Wifes sister is continually hitting on me....

LegacyUser

Hi i have been happily married to my wife for a few years and her younger sister is also married for the last year and have recently moved close to our house.
The younger sister has always been flirty over the years but lately she has been full on. They normally come over for a few drinks the weekend and on the last few occassions she has been dropping the hand and teasing at every given opportunity. She is telling me she wants to have it off etc etc.

What should i do? she is very very hot and tbh i want to remove the temptation as it could end up ruining two marriages. If i told my wife god knows how she would react towards the sister. I have spoken to the sister and told her to lay off saying i am not interested etc etc but she keeps trying and says we should do it just the once and she will leave me alone.

And before anyone suggests i am in no way leading her on.

Missgoggles

Op this is a really hard position to be in, and if you even think of following through on her advances, make sure you are prepared for a whole lot of hurt! You will not only ruin 2 marriages but a family.

Maybe talk to the sister, in a public setting, without drink on board and see if she still acts the same way towards you. If she still suggests you guys should get it on, while sober, then tell her she needs to grow up and see how completely pathetic she is and think about what she is suggesting. If she is not happy in her relationship, then she needs to sort that out instead of trying it on with her brother in law.

She screams trouble maker, and obviously has no respect for her sister. You could suggest to your wife that you feel uncomfortable with the way she flirts with you, and that sometimes you get the impression she's coming on to you.

If I was told that, it would raise alarm bells and I would closely observe my sister the next time she's around you, and then speak to her if I notice it being true. If your wife reacts badly towards her, so be it, she is completely crossing the line IMO!

Goodluck

LegacyUser

God what an awful situation.
Do not, under any circumstances meet this woman alone, even in a public setting. Who knows how that could backfire on you. This sister is clearly a trouble maker and not to be trusted.
Maybe bring it up in conversation with your wife, very casually and calmly, like 'Maybe I am being crazy but do you think that so-and-so is a bit flirty with me'. That way you are planting the seed in your wife's head and she will be watching out without causing an out and out family war. But my advice would be to mention it to your wife in some way or other, you have nothing to hide and you don't ever want to end up in a situation where it looks like you were hiding something by not mentioning her sister's advances.

seamus

Missgoggles wrote: »

You could suggest to your wife that you feel uncomfortable with the way she flirts with you, and that sometimes you get the impression she's coming on to you.

That would be my advice. You've already tried to reason with the sister and it hasn't worked. So say it to your wife.

Families can be very odd and the sister might be trying to get with you just to prove some old "oneupmanship" score or grudge that the pair of them have been engaging in for years. That if she can tempt her sister's husband, she is the better sister, etc.

LighterGuy

You have a conscience about this. I think it would be safe to assume your wife's sister does not.

Lets look at her for a second...Shes married, you are her sisters husband, Constantly flirting and now just our right saying she'd be up for it.

Thread carefully op. You are dealing with a snake here.

Personally this sounds to me that her marriage is in the dumps. I wouldnt be suprised if she doesnt care if she destroys her sisters marriage as well.

I think the best way forward is to tell your wife here. Why? take a look at the following that could happen:

• You flirt with her and something happens. You'd be bent over a barrel. You think such a women is going to say "it was a mistake, its our secret" - her marriage is in the dumps to me. There is an under-line tone of something going on with her.
• You dont do anything but flirt more. I'd be worried that even such actions could put you over a barrell.
• By telling your wife its a pre-emptive way to stop all this. You have to think about your actions and the reactions here.

You have to stop and think about your wife's sister. These are the actions of a woman who is just bad news.
I think alot of this flirting with you is either out of envy (that her sisters marriage is better than hers), an under-lone tone of being jealous to her sister (wanting to destroy, perhaps always being jealous of her) ... op you are threading on dangerous grounds here. Smart logical thing to do is talk to the wife. Be pre-emptive here.

astra2000

She is a nasty piece of work. Tell her to leave you alone or you will tell your wife and when you tell her this mean it. Of course your wife would be devestated and the shock waves would go right through her whole family but how much worse would it be if you actually did give into her. Two marriages destroyed your wife having lost her husband and sister. Do not be afraid to do what you have to to save your marriage.
Your wife is better off without someone that toxic in her life. I doubt this is about her been so attracted to you she cant resist you (no offence) but more about her own ego and been able to have everything she wants. Is she jealous of your wife? Does she always have to have/do better than her? This could be the reason behind her behaviour.
Stay away from her op

tinkerbell

OP, I can't understand why you haven't gone to your wife about this? I mean you need to be speaking to her about this immediately. It won't be long getting sorted out then. But really you need to speak to her now. I don't understand why you haven't gone to her sooner, I mean you're not at fault here - it's her sister. And you are her husband so you would be her number 1 priority.

