Started a Counselling course

lynsalot

Hey guys
Looking for some advice. Started a foundation course in counselling last week. I've wanted to do social work for a long long time but there's no courses available part time.
I wanted to see if this type of work suited me so applied for the foundation course. Love helping people. Like the whole idea of doing this work and it's something I've wanted to look into for approx 8 years.

Started last week with a get to know you session. I felt very very uncomfortable. I can't explain why. I normally like speaking about my past in order to help others. I got separated a year ago. I'm also adopted and recently enough the adoption agency contacted me about tracing my birth father.

So last week I was there and the focus was on me. I'd to tell a stranger on a one to one basis all about me. I tried to avoid getting into these things but instead spilt my guts and I think he thought I was mad. I was nervous he'd tell the group and people would judge me or think I'm not ready for this course.

I can't explain how awkward and uncomfortable i was. Like I was in a parallel universe and all sense of normality gone. I felt like I didn't belong and I was pretending to be good enough. It really upset me and freaked me out. I've been having nightmares all week and gettin upset about things I thought I'd dealt with.

What the hell is going on? I've another class tonight and i'm dreading it. I know this is a section on personal development but really whats wrong with me. Surely this is a mad reaction?? The course is non refundable but my mother suggested maybe it's not the right time. Is the content of the course supposed to get you thinking and focusing on yourself?? I just found it a difficult week... whereas before the course I enjoyed my week and had nothing niggling at me and bogging me down.

Anyone have any similar experiences? Btw, I'm on medication for the last 2 years for depression and its under control... this week mind, I've been more wobbly than normal... understandably though.

Nevyn

Given that you are being treated for depression this could be too much for you and drag up things you are not ready to deal with yet, or should be looking at dealing with in a context which is about healing yourself rather then looking after others.
It could be it's not the right time.

LegacyUser

Hi OP,

I think it is a good thing that they are working with people so thoroughly, the psychotherapist that i saw told me she had been in ongoing therapy for 14 years that it was part of her training, and she is monitored heavily. She said it is very much about you as well. I think your emotional side does need to be explored when training and if there are any issues there it is important to be aware of them.

I have also had a very difficult past and i have healed from a lot and from depression, but would your depression not be attributed to the underlining issues that are not resolved from your past, like i was told from my therapist that if i got to the root cause of my depression that i would not be depressed anymore, my anxiety and panic would life because i confronted my fears and thats exactly what happened.

I hope this doesnt sound bad but surely if you want to be a counsellor should you not have to practice what you preach, there is no need for medication for depression if issues are resolved from within, when you spoke about your deepest feelings with this person it seemed to connect you with yourself on a deeper level, maybe the medication is repressing those feelings from coming up and when you came in contact with them you got a fright.

They should definitely be explored before you practice as a counsellor, i would not be happy paying to see someone who had not done the work they needed to do themselves. Therapists who have healed from a difficult past are usually the best ones! as they have direct experience and advice to give, so you should still pursue your dream but just do some work in therapy yourself, and don't feel ashamed that you need to, i bet others on the course do as well. If anything this situation has guided you to what you need to do for yourself, repressing emotions really hurts the spirit and you have obviously guided yourself to connect with you again.

darad

OP I think maybe your readiness to open up about yourself showed that you are in fact ready to talk about yourself and be honest and ready to look at yourself. The tutor probably should have told people to keep it light especially as it was only your first night.

Dont be so hard on yourself, I bet lots of people on your course have mixed feelings about whether or not they are ready for it. Its something you have always wanted so embrace it, which it sounds like you have done and enjoy it and see how you get on, what have you got to lose? Good luck.

LegacyUser

Hey OP,

Just thought I'd share something similar that happened to me -

I'd be really interested in psychology or something similar, and a couple of years ago, I decided to volunteer for one of the Childline services, as I like working with kids and thought I'd find it rewarding. And strangely through doing the training, I realised that I was not ready myself to deal with other people's problems, and I dropped out after a couple of weeks.
I'm fairly sane, fairly well balanced, getting on grand in most things. But having some drama in my past myself, I realised that I wasn't ready to help someone else deal with their (very real) problems. Even though I'm perfectly happy to be there for friends and family in a crisis.

Maybe you could do some work on yourself in tandem with the course, as if you're really interested in this area, it would be a shame to give it up. Plus having gone through the experience of having spilled your guts to a stranger and felt strange, you'll know what that feels like for someone else, should you end up working in the area...

Good luck with it!

lynsalot

Went back tonight guys and found it very rewarding. I admitted to the group I felt uncomfortable and 2 others agreed with me

We learned that as counsellors ur not meant to be perfect but u need to work on ur self esteem and face your problems head on. If u can do that and deal with the problems, you're in a better place to help others. It made a lot of sense to me tonight and I felt so much more comfortable.

So I've learned its ok to have a past and I think i'm doing the right thing because it'll help me put past demons to bed.

Thanks for all the advice guys it makes a lot of sense to me