Help! How do I get my hubby to GP for fertility type tests?

catlovesmike

Hi fellas,
I need advice please. My husband and I have been trying to concieve for about a year with no luck, and the time has come to go get checked out medically. I think he's pretty nervous about the idea of that, so im asking you how to best approach it? And also, if any of you guys have been to the GP for the same thing, can you tell me what the GP did? He is on the same page as me when it comes to having a baby, i just think the Dr thing scares him! Thanks in advance everyone

crazy cat lady

I think the best thing you can do is have a chat about how you are feeling now that you have been TTC for a year with no success and approach the subject of going to the GP that way. Ask him to come with you to the GP as you would like to be checked out with regards to your fertility and to discuss with your GP the next steps to be taken. That way your GP can bring up the subject of going for semen analysis and discuss it with your husband while he is there.

Although a year may seem like an awful long time to be TTC, its quite possible that there is nothing wrong and that you just haven't been successful yet for whatever reason. Maybe you've been stressed or maybe you haven't been 'active' during your fertile period. Have you been charting your cycle?

If there is a problem however, it could be a long and stressful journey if you need medical help to concieve, so its best if you start the journey together. Don't forget to remind your husband of this if he is not overly enthusiastic about going to the GP with you

Good luck and I hope you get preggers soon!

3DataModem

Been there.

The likely scenario is that he will be asked give a semen sample for analysis. When I did it you could knock it out at home and bring it in in the little cup. Or produce it in the clinic in a locked clean room with a big pile of clinic-provided pornography.

My preference would be to have it done in a private clinic... I think the Merrion fertility clinic charge 50 or maybe 100 for semenalysis.

That's pretty much all they'll do. They'll tell him to lose weight if he's fat, and stop smoking if he smokes. But if his count and motility is good and he is infection-free... then he can sit back focus on banging your brains out as much as possible.

(apologies if anyone finds above offensive - I'll edit on request)

DetectivFoxtrot

ya, don't think GP will do a semen analysis, needs to be done at a clinic. OH did one recently, it cost €100.

I don't think it's hugely important for your husband to go to the GP with you, especially if he feels uncomfortable about it (that being said, if it's hugely important to you then as CCL said sit down and talk it out with him). You could go to your GP yourself, provide all the info, and then fill him in. Men can just be weird about that sort of stuff. However, if you get referred to a fertility clinic he will need to attend the appt with you, that is clearly stated in the appt. letter. Before you are referred to a clinic you'll be asked to submit bloods for hormone testing as the assumption is that fertility issues lie with teh woman :rolleyes:. This will take a few weeks (as you'll have to do at least Day 2/3 and Day 21 testing) and then the referral can take about 8 weeks, so you have time to get your husband used to the idea of doing the semen analysis. My husband didn't find it to be a particularly pleasant experience (even with the porngraphic paraphernalia!) but he' didn't find it a big deal either, he was just anxious about the results obviously...

Good luck and keep us posted

LegacyUser

Posting anon here since I know my boss is registered on boards.


Ive been there and done that.The tests are really nothing to be scared of.
The first step is usually a sample that you give on the day.They`ll give you some really crap magazines and expect you to "produce" so to speak.
My wife had a great way of getting me going.On the way 10-15 minutes away from the clinic she used to get me going in the car.Almost to the point where the sample may have ended up on the windscreen.It worked and even with the crap magazines I was able to give a sample.

cinderella2010

I know where you are coming from OP

I am just going to get myself checked out first as I have been told I have PCOS and endo so in OH mind it must be me. I think his manhood is under threat if I ask him to get his swimmers checked, his very odd about it...he fathered a child already so he thinks his grand....so I will do my part and if we still draw a blank (excuse the pun) I will insist on him getting checked

