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  • 04-10-2010 1:09pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Broke up with my long-time partner a few weeks ago , i really want to move out now and know that moving out will devastate the person even more , but i believe it needs to be done for both of us.

    She does not really have any friends who live anywhere nearby so Im cool with being the one who moves , however we both own the house and pay the mortgage 50/50.

    I can stay with friends for a while till the house is sold/rented etc etc

    But Im scared for this persons well-being if i leave , she has said that if i leave she will quit her job and move home immediately , i dont want her to loose her job and roof over me and am unsure how to proceed ,

    any suggestions are most welcome


Comments

  • #2
    Missgoggles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 47 ✭Missgoggles


    I know you are worried for her, but seriously, if she is saying she will do all this, then let her.

    You are not responsible for her actions and how she deals with the breakup. It may be the best thing for her to move back home, as she will have her friends and family to help her out.

    Focus on what you need to do. She will be ok. I know its tough right now, but the longer you put moving on hold, the longer it will take for you both to move on!!

    Goodluck anyway, its never easy to walk away!


  • #3
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thanks do much for your reply.

    Im thinking along the same lines myself however one further issue we have is Mortgage responsibilities ,, i would be financially able to pay the whole mortgage myself if she does run off.
    What idea what happens in that case ?


  • #4
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    OPPS sorry
    i mean financially NOT able to pay the mortgage by myself


  • #5
    astra2000
    Closed Accounts Posts: 734 ✭✭✭astra2000


    Hi op why does she not want you to move out is she hoping for a reconciliation, if that is the case and you are definite that that is not going to happen you should move out asap. When you move out is it possible for you to speak with one of her family members who may be able to stop her making rash decisions.
    If she moves out could you move back in and let some bedrooms out to help with mortgage payments. you shouldspeak to your mortgage lender and see if what options are available should you not be able to make repayments.


  • #6
    Missgoggles
    Closed Accounts Posts: 47 ✭Missgoggles


    Well you have a mortgage together so Im assuming she will have to keep up her part of the payments, but I know sometimes it doesnt work out that way so you both need to sit down and sort out what will happen with the house.

    Im not really sure about the legal aspects of it all so maybe some other posters will be able to help with this.

    Whatever happens, try come to a decision that works for you both.


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  • #7
    solovely
    Closed Accounts Posts: 273 ✭✭solovely


    Would you not get in a lodger to pay her half of the mortgage?

    I have lived with two exes for a short while after breaking up with them (they then moved in together....another story!!) and believe me, it's toxic and not good for anyone concerned. Nobody moves on, bitterness, suspicion sets in, and basically you feel sad all the time, being reminded of what should have worked, but didn't! Get out of there as quick as you can.

    Luckily, in my case there was no mortgage involved, so I imagine logistically it's a lot tougher. But only solution is either you move, and she gets a lodger or she moves and you do. Whoever moves out will probably still have to pay part of the mortgage to top up, but it's better than living in a really unhealthy soul destroying environment! I presume given current climate that selling is not an option?


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