One night stand

LegacyUser

Hi all. I'd like to run this little scenario by some of you and get your opinions. I posted here before about having my eye on my best friends brother, and looking for advice on how to make my move. Well here is what happened...... I went away for a night out with a group of my friends and the aforementioned brother. I had to share a twin with the boy in question. He seemed fine with it. So we went out, hada great nite, lots of alcohol and me and him got on great all nite. spent most of the nite together talking and were the last two to get back to the hotel. I hopped into bed, we kept chatting and then he made a lame excuse to get into my bed which was fine by me. He then proceeded to give me compliments and then we kissed.......which led to sex.

I told him I had had my eye on him recently, he seemed surprised but said that he had often checked me out.Note here, he only mentioned physical attributes and never said he fancied me. It was clear he didnt see me as girlfriend material.
Then he went on to say how he doesnt want to have a relationship with any one at the moment!
We went to sleep, decided not to tell my friend(his sister) and then in the morning when he woke up he just hopped into his bed and pretended like nothing happened. No word from him since, havent even seen him around!
I kinda know what you guys are going to say, did he totally use me?
What do you think is going on in this guys head? Ive never had a ONS before.

LighterGuy

Majority of the time "I'm not looking for anything serious" or "Im not looking for a relationship" are just BS. Sure they can be true when a person is still reeling from a bad break-up. But usually not.

Those lines are commonly used after sex as a pre-emptive way to say all they wanted was sex. Its also used in dating, "I dont want a relationship right now" means "I dont want a relationship with you" - So anytime someone uses those lines op. Assume they are BS. You would be right more times than wrong.

So op, you had a one night stand with your friends brother. No shame. But just dont expect anything more than that night of sex. It was his pre-emptive way of telling you. And judging from his reaction of no-contact since. I think thats spot on.

fungun

Well imo he didnt use you if you wanted it, but if you are asking 'does he want any more to do with me?' the answer does sound like no.

Sounds like he didnt fancy you, but though you were nice enough for him to have sex with after a few drinks. "often checked you out" is sth that I could say to about 80% of the women I have known.....sounds like he didnt even try that hard to get into bed with you, but you jumped at the opportunity.

In fact it sounds more like you used him than he used you.
But you wanted to have sex with him, you did. He doesnt want any more. Move on.

LegacyUser

I kinda know what you guys are going to say, did he totally use me?

No he didn't use you. You willingly had sex with him.

What do you think is going on in this guys head? Ive never had a ONS before.

Theres nothing going on in his head.
He got a bit drunk, you got a bit drunk, you were both sexually attracted to each other, and had sex, no big deal. He woke up the next morning and carried on with his life as normal.

Then he went on to say how he doesnt want to have a relationship with any one at the moment!

This is him letting you know that its not going to go any further. He's not interested in you. It was just sex, you had a good time with him, Enjoy the memory and move on.

Beruthiel

whathappened wrote: »

I kinda know what you guys are going to say, did he totally use me?

No. He didn't totally use you.
You wanted to have sex with him just as much as he did, it was consensual.

What do you think is going on in this guys head?

He was drunk and fancied a shag.
You were drunk and fancied a shag.
Nothing more than that went on in his head, then or now.

magneticimpulse

I agree with everyone above.

Im sure you know that if you wanted it to be more serious and an actual relationship you should not have put out for any willy nilly opportunity. Guys normally dont date girls who put out easy. There are exceptions i know. But this guy wants nothing more from the situation.

Time to move on and learn for next time.

greengiant09

bit off topic but it wrecks my head about how people have sex with someone willingly and then go on about being 'used' when they freely walked into the situation themselves!

he got his bit...thats it. game over....move on.