Couple months relationship an not being able to turn off my brain

LegacyUser

I've been going out with this girl for nearly three months now, things are great, we get on really well, she's beautiful, smart etc and I love spending time with her. It's come to a point now though where I'm starting to over think everything.

I'm 22 and this is my longest relationship to date. Usually either I have too high initial standards or I realise that myself and the girl and two very different people and just let things end. That and the fact that I usually don't allow myself be happy, I've a tendency to view life glass half empty. It's like I'm getting comfortable with the girl and am now freaking out looking at ways to sabotage myself.

I do really like her, I'm crazy about her, but then I hear her and a friend of hers in particular talk about going out an wild nights out, getting drunk and flirting with lads (before I met her, long before) and I start to worry "do I really know her?".

I've never fallen in love before, and I think it's happening here and that scares the crap out of me.

If anyone could tell me to shut up and enjoy the good thing I have going please do, I need a slap in the face!

Contessa Raven

What's up with this?! wrote: »

I do really like her, I'm crazy about her, but then I hear her and a friend of hers in particular talk about going out an wild nights out, getting drunk and flirting with lads (before I met her, long before) and I start to worry "do I really know her?".

I think you're overreacting here. Read back over this bit esp the bit in bold.
She was single when she did this. She didn't even know you. So what's the issue?

If she had a boyfriend when she was doing this then that would be different but you didn't mention that so I assume she was a free agent. So long as she's being respectful to you now by not flirting with others then I don't understand why you're caught up by this.

It sounds like you're just scared of falling in love with her and ending up hurt. But we all take that risk when we enter into a relationship. If you want this to work you will have to learn how to relax and not over think things. You'll drive yourself crazy. Maybe part of it stems from being insecure? Just remember: she chose you! That means she wants to be with you so anytime you feel a bit freaked, remember that.

CR

LighterGuy

Op,
thats just a natural feeling
No one wants to hear about their partners previous wild nights out that involve the opposite sex. We just all tend to not let it bothers us if we hear about it

If would be a different story if you heard something shocking about your girlfriends past. But from the sounds of it you havent so far


So just try to not let it bother you.

Stephanos

What's up with this?! wrote: »

I'm 22 and this is my longest relationship to date. Usually either I have too high initial standards or I realise that myself and the girl and two very different people and just let things end. That and the fact that I usually don't allow myself be happy, I've a tendency to view life glass half empty. It's like I'm getting comfortable with the girl and am now freaking out looking at ways to sabotage myself.

My concern is why you seem to get so panic stricken when a relationship gets serious. You're setting a pattern here and you need to ask yourself a few questions. It sounds like you're onto a really good thing; you've found someone you like, but yet you're afraid of it getting serious. Why is this?

Give yourself that slap in the face. You know you like this girl. Just chill out and let yourself go.