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Feeling worthless

  • 08-10-2010 12:05am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Up to a few months ago I had a good job.
    But lack of confidence and assertiveness held me back. Like I'd know what to do, convince myself I was wrong, do nothing and then get a bollocking from management for missing deadlines.

    My appraisals were ok but most everyone around me got promoted and I never did, I convinced myself I was worthless.
    I'd see someone do a project well and say "Look at these fantastic people, I'm useless, worthless, incompetent, just leave, nobody wants you here". And then further on to suicidal thoughts, does anyone care if I'm alive? What have I got to offer?

    Requested a one to one with my manager.
    He's a great manager, I was told I did fine but I needed to build up my self confidence.
    In a meeting I'd know fantastic ideas and proposals and I'd sit in the corner and say nothing. People thought I didn't care, I did care but though why say anything, sure I know I'm wrong and stupid.....

    About a month later I made a mistake, a stupid mistake like my accountancy balance was out about 25 euro on an account worth tens of millions. That is repeated twenty times by most everyone day but I resigned over it.

    People were sad to see me leave, never realised how many friends I had. My team leader and all the supervisors took me out to lunch and said I was good at the job. But realy, even if I got 99 tasks out of a hundred correct, I'd tell myself I was worthless for missing one task.

    So here I am now, three months later.
    I quit a great job, living on dole ( 9 weeks waiting period) and savings running low. Confidence shattered

    Any advice for a job seeker with the lowest self confidence around?


Comments

  • #2
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    I have quit my good job too over similar circumstances. I was getting constant poor performance reviews despite being a good, diligent worker. I watched others work on novel ideas and great projects, getting recognition and praise, though I just wasn't as good as them to get the same. I have self esteem and confidence issues. It is hard watching other people get on and being confident in work with what seems to be minimum effort for them (mostly those that are pals with management helps, as was the case with my company).

    I just need to perform better in a competitive, corporate bulls**t world.

    What you need to do now is forget what happened in that job and move on, try not to be so hard on yourself.


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