My Chinese friend.

fred funk }{

My Chinese friend was married to a women called lorainne but he was also having an affair with a women called Clair Lee. One day Lorainne was tragically killed in a car accident. At the funeral my friend got up and sang a song, 'I can see Clair Lee now Lorainne has gone'.

FruitLover

Why's he supposed to be Chinese?

fred funk }{

FruitLover wrote: »

Why's he supposed to be Chinese?

Because he has slanty eyes

FruitLover

Most Chinese people don't have slanted eyes. They can often look narrower than caucasian eyes, but not usually slanted.

tossy

Why did you friend sing at his wifes funeral and why are you telling us all about his personal life on a public forum? surely this revelation of his affair is being insensitive to his wifes family?

FruitLover

On the 'Humour' forum no less! Poor show.

For the sake of your friendship, I hope your friend is not a member of Boards.

fred funk }{

*Bangs head repeatedly on desk*

For the love of God.

Please tell me this is a wind up.

MonkieSocks

Which one is she Fred ?



:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

fred funk }{

MonkieSocks wrote: »

Which one is she Fred ?



:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Far right

MonkieSocks

fred funk }{ wrote: »

Far right

Niceeeeeeeeeeeeeee

She looks like a Chinese hooker I was with once.

She said to me

“Wot you like”

I said “ I want a number 69”

Eventually, in a puzzled tone she asked.........





:pac: "You want... Beef wif Bwoccori?"

tossy

Like a Chinese hooker a 'friend' of mine once was with,he booked her for half 7 it was 8 before she arrived,her excuse..........? "Me love you wong time"

minister poxbottle

MonkieSocks wrote: »

Which one is she Fred ?



:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

I fancy the one with the slanty eyes pointing at her chin, or maybe she's tellin us my name is chin lee

Stinicker

An Italian, a Scotsman, and a Chinese fellow were hired at a construction site. The foreman pointed out a huge pile of sand and told the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Scotsman he said, "You're in charge of shoveling." And to the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."
He then said, "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile."
The foreman went away for a of couple hours, and, when he returned, the pile of sand was untouched. He asked the Italian, "Why didn't you sweep any of it?" The Italian replied, "I no hava no broom. You said to the Chinese fella that he a wasa in a charge of supplies, but he hasa disappeared and I no coulda finda him nowhere." Then the foreman turned to the Scotsman and said, "And you, I thought I told you to shovel this pile."
The Scotsman replied, "Aye, ye did lad, boot ah couldnay get meself a shoovel! Ye left th' Chinese gadgie in chairge of supplies, boot ah couldnay fin' him either." The foreman was really angry by now and stormed off toward the pile of sand to look for the Chinese guy.

Just then, the Chinese guy jumped out from behind the pile of sand and yelled...

"SUPPLIES!!"

MonkieSocks

A Dustman knocks on a chinese mans door one morning.

The chinaman says "harro wot u wann?".

Dustman says "wheres ya bin?"

"I bin on loo" says the chinaman.

"No mate wheres ya dustbin?" "

I dust bin on loo!" says chinaman"

No no mate, stop fookin me bout, wheres... ya wheelie bin?"




"Hokay, I wheelie bin havin a ****!