for a laugh, but it reminds me of some form of meat market and I wouldn't go there in the mind set that i'd like to meet anyone. I laugh when i'm being judged by some wanna be with an attitude problem.
What ever happened to getting to know a person and talking before jumping straight in.
I think one needs to be comfortable with who they are first. Before they start fooling with other people and them conjuring that **** about how they wear their heart on their sleave (it's a no-no for me).
Wear your heart inside your chest and we'll be ok.
You dont have to sing it from the roof tops, but just be comfortable with it.

deasyd

To be honest, I'm 25 and I have been looking a long time now. It's depressing. I have done the whole dating thing and I'm fed up of going on date after date and going through the same rigmarole. Had a hand full of dates that are worth remembering, but either they were too picky or I was.

All the lads out there seem to want to jump your bones straight away and if you don't agree they just head on their way. When I think of it I'm not that picky. I just want a nice honest person that I could introduce to my friends and not be embarrassed. I'm not hung up on looks or great bodies as I find people like that, more often than not, just want to play the field and don't really have any substance. I suppose for me having all straight friends doesn't help. I find that difficult to change too.

When it comes to being relationship potential, being gay can be so carp at times :mad:

Barna77

Paddy C wrote: »

If you find any, let me know...!

And me too

Peadar06

Barna77 wrote: »

And me too

+1

Rick_

deasyd wrote: »

To be honest, I'm 25 and I have been looking a long time now. It's depressing. I have done the whole dating thing and I'm fed up of going on date after date and going through the same rigmarole. Had a hand full of dates that are worth remembering, but either they were too picky or I was.

All the lads out there seem to want to jump your bones straight away and if you don't agree they just head on their way. When I think of it I'm not that picky. I just want a nice honest person that I could introduce to my friends and not be embarrassed. I'm not hung up on looks or great bodies as I find people like that, more often than not, just want to play the field and don't really have any substance. I suppose for me having all straight friends doesn't help. I find that difficult to change too.

When it comes to being relationship potential, being gay can be so carp at times :mad:

I'm 25 myself (26 in a fortnight) and would have to say that you sound so much like me it's scary. Wanna go out?

gibson

This thread is pretty much how I feel as well. Ive seen other threads with the same thing or near enough and it does seem theres people on here who are roughly around the same age all thinking the same thing.

Im 26 myself had a few relationships nothing longer than a few months and wouldnt be the biggest fan of the gay bars. I dont mind every now and then but im not a fan of pounding dance music and hate dancing LOL! Id usually be the one just sipping my drink while others are on the dance floor

as others have said im definitely looking along the same lines nice guy, good personality wants more than a one night stand. now i know some people say i dont care about looks etc. but theres got to be some attraction i think

i think there was a boards meet up or is every month or so?

deasyd

Paddy C wrote: »

I'm 25 myself (26 in a fortnight) and would have to say that you sound so much like me it's scary. Wanna go out?

would love to, pm me lol

Kanoe

my god people there's a queer beers thread out there somewhere. I'm going dressed like cilla.

A lemon

When I first started going out on the scene, I don't know why, I almost expected I'd meet someone and have the experience of having a bf - but it still hasn't happened. At first I just felt pretty lonely, as if I was doomed to be single forever. I don't believe that's the case, but I've stopped actively "looking" for a relationship - and I don't really get that disappointed feeling as a result anymore. I don't think you can control these things and I guess the trick is to just get involved in as many things as possible, have a life and meet people on the way. I'm thinking of joining some sort of gay sports group or something. I'm not one to be giving advice at all btw, I'm 22 and have never been in a relationship (and I barely ever hit the scene), but that's the way I look at it. Also if I really, really like someone I'll pretty much always feel too paralyzed to do anything about it. I'm assuming it also helps to be more vocal/open about your sexuality too, so that people actually know that you're a potential other half. I'm working on that!

Still waiting, but pretty chilled about it :cool:

DubArk

Well this place seems a good start (Link below) to me, if I was looking for a bloke or blokes to meet outside the “The Bar Scene!”

Get up off your arses and do something about it. Trolling the internets and bars as you can see is a waste of time and have IMO had their day.

We no longer have to hide behind tinted windows or anonymous internet sites
(Says Dubark!?!) but you get my point….;)


http://wetandwildsports.com/

Best of luck lads and lassies….

Goodshape

Only recently single myself. Actually met my last boyfriend in the Dragon! But I think that's an exception rather than the rule.

I wonder do even straight people really expect a lasting relationship with someone they meet / pickup in a club? I don't think that "club pickup = bit of fun" is unique to the gays. If that's the only place you're looking, you might be looking for quite a while.

As others have pointed out, to find someone who shares your interests (i.e. relationship material) you've got to start by perusing those interests, and stop ghettoising on account of your sexuality. We're outnumbered, sure, but at the same time there's gay's everywhere -- not just in a couple of bars on Georges St.


