Mother and Father in law constantly calling

LegacyUser

We have 3 young kids, and my husbands parents live only a few miles away but are constantly calling out to our house. Most of the time its just to see the kids and so they barely talk to me or my husband. Its so frustrating as his mother will call in on a Monday on her own, his father on a Tuesday on his own, maybe together on a Thursday etc etc - Its constant, its like they're working as a tag team.

Its getting really annoying for me and my husband, and with them calling in so often it gets to the point very quickly that we have nothing to talk about. We have stopped calling in to their house because we're smothered by their visits. Its not my place to say anything as I don't want to raise any tensions but my husband doesn't really want to say anything either as he doesn't want to hurt their feelings, but he knows something has to be done. My own relationship with my in laws is suffering as I'm just exasperated by the constant visits.

Any advice, bar disconnecting the doorbell or moving to Australia! Thanks

ppink

Had similar issues with family members from both sides so we put a stop to it by asking people to give us a phone call before coming around. we told each side that it was due to others calling in all the time and that now we would just appreciate a phone call first from everybody.
so when the inlaws phoned and phoned and phoned what we did was put them off the first few times and then called them and invited them. we continued this for a few months...not having them when they wanted but when they were invited and that set the trend so now they only ever come when invited. we do invite them more often and feel more comfortable with it now.

astra2000

I really dont have a lot of advice I can offer you I presume this has been going on quite a while or has it got worse recently. The only thing that I can suggest is that when they do call maybe you could take advantage and go for a walk or pop to the shops. They obviously really want to be a part of your kids lives and this can be a real bonus as long as there are boundaries on both sides. Maybe your husband could suggest leaving the kids at their house for a few hours at the weekend and suggest that this may be easier than them having to be up and down all the time.
This is something that I would try and sort out as tactfully as possible as the more people who love your kids the better for them. But there does need to be a boundary line.

Joey the lips

Why dont you ask them to Babysit when they call and you and your husband go for a walk....

Guaranteed they wont call as often...

Moomoo1

free childcare isn't to be sniffed at in this day an age...

LegacyUser

Moomoo1 wrote: »

free childcare isn't to be sniffed at in this day an age...

Why? There is a years free childcare for every kid on the country these days.

OP, try not to be there when they call and as another poster mentioned ask them to call first but in truth its up to your hubby...

shinikins

Try changing your routine, like going shopping with the kids when your in laws usually visit, or going to see a friend. When your not in the house to answer the door your in laws should get the idea that they need to call and ask if they can pop by for a visit.

Chinafoot

Moomoo1 wrote: »

free childcare isn't to be sniffed at in this day an age...

How on earth is it "free childcare"? The OP didn't say the in-laws are constantly calling and taking the kids off for the day, did she? Either herself or her husband are there too, so no, it's not "free childcare."

OP, it's a really tricky situation and if you both decide to speak to the in laws, it should really come from your husband as they are his parents. I'm afraid I can't offer any advice on what to say as it's a very delicate situation where feelings could get hurt very quickly.

Milkmaid

I had this problem, it got to be a pain....it is really about respecting boundaries.
You have a right to privacy as a family unit.Sometimes this happens because one half of the couple has a dominating parent and sometimes it is just simply because the parents are not used to their adult child living away...not unusual some years back if a child lived at home til their wedding day.

What I did was to start dressing in a sort of semi-dressed look with rosey cheeks;) and I just kept grinning at my OH whilst my unwanted guests were there......I never had this problem again:p

the gob

cmon op is your husband a man or a mouse?

they are his family get him to open his mouth!

that said his parents must be either ignorant or stupid

otherwise just dont answer the door and when they ask were you were
say you went for a walk cos you werent expecting visitors and maybe next time they should ring in advance