Hate the person work is turning me into

LegacyUser

Hi,

I really don't want to sound ungrateful. I know that alot of people out there are desperate to find a job, and I have one, but I hate what it's doing to me.
My boss is emotional and has unreal mood swings.
He constantly b*tches about me behind my back to my colleagues.
He gets a kick out of belitteling me infront of his friends and even allows them to come in and ask me to do things.
Thats just a quick few things....
I've tried being as pleasant and accomodating as possible...didn't work
I've tried standing up for myself....didn't work
The other day I found myself sitting at my desk crying, willing myself to get a hold of myself. I've become snappish and I really dislike the person I'm becomming due to his constant mind games and manipulation.
I can't afford to leave, there is so little out there. And if I quit I'd have to wait 9 weeks before I caould draw my stamps.
It's a tiny company and he is incharge, there is no one else to go to....
Any advice would be greatly appreciated

LighterGuy

You are stuck between a rock and a hard place.
You have every right to not like that way the situation is.

If you quit, you have to wait 9 weeks as you say. So that puts that out.
But either way the only solution you have is to get away. Your situation sounds toxic.


I would start putting cv's in. I know its so hard to get a job. But you have to at least try.

travellingbid

Having been in this position I know exactly how you feel. I was foolish, I just put up with everything that was thrown at me and ended up spending most of my waking hours in the office just trying to keep on top of everything so my boss wouldn't have a reason to roar and scream (no exaggeration!) at me.
I became so withdrawn from my friends and family they were starting to worry about me but it took me a while to see myself how bad it was. I sent out my cv to every agency I could and I eventually found another job and am much happier now. You need to get out of there. It's the only way forward.

astra2000

Hi op that is a tough situation to be in. Firstly do you think he is deliberatly treating you like this to try and make you leave? Dont juut leave yet,you should speak to someone in citizens advice who may be able to advise you where to get help from this sounds like bullying and there are laws to prevent it. Start writing down all incidents of mistreatment. If they cant help speak to a solicitor also look online regards employees rights. As already suggested start sending out cvs and start saving in case you can take no more and do end up leaving. If you resign state the real reasons why in your letter of resignation it may prevent him from treating others this way again, and if you pursue a case of constructive dismissial it may help.
What ever you do take care of your self no job is worth having a breakdown over. Best of luck.

pog it

Your emotional wellbeing is what's most important. No job could ever be worth putting yourself through that. Have you tried looking for a similar job or something part time even? There are other jobs out there if you persist. Just believe in yourself OP

LegacyUser

Thanks for all your advise!
That's a great idea about writing down all the incidents, am already doing it, and in a way it makes me feel like I've some little bit of control... that sounds a bit stupid.....
I'm going to start putting a little away each week just in case....

LegacyUser

Work to rule. Come in at 9 and leave at 5, explaining you cannot stay any longer.

Nobody has to put up with such abuse. Document it, record it and stand strong.

davyjose

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/employment/equality-in-work/bullying_in_the_workplace


Note:

Unfair dismissal: If the bullying becomes unbearable and you are forced to leave your job, you may be entitled to claim constructive dismissal under the Unfair Dismissals Acts 1977-2007. This means that although you left your job voluntarily, in reality you were forced to do so because of the way that you were being treated. It is recommended that you should obtain legal advice about your rights before leaving your job.

LittleBook

Frustrated@work wrote: »

I can't afford to leave, there is so little out there. And if I quit I'd have to wait 9 weeks before I caould draw my stamps.

LighterGuy wrote: »

I would start putting cv's in. I know its so hard to get a job. But you have to at least try.

+ 1

The easiest way to get a job is to have a job. Get your CV together, contact some agencies, you might be surprised.

LegacyUser

Just to clarify, I have been putting my CV out there, but nothing.......

LegacyUser

davyjose wrote: »

http://www.citizensinformation.ie/categories/employment/equality-in-work/bullying_in_the_workplace


Note:
Quote:
Unfair dismissal: If the bullying becomes unbearable and you are forced to leave your job, you may be entitled to claim constructive dismissal under the Unfair Dismissals Acts 1977-2007. This means that although you left your job voluntarily, in reality you were forced to do so because of the way that you were being treated. It is recommended that you should obtain legal advice about your rights before leaving your job.

just to note, the above does work. i was bullied in my job about 6 years ago and took the company i worked for to court (with the help of my union though i might add). we came to an arrangement... but even still, at the time it was much easier to walk into another job after leaving. i hope you can work something out. bullying in the workplace should never be allowed!

clionad

I'm going through the exact same thing as you are. I'm even getting be-littled in front of customers, little experience I had today. The sad thing is that I am quite a strong person, well able to speak my mind and take care of myself. If someone was to do the same thing to me outside of the office they wouldn't be doing it again in a hurry. My boss is married to the person higher up, not good!

I'm currently looking into a constructive dismissal case. Don't quote me on this as as I said I'm only beginning to look at this, but if you have a solictor's letter there is lee-way with regard to you claiming social welfare. Your best place to advise you on this would be your local citizen's advice bureau or local social welfare office.

I'm tied to my job at the moment, due to nothing being out there and me having a mortgage. But make sure that you write everyhting down, every stupid little thing, no matter how silly they look when written down. It all counts,

Best of luck x