Slightly relatedly, anyone ever have a bad (or not) experience chatting up or hitting on a straight guy by mistake? "Get out there and stop relying on the gay clubs" is easy to write but tbh, approaching someone outside of that 'safe zone' is pretty scary when you consider the wide range of possible unfavourable reactions :-/

Annasopra

I'm kinda in the same position myself - not mad about the scene at all - It's ok now and again

Here's 3 pieces of advice

1 maybe attend the next queer beers event http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056030646
2 there's a speed dating event called romeo romeo - I am nearly sure that they have one coming up 1st Wed in November http://www.romeoromeojulietjuliet.com/Up-Coming-Events.html
3 there are numerous LGBT groups in many many sports, social or other activities - find out if perhaps something that interests you exists - ask us if we know of something

Dark Artist

Goodshape wrote: »

Slightly relatedly, anyone ever have a bad (or not) experience chatting up or hitting on a straight guy by mistake? "Get out there and stop relying on the gay clubs" is easy to write but tbh, approaching someone outside of that 'safe zone' is pretty scary when you consider the wide range of possible unfavourable reactions :-/

Yes, I have a funny story like this.

I was in Twisted Pepper once and I figured I'd give a shot at hitting on a guy in a straight place. I chose one guy who I thought was quite cute and very obviously gay... not much risk of him being straight, I thought.

I sat next to him and asked him if he was having a good night. He immediately asked me if I was gay, I said yes, and he apologised and said he wasn't. It was a little embarrassing but not too bad... until he said, "Hey... I know you... *such and such* brought you back one night, didn't he?"

I had met this guy before. A different fella had brought me home one night, and the morning after he had introduced me to his housemate - this guy. I remember thinking at the time that he looked gay, but he was definitely straight, and he had a girlfriend and everything.

Needless to say I was ****ing mortified... but at least now I know that if I ever try it on with a straight guy by accident, it can't possibly go any worse than that, unless of course I get decked or something :pac:

Annasopra

Date now chosen for queer beers

http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056030646

ninty9er

To put an inverse spin on a regularly heard saying:

All the good ones are straight or taken;)

Rick_

ninty9er wrote: »

All the good ones are straight or taken

Quoted for truth.

Annasopra

ninty9er wrote: »

To put an inverse spin on a regularly heard saying:

All the good ones are straight or taken;)

I'm not straight and I'm not taken ;-)

Annasopra

Johnnymcg wrote: »

I'm kinda in the same position myself - not mad about the scene at all - It's ok now and again

Here's 3 pieces of advice

1 maybe attend the next queer beers event http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056030646
2 there's a speed dating event called romeo romeo - I am nearly sure that they have one coming up 1st Wed in November http://www.romeoromeojulietjuliet.com/Up-Coming-Events.html
3 there are numerous LGBT groups in many many sports, social or other activities - find out if perhaps something that interests you exists - ask us if we know of something

Speed dating is confirmed for November

November dates have been confirmed for gay speed dating events in Dublin.

Meet up to 40 single guys or girls at each event, complimentary finger food provided, a bar will be available, free gift vouchers for Brasserie sixty6 for all guests, a dinner voucher for the restaurant will also be raffled off at the end of the night AND you receive a mail with your match list 48 hours after the event.

Each date lasts for approximately 3 minutes and you will have about 15 dates. You tell me who you like and I do all the rest.

So dont delay, book your place now before it packs up.

Men: RomeoRomeo@dublin.ie (Wednesday November 10th)
Women: JulietJuliet@Dublin.ie (Wednesday November 24th)

lionchild

where are these beers of queers gonna be?

DubArk

Johnnymcg wrote: »

I'm not straight and I'm not taken ;-)

Leads us to the question!

Are you GOOD!?!

Barna77

Johnnymcg wrote: »

I'm not straight and I'm not taken ;-)

I'd say you're not the only one

Annasopra

DubArk wrote: »

Leads us to the question!

Are you GOOD!?!

Depends on your perception of "good"

Annasopra

lionchild wrote: »

where are these beers of queers gonna be?

No venue decided yet - suggestions welcome

LegacyUser

Would you reccomend any online websites for trying to find dates?

Bobby42

I'm 25 and don't know where to start really. I've been questioning my sexuality for a long time but I'm starting to accept that I'm gay.
Not sure I'd like the scene. Was in a gay club once a few weeks ago but was with college friends so I couldn't be myself at the time.
I'm thinking of joining the LGBT society in college but I'm afraid that it will be full of people younger than me.
I wouldn't be in to the whole one night stand thing at all, I really want a boyfriend and a relationship.
Being ridiculously shy doesn't help!

Rick_

Bobby, plenty of guys also in the same position, I'm prety much the same, not into shagging around, not into the scene, looking for a proper boyfriend / relationship and am also very shy/nervous at times. Life's a bitch sometimes, isn't it? Still, plenty of guys like us are also on the boards, so look around and maybe get chatting to some in PM and see what happens. You never know!

DS333

Join D.I.G.S., the whole lot of you living in or near Dublin. Not only will you meet each other, you'll also meet many people your own age, nice, friendly people who aren't out, first and foremost, to rattle your bones. I met quite a few like you at their last get-together who would be delighted for all of you to attend their next gathering sometime this month. It's on a Sunday at lunchtime. They let you know the date once it's organized.

And go to the Queer Beers. If there isn't one in your neck of the woods, start one.

What more can I say?
It's not easy, but neither is it impossible.

Leap off and you'll fly almost automatically. It's true, even coming from someone who didn't take the plunge till he was forced to at gunpoint.:o

Jay89

Hey everyone !! There hard to find its not impossible though!! not that i can talk!!:)lol but i never go out looking i always go out to have a good time with my mates and if i meet anyone happy days but i wudnt worry to much!! think positive!! hes out there somewhere for you !! you just havent found him yet!

LegacyUser

Ive been single forever and I am really really sick of it

any ideas?