LegacyUser

hi there,

going anon for this too, as there is a lot of detail in it:

we have been trying for 15 months now, and i went to my gp a couple of months ago to begin the process.
firstly i went in on day 2 of my cycle, met with the gynae, she asked a few questions about my cycle and symptoms of ovulation, then took blood. on day 21 (or any day after ovulation) you go in again for more blood draw - they measure your bloods to see if you ovulated ok, and how the hormone levels are. im my case, there is a hormone thats high so could be preventing conception. because of this, she did a third blood test, which was the same, then wrote a referral to fertility specialist.

i got this in the post the other day, for 6 weeks time.
himself has an appointment an hour before the couple appointment, during which he has to produce a sample, which then gets analysed immediatly.(he has to abstain from 'activity' for 5 days before giving the sample.
i will have had to have my day 2 and 21 bloods done prior to this, in addition to hep b&c, hiv, syphills and rubella blood test, as well as a recent smear. he has to get bloods tested by gp prior to the appointment for hep b&c, hiv and syphillis as well. during the couple appointment, i will get a vaginal scan, so by the end of it, the specialist has all the information to decide a course of treatment, or further tests needed. from this point on, i dont know.

in my case, though prescription meds might sort my hormone levels, it seems that they will investigate everything first, including him, prior to giving me meds. so your first point is going to your doctor yourself, then the ball will get rolling, when its time for him, you will know from talking to your doc

LegacyUser

I only recently got the ball rolling myself. Have been trying for over a year with no sucess. Went to a female gp that I'd only been to once before for a smear. I told her the story & & she rang the Rotunda & asked what the procedure is for going to a clinic. They said to get 3 & 21 day bloods done in advance & provide semen for analysis, so when you get to the clinic there's nothing holding you up.
I've got the 3 day bloods done already & will be getting the 21 day bloods next week. O/h hasn't got the semen analysis done yet, must ring the Rotunda & ask exactly what he's to do.
The Rotunda asked if I wanted to go publicly or privately & as there's a long wait to go publicly I went private. I've no health insurance though, so I hope costs wont escalate. It's €100 for analysis, €150 for first consultants visit & €100 for every subsequent visit.
Does anyone know if it turns out I need investigatory scans or whatever, can I opt to go public, or now that I said I'm going privately, do I have to stick to that?
I got an appointment with the consultant for 5 weeks time, so all in all moved quite quickly (maybe a bit too much, as I'm starting to get really nervous about it all!)

pregzt

I personally don't think it's the best idea to go to your GP to do that. She has to send the sample to the laboratory anyway. But the main thing is that GP is the person your partner knows and meets on the Main street of your village. And this is why this kind of test is so embarrassing!

My advice, as a man who've been through this sort of things, is to go to fertility clinic and have it done in intimate atmosphere rather than in GP's loo with the coughing kids form neighborhood sitting in the waiting room

At the end of the day, the procedure of taking of the sample is pretty nice one for a man. In the clinic you can go there together, so you could give help him a bit!

the last think it that maybe the thing he is afraid is not the procedure itself, but the results. He might not be very keen to find out that his army is week or of low head count.

common sense brigade

My sister is going through the same thing. My heart goes out to you both. Her partner was worried naturally.men can get embarrassed. I got him a fertility test online. so he was able to do this at home. The test showed everything with him was fine. But he still had to go to the fertility clinic and get the tests there too. But his anxiety levels were alot less because he did the test I got him at home so he knew chances were he was pretty high he was ok.im only suggesting these tests as a first step to just ease worries. the proper in depth tests need to be done at a fertility clinic. my sister is going to the merrion and they are wonderful. they think the problen is blocked tubes. we are all praying she gets help and will concieve. Also my sis went to her GP first then got referral for both of them to the Merrion clinic. he gave semen sample, he was fine. so they progressed with my sister. I dont think they charge you until the whole process is complete. ie all tests done and consulations .here is the link if you want to get a homekit first for your partner.. http://www.inhealth.ie/Male-and-Female-Fertility-Tests.aspx