not sure what to do. . . . .

LegacyUser

Right, this may take a while.

I'm stuck in what seems to be a horrific rut. . . .

A few years ago I met a girl who i fell truly head over heels for, She was a friend of a friend. The first time I met her she had a BF, I'd see her a bit when out but i knew she had a BF so i never made a move, never tried anything on with her. But we clicked on so many levels.

After a while I didn't get to see her (College, Work, etc) for quite some time.

This is where it all kinda goes pear-shaped. . . .

Last year we started to hang out again, and straight away we clicked again. This time though she told me that she had broken up with her BF for nearly a year. I didn't ask for her number straight away but after a few more nights out I asked for it and she gave it to me. Neither of us are great for texting so the messages were normally about meeting up, hanging out etc. Then on a night out we kissed, it didn't feel awkward, there was no pressure from either one of us, it just felt right and it happened. For 2-3 months we were seeing each other, I completely fell for her, then on new years she told me how she felt the same way but then a week later it all just stopped. I got a text message from her that said 'I'm really sorry, but I think we should only be friends'

I was heartbroken, I literally could not work/eat/sleep for three weeks, I couldn't even bring myself round to talk her.
Our mutual friend (who is actually my best friend) broke the news to me that she had been seeing a guy (Who my best friend works with, and introduced them to each other), but that she was really upset about what had happened between me and her.

My friend then went on to tell me how i shouldn't feel this way about her, she was out of my league, I never stood a chance, It was always unrequited etc etc. . .
This annoyed me. I was in such a bad way that i couldn't be in the room as her and led to me not talking to either my friend, the girl in question or my other friends for four months as they became 'best pals' and were always out with our group.

I eventually buried all feelings I had towards the girl, I started to hang back out with the group as she was never out, But then one day she was out, with her new bf and I had to leave. . . Every feeling i had towards this girl came back up but over a hundred times stronger. . .

I realise that's a bit of a rant but she is the first thing i think of the morning, the last thing i think of a night. . . I've tried to date other girls but i can't! I can talk to girls no problem but i can't kiss them, i can't sleep with them, i can't start a relationship with any of them. . .

Am I doing myself harm by not letting go? Or Should I let this girl know how I feel and what she's done to me?

Giblet

It's gonna be hard to hear this, but she doesn't care, she found someone she wants and unfortunately you're not it. You are doing yourself harm, serious harm, as you have lost friends and are putting all your time and effort into this person (at least mentally). You don't need to tell her anything, the chances are she won't care.

Seriously, try concentrate on something you do like, something rewarding, look for a girl who wants you! Your friend also sounds like a piece of work, making those comments.

bigbaz

my two cents is as follows.

1.your friend is a wanker,and definately likes the girl in question,jealousy is the reason for the comments he made to you.

2.learn from your mistake.dont waste time on any girl like that again,eg if you like a girl make moves toward dating or a relationship reasonably quickly and if you get rejected time hasnt been wasted on a fruitless venture.

3.the girl is also a wanker,dont let your heart rule your head,a more clinical approach to a girl like that until youre in a steady relationship will save heartbreak.

hope that helps!:)