I'm finding it very difficult

LegacyUser

Hi All,

I have always been a trans. i have become more comfortable in myself and no longer feel ashamed which was something I always felt.

My query is, and I hope ye can help, I cant bring myself to buy outfits in big stores. Walking into the dressing room with a number of dresses in my hand and the stares I get.

Can anyone recommend where I could get a personal shopper or just somewhere can could help me without looking at me funny?!

Chuchoter

itshard wrote: »

Hi All,

I have always been a trans. i have become more comfortable in myself and no longer feel ashamed which was something I always felt.

My query is, and I hope ye can help, I cant bring myself to buy outfits in big stores. Walking into the dressing room with a number of dresses in my hand and the stares I get.

Can anyone recommend where I could get a personal shopper or just somewhere can could help me without looking at me funny?!

Why not just get stuff online? Its got nicer stuff anyway.
Also, unless you're in mens clothes with these dresses, I doubt you're getting stared at, you're probably just so worried you think everyones looking at you or you look terrified and thats why they're looking at you! Just calm down! I'd also say bringing a friend would make life a lot easier. Everything is easier when there are two of you doing it.

Coeurdepirate

I agree with Crayola, if you're buying dresses in womens' clothing, then I can't see why you'd get stare at. And definitely bring a friend!

L.Jenkins

Do you feel you don't pass yet? It's all to do with how you feel and when people do stare, you would naturally feel that they are staring for reasons that give you fear in the first place. Bring a female friend with you and let them help you. The more you do it, the more comfortable you will become.

I have yet to meet this challange, so i admire your courage so far.

deirdre_dub

itshard wrote: »

Hi All,

I have always been a trans. i have become more comfortable in myself and no longer feel ashamed which was something I always felt.

My query is, and I hope ye can help, I cant bring myself to buy outfits in big stores. Walking into the dressing room with a number of dresses in my hand and the stares I get.

Can anyone recommend where I could get a personal shopper or just somewhere can could help me without looking at me funny?!

When you are out and about presenting as female (which I presume you do), do you also get stares? If you don't, then it's doubtful that you are actually getting stares when you go into the dressing room.

A lot of coming to terms with being trans and what it means for you as a member of society is in your head. I know that I had the whole experience of believing I must constantly be wearing that big neon sign over my head saying "trans person here"!

To combat that - you need to get practice of being out and about as yourself, and build up your confidence. Meeting other trans people is also a great help.

These days, not only do I not have any inkling of having the neon sign over my head, I even oftentimes forget that I am actually out-and-about dressed! It's become so a part of my normal life that I rarely give it a thought. The identity "I'm female" has completely permeated my life, so when I'm wearing a dress, or going into the women's dressing rooms, it doesn't at all feel like a "risky" or scary thing to do. It was only two years ago that I was desperately afraid of putting my nose outside the door while I was dressed - my current level of ease is due to slowly building up my confidence, and also meeting other trans people.

You've asked a specific question about a personal shopper. I have a phone number of someone in Dublin who may be willing to help you, though she could be quite expensive! She usually caters to transvestites, but I'm sure she'll accept business from wherever it comes! Send me a private message if you are interested.

Eebs

I've heard HnM are really understanding about this sort of thing also. Sometimes you just need to be oblivious and go for it. Frankly F em if they are looking. Be confident, be you and try brush it off.

Note: Way way easier said then done.

Always helps to go shopping with friends. Can feel more confidant.

Katherine Jane

Remember, that shop is there to SELL things, and they don't care who is buying them, as long as they are being bought! Heck, why not chat with one of the sales assistants, and see how they respond. MOST of them are going to be cool about it, and those who aren't, well, there are ways of dealing with them.

The shops want customers to feel comfortable. The more comfortable the customer is, the more money he or she will spend.

Take a friend along, not only for support, but to also tell you that the cute top you are trying on is NOT looking good on you-trust me, I've been there!

There is also internet shopping, which provides anonymity, AND is a heckuva lot more convenient at times than going into the big shops, and many times less costly.

Be yourself, and enjoy shopping, it is great therapy.