Someone hates me

Knit wit

A client I dealt with a couple of years back hates me. I was the caseworker assigned to her funding application. When the pot ran dry ... As it did across the country, she accused me of sabotaging the application.

This person Really personally despises me, has made unfounded accusations about my work. I have the backing of my superiors at work and have no case to answer (having not been personally responsible for the economic downturn).

I'm now in the very difficult position of having to deal with this person who does not want to deal with me. This makes my working life extremely difficult.

Any advice would be welcome.

u_c_thesecond

Knit wit wrote: »

I'm now in the very difficult position of having to deal with this person who does not want to deal with me. This makes my working life extremely difficult.

Any advice would be welcome.

could you elaborate on this part please?

amdublin

u_c_thesecond wrote: »

could you elaborate on this part please?

Do we really need specifics here???

Practically I would advise:
- Document everything. By email if possible ie. send minutes of every meeting and what was agreed etc. At a minimum you should document what you discuss/agree with them
- Try not have too much 1 on 1 contact with them. Ie. invite other people to meetings/discussions with them
- Prepare before meetings and decide what you are going to say (go over a script in your mind)
- Do not let her push you into agreeing to anything which you do not want to. Use key phrases like I will need to get back to you on that etc etc
- Keep other people updated on the work you are doing with this person and position of all work issues etc
- Be civil at all times
- Is there any chance of a transfer???
-

Emotionally (and more importantly!!):
- Can you discuss with your manager how about how to deal with this and about how you are feeling??
- Remind yourself that this is just a job. Try not let her affect you (I know this is easier said than done).
- Remind yourself that this is her problem not yours. Also that you had no control over what happened in the past. You cannot control what way she acts but you can control how you yourself deals with it.
- Stay calm

Good luck. Please please don't let her get to you!

thefeatheredcat

Knit wit wrote: »

I have the backing of my superiors at work and have no case to answer (having not been personally responsible for the economic downturn)

I assume by this that your managers are aware of this situation? If so, I'm curious as to why they are letting you continue this.... except that this is a learning curve for you.

Kill them with kindness - obviously you can't fund to their needs, but they have an attitude problem and are blaming you for the situation, so it means that you are the outlet for their anger.

Don't take it personally, just do the best that you can, give them as much kindness as you can within your role, don't let them get the satisfaction of being at their mercy of their anger. Give them understanding (even if they're totally wrong) and empathy.

If things are going on outside of your job that they're targeting you personally outside of work hours, then that's when you call the Gardai in for harassment.

Knit wit

Thanks as always for taking the time to reply. I do my best to avoid contact with this person and vice versatile. There are days when I am alone in the office and must take the call. What upsets me is that this person makes a point of asking to speak to every other person in the office before saying she will ring back another day. This is humiliating. I feel I get no support from my colleagues who never take her to task on her attitude. It's so frustrating that this is allowed to continue.
The advice given has been very useful thanks. I am documenting everything.
On a positive note, it's only a job and I'm back in college getting a new degree and planning my escape!

estar

why feel humiliated? the only person allowing you to feel humiliated is you. you feel that professionally you should have been able to handle here. while in fact any of the staff who had to say no to her would have gotten the brunt of her anger. you tried your best so rather than beating yourself up in your head assign this to the unreasonable and in no way under my control box in your head, and learn the valuable lesson of how to deal professionally with someone difficult.

i am sure everyone on your team has had the same experience with someone. handle it with patience and without getting emotional and you will be rewarded with the respect of your colleagues.

you cannot control others (mostly), only how you react to them.

Three Sheets

Knit wit wrote: »

A client I dealt with a couple of years back hates me. I was the caseworker assigned to her funding application. When the pot ran dry ... As it did across the country, she accused me of sabotaging the application.

This person Really personally despises me, has made unfounded accusations about my work. I have the backing of my superiors at work and have no case to answer (having not been personally responsible for the economic downturn).

I'm now in the very difficult position of having to deal with this person who does not want to deal with me. This makes my working life extremely difficult.

Any advice would be welcome.

Express your sympathy for her situation and offer to put her into contact with your superiors. Tell her that it is not only her right but her obligation to query suspect discrepencies and that if she feels you've misused your duties she owes it to herself to make a complaint. Give her the name and number of the superior responsible for such problems and supply her with pertinent documentation (copies) to assist her in putting her complaint forward. Assure her that you do not take it personally and if it comes to light that you have made any errors you will be thankful to her for bringing it to your attention. Also inform her that in the event there were any errors made she may be entitiled to reimbursement. In short - inform her of her rights in a helpful, friendly manner.