My Girlfriend is my Best Friend.

LegacyUser

Together nine years no kids not married both mid thirties.

Shes loving beautiful friendly likable wise.

Shes my Best Friend in the world.

We dont fight (often!)

We cuddle, kiss, and feel comfortable and good around each other

In January while we were being intimate I had a strong feeling of friendship towards her.

Not passion, friendship. We have not been intimate since, not even a snog.

I look at her like 'Yeah she's beautful and adorable' yet it's like she's my cousin or something (No jokes please).

We spoke about it and she said she noticed yet is happy to continue the relationship.
I told her I never have or would cheat on her which is true.

Everything else is great, yet this is making me feel a bit lonely.
I know my sex drive is working, how can I direct it towards her again?

RandyMann

GF.BFF. wrote: »

Together nine years no kids not married both mid thirties.

Shes loving beautiful friendly likable wise.

Shes my Best Friend in the world.

We dont fight (often!)

We cuddle, kiss, and feel comfortable and good around each other

In January while we were being intimate I had a strong feeling of friendship towards her.

Not passion, friendship. We have not been intimate since, not even a snog.

I look at her like 'Yeah she's beautful and adorable' yet it's like she's my cousin or something (No jokes please).

We spoke about it and she said she noticed yet is happy to continue the relationship.
I told her I never have or would cheat on her which is true.

Everything else is great, yet this is making me feel a bit lonely.
I know my sex drive is working, how can I direct it towards her again?

Probably simple enough. Have a few drinks and get her to dress up in some kinky gear, like whatever underwear that does it for you. That always does it for me.
Another is to go out like a club or something and her get to wear something racy, that will get your attention, like short skirt/dress, boots or high heels/stockings, whatever rocks your boat, then with a few drinks you will want to get her home and do the business.

star-pants

When you say she said she has noticed, but is happy to continue on as normal, does that mean she's not that bothered that the physical side of the relationship is gone?

To be honest, that's a bit odd if she's not concerned / wanting to solve things, and I'd want to know why. Is she happy to have a non physical relationship? Or is she (like you) somewhat upset by it and wanting to reignite things?

Stephanos

RandyMann wrote: »

Probably simple enough. Have a few drinks and get her to dress up in some kinky gear, like whatever underwear that does it for you. That always does it for me.
Another is to go out like a club or something and her get to wear something racy, that will get your attention, like short skirt/dress, boots or high heels/stockings, whatever rocks your boat, then with a few drinks you will want to get her home and do the business.

This is the best advice! It is after all nine years. You're bound to encounter some form of slump. You just need to spice it up again. The best thing to do is tell her how you feel. If you're relationship is as good as you describe, then she will hopefully listen.

This could be an exciting opportunity for you to reignite passion in your relationship. Everything else in your relationship sounds perfect. You just have to refuel the fires of passion again.

Have fun

LegacyUser

Hi OP, My BF is my best friend! We are together 14 years i can completely relate, and the cousin thing! oh god! i have felt like we were like brother and sister at times... we grew up a few houses away, his family 5 boys my family 4 girls, we are both the second oldest, same temperament etc we are defo soul mates,

anyway sex has dried up between us sooo many times, its normal that long term relationships would experience this, the only thing though that i find solves it is a real heart to heart, what happens is the communication breaks down, it is hard to work at it all the time but it is needed every now and then to get things back on track.

One thing i realize is that sex for a woman starts way before the physical act of it, i feel the relationship has to be working emotionally for me to have sex, he has to be clued in for me to feel like it, like if he watched football all day and ignores me and then tries it on im not in the mood and that can even be a subconscious thing cause the attracting is just not there for me, but if he is very thoughtful, makes dinner, cleans that day, asks me whats up? how im feeling then i feel like my needs are being met and i feel we are sharing and we are close, then i feel up for it!

So just try not to feel to bad about sex not happening cause i think its normal to have spells like this, libido can come and go, but she must be missing it too! Just plain old fashion talking is what will cure it, maybe organise a nice evening with a bottle of vino and just bring it up, say to her, babe, im a little self conscious about the intimate side of our relationship, im starting to get a bit down about it, do you think we should talk about it, or are you thinking about it at all? Id like to get us back on track, say i miss you and i want us to be ok?

Well im sure you know what yo say but just go for it! it will fall back into place, Gud'luck .

niceoneted

Snookii that is a brilliant piece of advice.