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long distance starting off

  • 03-10-2010 10:35am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    il try keep this as short as possible.
    i recently met a girl out in spain one night and we stayed up talking until 5 one morning but nothing happened, we exchanged numbers and that was it, i was leaving the next day to do some travelling and didnt see her. over the next month there was a few texts everyday that got more frequent as time went on. i was getting to a particular place and was 10 days away when she decided to tell me she was going to meet me there. i was pretty shocked and traveled the entire length of spain to see me for a weekend, turned out we had a great weekend together. i had a few more plans after that travel wise for another week and i decided I would go visit her for a week. I arrived and we had a fantastic week together, good fun, got on really well etc. all sounds perfect i know.....however....
    i got the feeling she was moving far too quick for me, the weekend we spent together(while being relative strangers) she told me she thinks she could fall in love with me which il be honest scared me a little, we had only spent 2 days together.

    i came back to ireland 2 weeks ago and we have been texting and skypeing which has been fine. i have been thinking about the situation with us being in seperate countries and im kinda stuck here with college for at least 2 years and transferring isnt really an option.
    I've tried to just go with the flow with her and just see how it goes but then this morning i woke up to a text that said "I love you a lot"

    I'll be honest I'm a bit worried about it, she is clearly moving too fast and is looking like she is getting too caught up in this. to be honest I dont even know if what we have is an 'official relationship' and then she is telling me she loves me.

    anyone got any words of wisdom for me


Comments

  • #2
    Cheap Thrills!
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,723 ✭✭✭Cheap Thrills!


    Hey, sounds like she is way too over-keen OP so early. You are right to be uncomfortable.

    Be careful !


  • #3
    darad
    Closed Accounts Posts: 109 ✭✭darad


    Why cant you tell her shes moving too fast? The long distance thing can be overcome if you both want to work at it but dont use it as an excuse.


  • #4
    magneticimpulse
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,952 ✭✭✭magneticimpulse


    been there done that, worn the t-shirt and never ever again!!!

    Its a complete waste of time, forget it. 1st of all your tied up with college which is more important. 2nd its going to be very difficult and expensive to keep visiting each othere. Far enough it might last a year like that...but when it ends, you and she will be absolutely gutted.

    I can tell you it is the worse break up experience to ever go through. After investing alot of time and money in the relationship, when it doesnt work out, you kick yourself, because if you had of been dating someone local in same city of you...you prob would have saved about €4000 or more. Its a huge money investment which at the end of the day, normally isnt an investment at all when it doesnt work out.

    Already this girl seems to have latched onto you. Think of when your going for a drink with your friend in Ireland...she will be ringing you and demanding to know everything.

    Definitely just enjoy it for what it was. Yes it sounds great now...but the extreme high now will only fail into a vortex of complete break up horror. Avoid this one, concentrate on college and then see whats ahead. Plenty of nice people in Ireland, if you just look in the right place.


  • #5
    unattendedbag
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 456 ✭✭unattendedbag


    OP if she's the right girl for you then its definately worth putting the effort in. What you's need to do is have a really big converation and get everything out in the open first. Thats how you's feel about each other and where you's plan to go with the relationship. You know you have a 2 year wait before you's can properly be together, so discuss how often you's can see each other on visits until then and how often you's should remain in contact when seperated. Im at the end of a 4 year long distance relationship spanning several time zones and thousands of miles between us so I know it is posible to make it a success. Ask yourself if there is a possibility somtime soon that you may want to spend your life with this woman. That should be a good enough motivation to make you want to succeed.


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