boyfriend cheating

LegacyUser

Could anyone help me get my head around this...

A few weeks ago my boyfriend (7 years and kids) was caught cheating, now he had been very sly about it and never wanted to be caught. It was pure shock to him for me to even mention it and of course he denied everything. He left the house that day without any type of explaination, which of course gutted me..
Few days pass and he is back in contact on the phone in tears wanting me back and not being able to cope, gave me the explanation that he is addicted to sex and had been with escorts.. We cried together that night and all game out about past relationships, disrespect for himself and everyone around him and that he needed counselling.. I did say I would give him a second chance but that we all needed counselling, especially couples counselling..
Anyway since then, there has been no change in him.. Everything I have found out about him has been through searching for it myself and then confronting him to which I get a brief explanation and he hopes its all over.. He has not offered one bit of explanation himself and I fear that there is so much more to come.. He really just wants us to live on like before which would of course be great for him because I did everything for him.
I have tried to talk and talk again but am getting absolutely nowhere, especially when i talk about our suituation directly.

He is going to counselling as of today but I really don't know what to do.. I really feel I don't know this person at all but i do feel he does really want to be with us.

As for myself my emotions are everywhere and what I would love to know has their been anyone out there that hs made a suituation like ours work..

luciusesox

Firstly OP, I am so sorry to hear the situation you are in. I've been there and know how devastating it can be.

My take on this is that after the discovery, he needs to take actions to rebuild trust in the relationship and he is not doing that. You need him to be honest and open, answer all questions, open his life up to you, have no secrets. The fact that he is not prepared to do so is only compounding the problems.

He caused you untold pain by his affairs, now he is causing you further pain by refusing to take the actions required to help recover the relationship. He is adding insult to injury and he needs to recognise this.

I've been in this situation and have to tell you that in the end the pain I suffered by my cheating spouses actions after the affair was worse than the pain on discovering the affair.

Good luck.

LegacyUser

person may actually have a problem.....a couple dealing with this can be one of the most difficult thing they could face but if its true and the person is a sex addict they really need help