Talk to her and it'll get sorted. Keeping it to yourself is a really really bad idea. That sister sounds like a nasty piece of work and the longer you keep it a secret, and yer wan keeps flirting, and you rejecting her, then she could get majorly pissed and then tell your wife that YOU have been flirting with her and she'll make up lies. I would tell your wife now, the truth, so that if sister decides to make up some story, at least she will get caught out straight away.

ppink

Op she does sound like a nasty piece of work! you would have to be to do that to your own sister!
If I were in your shoes i would tell your wife you are not comfortable with her sister. Tell her about the flirting and that you do not want to be in that situation again with her sister.
i would be very careful as any sister who acts like thing is capable of anything in my book and she could ruin your marriage even without you touching her

LegacyUser

unregistered1212 wrote: »

What should i do? she is very very hot and tbh i want to remove the temptation as it could end up ruining two marriages.

Not being smart but maybe she notices you have some interest. Just avoid being alone with her and tell her you are on the point of telling your wife...

Darthhoob

i would speak to your wife...before her sister does! although you've done nothing wrong it sounds like your SIL does not care about your relationship at all and i wouldn't put it past her to plant the seeds of doubt in your wife's head about you....the longer you leave it, the more likely tht will be and if you turn around and say "but she was the one coming onto me" who would your wife believe? honestly?

tell your wife now! seeing as the SIL wont listen, i wouldn't talk to the SIL again about it as she might get the hump and go behind your back...talk to your wife and tell her you think SIL is coming onto you and tell her why you think this...even if she does not believe you she will 'observe' her sister (and you) more closely in future.

Memnoch

OP don't try and talk to your sister in law any more, if she gets the hint that you are contemplating telling your wife she will do it first and lay the blame on you and could end up seriously hurting your marriage.

Try to drop the hint subtely to your wife as suggested above and then let her deal with it. Just something along the lines of... 'I know she's only messing and having a laugh but it's starting to make me a little uncomfortable.' If your wife PUSHES you then you might also reveal, 'Well she says a lot of nonsense like we should get it on, I know it's only meant to be banter but I do find it a little off putting to be honest.'

That way you won't put your wife on the defensive by "accusing" her sister but she'll be forewarned.

Tread carefully here OP, the sister in law has put you in a difficult place and you'll need to be smart to extract yourself without getting burned.

LegacyUser

Yeah i might speak to the missus and see what the response is like as there is no telling the sister in law. Thanks for the advice i am hoping the **** does not hit the fan.

Bottle_of_Smoke

Phone the sister and tell her it isn't on and she must agree to stop. Record the phonecall. If she ever comes on to you again tell your wife immediately.

or

just tell her immediately.

You have to do one of these. Hot little sister could catch you at a vulnerable moment. She sounds like a drama queen who hasn't fully thought about the consequences of the situation.

I think it is risky to just act innocent and drop hints because your wife may then confront her and could find out the sister has come on to you heavily before. That could appear like you were keeping your options open

Be prepared that your wife will be devastated. She's supposed to be able to trust family. She'll mostly be angry at her sister but she might irrationally hold you somewhat responsible too. Don't let that put you off though - Its better she and her sister have this fight now than ruining several people's lives should you ever take up your sister in law's offer.

the gob

WIFES VERY HOT SISTER IS HITTING ON ME

quit bragging!!! - only joking

seriously though the first thing to do is put a stop to the drinking sessions
in your house
if shes not around you this cant happen- where are your wife and her husband when she does this?

my guess is if you dont see her she will move onto some other bloke
shes a thrill seeker who needs the thrill of the chase and will use anyone for her own amusement

LegacyUser

Well i told the missus yesterday evening and she was rightfully bloody fuming. Big fight with the sister last night and of course she denied all knowledge and said it was me (the little slag).
Thankfully missus believes my side of the story and in fact had noticed the sisters behaviour but thought nothing of it. Not sure what will happen next but thankfully thats her out of my hair.

tinkerbell

unreg1212 wrote: »

Well i told the missus yesterday evening and she was rightfully bloody fuming. Big fight with the sister last night and of course she denied all knowledge and said it was me (the little slag).
Thankfully missus believes my side of the story and in fact had noticed the sisters behaviour but thought nothing of it. Not sure what will happen next but thankfully thats her out of my hair.

Good job OP. You were so much better off telling her. With these things, you need to get in there first because you were not in the wrong. If you had left it, the sister could've said that you were trying it on with her and then your wife could've been in doubt. However now that you have told her, at least you can deal with it together and she knows you are innocent.

Best of luck with everything, and stay well clear of that nasty little tramp of a sister!

Miss Fluff

You did the right thing OP. If you have a good relationship with your wife and want to keep it that way it's best to be open and upfront, her sister sounds like a total troublemaker

I am a friend

Ill bet the sister didnt think you would do that. Well done. Forewarned, in your wife's situation, is forearmed.

Memnoch

Well done OP. You did the right thing IMO. There is absolutely no reason for you to lie and make up things about your wife's sister, and she knows this. Don't let anyone make you feel guilty over this now or in the future, if there is a worsening of ties between your wife and any members of the family that is down to her horrible human being of a sister who should little respect and even less class.